The Rise of Light (Book 3: Together Forever)

Guilt

Night's POV

I stood in front of Falcon. He was right. I was more confident. And it felt... good. I shook my head. Why can't he understand that I don't want another dragon? I want him.

I backed out. It was too small a list, but at the same time... it wasn't.

"Falcon," I began again. "My list is so short because there's only one thing on it... and... I love everything about you. I love how you can be confident and how you can be so brave and I love how, most of the time, you take other's feelings into account before your own. And how you- you..." I trailed off I couldn't finish it because what if... what if he doesn't? What if that was only a cover to spare me?

I didn't dare look at him as I felt my heart shatter completely.

He broke up with me. He pushes me away. He tells me I don't deserve him. But what if... I couldn't face that truth. Maybe... I could never move on. That much was obvious.

I could feel the tears pouring down my face as my broken heart continued to beat.

My fault. My fault. My fault. All of this is my fault. I screwed up. Again and again and again. 

My fault that Falcon broke up with me. My fault that that thing got in my head. My fault that Blackmoon is dead. My fault that my Uncle was dead. My fault that Vera was captured. My fault that Falcon is looking at me like this. All of it is my fault.

I could do nothing. Nothing to change it. Nothing to fix it.

I stared at my claws. These have harmed so many. 

My mind quickly fell into a downward spiral. A fall so steep and uncontrollable that I had no way of stopping, nothing to grab onto until I reached the bottom and that is where I would lay broken and unfixable, the fall too great, too fast.

I had saved them from me for now. But how long would that last? How long would I remain sane?

"Night," someone rumbled as I muttered under my breath and a wild look filled my, now, hollow eyes.

They started to purr quietly and my hyperventilating slowly turned to calm deep breaths..

"I love you. I do. I'm sorry," someone said as the purring continued. As I felt myself returning to normal, well normal-ish. "Shhh... Deep breaths... It's okay..." They continued as I felt the warmth around me.

"O-okay," I whispered back as I cuddled closer to the source of the warmth, feeling the comfort and safety of wherever I was.

"Night, how are you feeling?" A rumble came from the wall I was leaning against.

"S-safe. W-warm," I muttered and the wall rumbled again.

"You sound like a little hatchling," I felt the wall shake again and I pressed against it harder, and the voice let out an oof. My ears pressed against the wall and I heard a steady thumping sound and let out a purr of my own, the sound surprising me.

I opened my eyes and all I saw were dark blue scales. And I could already feel the hollowness returning, grabbing at me with teeth and claws before I quickly closed my eyes again and sidled closer still.

"Okay. Time to face the world," the voice said and the light shone in as the wall moved away.

I looked up to see Falcon folding his wings against his side again and I turned away. I couldn't face him like this, not with my mind degrading more with every second.

I shook my own wings out, trying to rid myself of the sudden cold. Your fault. Your fault. The voices sang. And it was.

It felt like I was going in circles. I would try to escape the voices only for my thoughts to lead right back to where I started. 

And they were attacking me. Tearing me up.

Breaking me.

Falcon's POV

I saw Night collapse.

Watched him still.

Watched his tears dry up as if he hadn't just been crying.

I laid down in front of him as his eyes stared into empty space, not even seeming to notice I was there. The hollowness in his expression, though, sent a chill down my spine.

Never. Not in all my years of knowing Night had I seen him like this. 

"Rowan," I said as I glanced over my shoulder at the figure of the medic.

He turned to us with a frown, "What's wrong?"

"I-I don't know. He's just... staring at nothing," I replied.

"Night?" He asked as he stood in front of him. "What was he like before?"

"Well... he was acting a little like a hatchling. I was comforting him, I don't know if it was something I did... Maybe something I said? I don't know but he was trembling and he had this same look..." I trailed off, going over the conversation with him in my head.

"Night. Can you hear me?" not a single muscle twitched.

"N-Night?" I rumbled, a quiet whine escaping my throat. "Just give me a sign..."

"Try what you were doing before. It was able to get through to him last time, maybe it'll work again." I gave him a look. This might get a tad bit uncomfortable.

I gave him a worried look and a small smile. "You sure?"

"No. But it's worth a shot," he replied. I cast him one last look and enveloped Night in my wings and let out a deep purr. I saw him raise his eyebrows and I just gave him a flat stare.

"You said to do what I was doing before," I deadpanned.

"Did not think it was this," he replied and I flicked an ear at him to shrug off his comment. "Delta wouldn't believe this," he muttered to himself and my ears flattened as my purring stopped for a second.

"W-we don't have to t-tell her..." I said, fear evident in my voice.

"You're scared of her?" he asked, curiously.

"She's almost as scary as Vera," I replied.

"Good to know I'm taken seriously around here," a flat voice sounded behind me. "Where's my brother?" Vera demanded as she stood ferociously behind me.