Coming to Terms

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Vera's POV

I watched Night leave.

Was I really acting like a hatchling? I asked myself.

I dragged my claws through the dirt. Three years is a long time... Aurora does deserve her mother to be happy...

"No, Vera... If you're gonna do this, you're gonna do it for yourself," I muttered.

I started pacing. What do I deserve? I thought. What do I want? 

It had been so long since I had thought about myself that the thoughts were strange. First, it had always been what was best for Night. Then, what was best for Aurora. Then, what was best for my family. Then, Aurora again. 

"What is wrong with me?" I asked myself. "How can I take care of Aurora when I can't even take care of myself?" The tears were starting to flow from my eyes.

Night was right. I need to grow up. Blackmoon wasn't coming back. I couldn't bring him back. I couldn't bring Cloudscale back either.

I need to let them go. I want to let them go. Because if I let them go... maybe I can be happy again. 

I took in a shuddering breath as I took off to the pit that he had died in.

10 minutes later

The dark hole that seemed to suck all the life out of the air was deep. I stood on its edge as I stared down into it. I couldn't make my wings open as I stared into it. I just stood there as the day I had lost my brother replayed over and over again.

"It's not your fault..." I muttered to myself as I stood there. "You didn't kill him," I murmured. "You can, and you will do this."

After long minutes of standing there, I finally mustered the courage to descend into it.

My steps were slow as I walked over to the spot where Blackmoon had bled out. My tears mixed in with his dried blood, a small spot where no wind nor water had managed to wipe away, as I lay down. The faint scent of my brother still lingered on the crimson blood.

"Hey, Blackmoon," I whispered even though I knew he couldn't hear me. It was time. Time for me to let him go. "It's me, your baby sis. I know you probably can't hear me." I let out a choked laugh. "You've moved on, after all. That's why I'm here, actually. Night told me to grow up. Funny isn't, it? You all always said that I was too mature. Well, here I am, three years after you died, and I'm still acting like I just lost you. I'll always love you, bro. But, I think it's time for me to let you go." I let out a sigh as I stared at my paws before I stood up. "Goodbye, Moons, I'll see you in Valhalla."

I stood there for a while more as I brought the image of his death to mind. Yes, it's time. I thought as I exhaled, letting the memory slip away to the back of my mind.

As I turned away from the death of my brother, I felt lighter than I had in years. 

5 minutes later

I smiled at Night as I walked into the healer's hut. He looked startled as I head-butted him affectionately, something I hadn't done in years.

"Who wants to play a game of tag?" I asked. Falcon blinked several times at my sudden change of attitude.

"Uhhh... Vera? Are you feeling okay?" Night asked me.

I shrugged. "Could be better, but hey! Who cares?" I replied. No one said anything else, so I sat down in disappointment. "So... no tag?" I asked dejectedly.

"Mum?" Aurora asked tentatively. 

I smiled at her brightly. "Hey, Shadow," I said, catching myself from wincing at the word.

"What are you doing?" she asked. I frowned.

"I was smiling, Moons," I told her. Night's eyes widened comically at my old nickname for Blackmoon.

"Moons?" she asked. "But what about Shadow?"

"Well, Moons was what I used to call your other Uncle before he died. I-I thought you would like it," I told her glumly. 

She tilted her head slightly as I looked down at my paws, my depression starting to return.

"Don't replace him, Vera," Night told me sternly.

I whipped around to face him. "I am not replacing Blackmoon. He is our brother. I would never!" I snarled at him. Falcon and Night looked at me in shock.

"I like it, Mum!" Aurora said brightly.

"R-really?" I asked. She nodded.

"Hey, 'Rora," Falcon said. "How about we go see Aunta?" Aurora shot me a questioning look.

"Go on," I told her. "We'll see you in a little bit."

They disappeared from view when a Deadly Nadder burst in, effectively waking Uncle Ro up. Night and I quickly made our escape.

"What's up with you? Do you have another egg? Cause you are-" He was interrupted by my tail whacking him on the head.

"I'm trying, okay! I made some good progress, but this isn't something that happens overnight! Gods above! I don't get you!" I shouted.

"Y-you mean you're actually..." he trailed off.

"Yes. I'm actually trying to put Blackmoon's death behind me. You were right and all that dragon dung. Blah blah blah!" I told him in annoyance.

He smiled. "Good. Now, mind telling me why you almost flinched when you said Shadow?" he asked.

"Gods! Nothing gets past you, does it?" I said with a smile. He smiled back as he shook his head. "Trygve called me that... Plus, Shadow demon stuff... You know, not my particular favourite thing ever. Anyway, Moons seems like a nice tribute to Blackmoon."

He nodded. "I'm glad... That you're letting him go, I mean. I hated seeing you so sad."

"Understandable... there's something else... I think you know what it is, but I... I really want, probably need, to put it, at least, partly behind me... I don't really know how, though..." I said quietly.

"How you got with egg, right?" he asked. I nodded. "I don't know how to help with that, but if you're ever ready to talk about it, I'll be here to listen."

"Thanks," I said.

He smiled at me softly. "What are brothers for?" 


A/N

Dreamchaser and Arvid are 26.

Falcon and Trygve are 23.

Delta's children are 22.

Osmund is 21.

Zephyr and Twilight are 19.

Nuffink is 17.

Aurora is 3.

Blackmoon and Cloudscale are dead.

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