Card Tricks (Hisoka x Reader) Book 2 of The Magician and The Dragon

XIII

The feeling of my body moving wakes me up from an empty dreamless sleep. As my eyes flutter open trying to figure out my surroundings, Hisoka's cologne overwhelms my sense of smell. 

"Did you just get back?" I mutter in a raspy voice snuggling into his chest.

"We did, you tried to wait up for me, didn't you," He chuckles lowly.

"Maybe," He sets me onto the bed and walks away. The sound of his footsteps retreating tells me he's gone to the bathroom. Probably to shower. Guess I did fall asleep on the balcony. I don't feel the light pouring in from my balcony door, so it must still be dark out. Guess I can go back to sleep. As my eyes start to fade into a deep sleep, who I can only assume is Hisoka climbs into bed and pulls me into him. His bare chest feels cold, just the way I like it. His arm wraps around my lower back holding me against his side. 

"Goodnight babe," I mutter against his skin.

"Goodnight, flower," Flower? Wait a second, that voice. Shooting up, I realize that it isn't Hisoka I'm next to, it's Chrollo. I try to get away from him, but he locks me in place next to him. Panic takes over as those same glowing red eyes that haunted me before come back, this time staring directly at me through Chrollo's face. His arm reaches towards my neck, squeezing with considerable force, my air supply running low. Chrollo's face shifts into this pitch-black almost wolf-like head, those red eyes glowing more ferociously than before.  

"I'm coming for you, princess," It growls. I can't move or do anything, I feel utterly helpless as the oxygen is taken out of me.

My body jolts up desperately trying to catch my breath. Feels like I'm coughing up blood. Someone grabs my hand, but still in shock I end up swinging a punch at them. The person catches my hand and pulls me into them. It takes me a few seconds to register that it's Hisoka, the real Hisoka, my Hisoka. My body relaxes in his, every last bit of terror from that nightmare fading away through my tears as his arms secure themselves around me, holding me tight against him. 

It was just a dream, only a dream. Nothing else. I haven't had nightmares since the days we were being tortured by Illumi's parents. It led me to anxiety and sleeping pills. Parts of my past I keep locked away because I don't want to remember being that weak and helpless. I felt like a burden to Lulu and my parents. I was struggling to get by in training and it just made me even more anxious. I locked every part of that away because I thought if I could forget it, it'll leave me. But that isn't how it is. It haunts me almost every day, trying to bring me down. Most days I'll ignore it and continue, but other days, it overwhelms me to the point I can't through my day properly. 

Illumi knows about it and he knows how to handle it, but I have a very bad feeling I'm gonna have to explain all of this to Hisoka and I don't know if I can. I'm afraid he'll see me as weak if I do tell him. I don't want him to look at me differently. The last thing I want is to feel like a burden to him. He already does so much for me, I don't wanna overload him with everything I go through. 

Those red eyes, they seem to know me, yet I don't have a clue who they belong to. They started appearing when dad got sick, and even a few minor times before that. After dad's death, they seemed to vanish. But why come back now? It doesn't make any sense. I'm probably just stressed. Yeah, that's it. That's all it is. I just need an afternoon to myself to find my inner balance as grandpa calls it. He has been the one helping me control my emotions that are tied to my abilities so I don't open a crater in the mountain and bury us in it. So far he's been successful. Now I just have to continue it. 

Hisoka shifts under me, waking me from sleep. I roll over onto my side allowing him to get up. Please tell me today is Saturday and I don't have to deal with any bullshit till Monday. Grabbing my phone from the nightstand, it's Friday. Thank fucking goodness for that. Oh wait, I have an ongoing mission right now. Fuck. Just when I think I get a timeout. To make matters worse, this damn case might end up being more of a nuisance than we thought. Plus there's that whole Chrollo thing I have to talk to the guys about. I'm not going to be able to go back to sleep anytime soon so I'll just head downstairs for some breakfast.