𝗠𝗼̈𝘁𝗹𝗲𝘆 𝗖𝗿𝘂̈𝗲 𝗜𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀 🤍

💛 𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗜 𝗪𝗮𝘀 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗠𝗮𝗻 {𝗧𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘆 𝗟𝗲𝗲}

Hey! So, back at it again with a song imagine! This is based off the Bruno Mars song 'When I Was Your Man'.

I hope you enjoy it!

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Tommy's POV, 1998

I'm a fuck up... shit... why do I always make the worst fucking decisions?

From all the bad decisions I've ever made- this was by far the worst one. It was a while ago mind you, it was 12 years ago, 12 years since I let the best thing to ever happen to me slip through my fingers.

Y/N and I were together from 1979 to 1986, we were together and I loved her, really I did but I really didn't show it as much as I should've.

When we first broke up I blamed her, I don't know what for... I just blamed her- I told her she didn't support me enough, didn't support my dreams and ambitions, I told her she didn't understand me and a bunch of other bullshit.

When we first broke up I was angry, I thought it as anger at her but it wasn't, I was never angry at her it was me, I was angry at myself for being an asshole of course by the time I realized this it was too late.

I finally accepted responsibility for our failed relationship in June of 1987, when she moved on from me with another man, what made it worse was the fact the man was Vince Neil.

Vince always had a thing for Y/N even when we were together, so I wasn't surprised when he made a move on her but it broke me into pieces.

Everyday since then waking up in the morning has been a lonely fucking thing, because no-matter who lays next to me I still feel alone... the bed just feels so much bigger now without her.

You'd think I'd be used to it but no... it still hurts. You'd think after 11 years of seeing Vince with Y/N it'd be easier... and you'd certainly think that hearing our song on the radio wouldn't hold any emotional baggage but fuck... you'd be so so wrong.

I still cry when I hear it- that song being 'I Will Always Love You' by Dolly Parton, it's silly how that song from meaningful to ironic, because I will always love Y/N... but she doesn't love me anymore... she made that song our song.

We danced to it one night when it came in the radio in the car. We were driving down a quiet road Y/N was flicking through stations and the that song came on, she made me pull over and we danced together on the side of the road, it's one of my most treasured memories with her.

It used to fill me with such joy to hear... now it tears my heart apart, whether it's Whitney Houston or Dolly Parton it doesn't fucking matter it has the same effect.

There's no escaping her, everything reminds me of her, I always hear about her- she's married to my band mate for fucks sake. I've tried to distance to myself from her and Vince which has been partly successful, especially when Nikki fired Vince in '92 but now we're back together, how long for I don't know, but we are for now and it destroys me everytime I see them.

Tension was high between Vince and I, for a number of reasons... but I think he knows... I think he knows I still love Y/N, he's still pissed at me for hurting her in the first place and I can't be mad at him for that cause I'm still pissed at myself.

Just hearing her name breaks my heart.

I was a shit boyfriend to her.

Maybe not in the beginning, but the longer we were together the more problems arose. The last 2 years of our relationship was where you could really see the problems, it was all me. Y/N never did anything, it was just me.

I was too young and dumb to realize how lucky I was to have a girl like Y/N, I should have treated her right. I'm known for being the romantic one of the Crüe but I certainly didn't live up to that when with Y/N- I suppose I was more romantic than the others but I wasn't as romantic as people would expect, I never brought her flowers or held her hand, I put my work and music above her, spending most of my free time writing music leaving practically no time for her. I should have made more time for her, I should have loved her properly when I had the chance.

I'm not sure what started to happened in '84 to make me so distant from her, maybe it was the growing success of the band, but that's not an excuse. It never was. Every party that was thrown we went to together, and every single party she'd get up and ask me to dance, I never did.

Privately, yeah, I'd dance with her all the time but I always let my ego and my pride get in the way in public- I didn't want to be seen dancing in a room full of my friends. It was stupid and it hurt her, I knew that but I didn't care at the time but I do now.

After we broke up obviously parties were still thrown, I thew them, so did Nikki, Mick and Vince.

But, every party since we broke up I had to watch as Y/N danced with someone who wasn't me, she never approached me, why would she?

I had to watch her dance with Vince, he did what I couldn't- he put his pride and ego on the backseat and treated her how she deserved.

For years I've cursed myself for letting my pride, my ego and my own wants and needs get in the way of our relationship... I had selfish ways and I payed the price... I drove away the strongest woman I knew, I made her walk out of my life and not look back.

It's too late now to clean up the mess I made, too late to apologize for being a shitty boyfriend too late for a  second chance, I know she doesn't hate me because she told me... she told me that she doesn't hate me for what I became but she can't forgive me either and I accepted that relieved she can at the very least tolerate me.

It haunts me everyday, every time I close my eyes I see how happy we were... all those years ago... I just so caught up in myself that I began to completely overlook her.

I wish I'd have brought her flowers, and held her hand, I wish I would have spent all my free time loving her how she deserved when I had the chance.

But she'll never be mine again... she's married to Vince and has been for 8 years, she's over my sorry ass.

Y/N's happier with Vince than she was with me and that stings or maybe she was that happy with me once but it was so long ago I can't even remember, I can't even be jealous of Vince because if it wasn't for me I'd still have her, we would have got married, we would have had children, I would be sleeping next to her every night, but I have non of that with her- but Vince? Yeah, he has all of it, he has everything I want.

I'll be the first to admit my mistakes I made with her now, knowing just what I lost when she walked out of my life- nobody can fill the void in my heart from what I did to Y/N.

It's too late to properly apologize for my mistakes but that doesn't matter.. as long as she's happy.. I just want her to be happy.

Vince is a great man, he's a great dad to their daughter and he's a great husband to Y/N... he's treasured her from the beginning- I know he treats her how I never did, he loves her deeply anyone can see that.

I just hope he keeps treating her right, I hope he still buys her flowers, and holds her hand I hope he spends every second of his free time loving her, loving her like I couldn't.

I hope Vince still takes her to every party cause Y/N still loves to dance. I hope he still does everything we did and everything I should have done when I was her man.

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