kai parker imagines

rachel || kai parker (sequel)

kai's p.o.v.

i thought it was the universe pulling rachel and i together after all of these years—i mean, what are the odds that you witness your girlfriend dying, then get sent to a prison world, then see her again twenty years later?—but, if anything, this is the universe telling me that her and i don't belong together. and it took losing y/n for me to realise it.

sure, rachel is kind and smart and beautiful, sometimes sarcastic (but she could never reach y/n's level of sarcasm.. sheesh), but she's changed. we both have.

we seemed so perfect together all those years ago. we seemed right for each other. i mean, she accepted me. she was the only person who made me feel seen after being neglected by my family all those years. but now, i don't know... i have to get to know her all over again. and if i would have met this version of her back then, y/n and i might still be together. there would be no rachel in the picture.

as i walked home, hands in my pockets, i anxiously thought of ways that i could tell rachel that this wasn't working out. i felt awful, not just for her, but for y/n, too. all the hurt that i'd caused the both of them simply because i couldn't choose.

when i got home, someone's shoes were at the front door. they were way too big to be mine, and plus, not really my style. i looked up at the coat rack and, surprise surprise, someone else's were hanging, too.

i walked upstairs as quietly as i could, preparing myself for what i might see. instead of what i imagined, it was rachel and her arms wrapped tightly around another guy.

she quickly jumped up, clearly not expecting me. "kai? what are you doing, i thought you weren't gonna be home until-"

"who is this?"

"he's a friend." the guy looked at her with the same expression that y/n gave me when i called her my "friend."

"you told me you broke up with kai," he said, thankfully siding with me. she winced, not even bothering to open her mouth to speak.

our relationship was obviously going downhill, but i never thought it would come to this. i guess it is easier, since she ended us once and for all.

"i'm sorry, rachel, but please leave. we're over," i said as kindly as i possibly could, and the guy nodded, getting up from the bed.

"same here," he said with annoyance, walking out. she looked at me with teary eyes. she didn't try and protest, just simply got her things and left. i sighed, sitting on the bed.

y/n was all that ran through my mind. god, i miss her so much, and it's awful that i didn't realise how much she meant to me until she was gone. and i drove her away.

i never stopped feeling guilty about our anniversary night. how she planned everything out, only for me to ditch her to see a concert with rachel. okay, it was an amazing concert but that's not what this is about. point is, i should've been there with y/n. i don't deserve her.

i have no idea how to even start a conversation with y/n, let alone reach out, but i've wasted enough time already. i need to see her soon or else i'll lose my mind.

the next morning, i drove to all of y/n's favourite stores, i got her some makeup, perfume sets, flowers, a necklace, a teddy bear, these round balls that i got from a store called lush that explose when you put them in water i guess, and a giftcard to chipotle. because it's chipotle.

i bought a cute basket and filled it with everything i got. then, i grabbed my balloon that was red and shaped like a heart and headed to her house, the route so familiar i could drive there with my eyes closed.

i became anxious as i made my way over, i haven't seen her in five months. i wonder if she looks the same. in some of her instagram posts i notices she cut her hair, but that's about all. maybe she's taller, i thought, then laughed at the thought of y/n ever growing.

when i made it to her house, her car was parked in the driveway. i almost sighed, not wanting her to be home so that i had an excuse not to do this.

nervously, i held this ridiculous balloon in one hand and the basket in the other. the bear fell out and i quickly picked them up, dusted them off and shoved
them into the basket.

i knocked on her door and rang the doorbell once. i heard the loud barking of her very tiny dog before she pulled the door open. she had no makeup up and looked as beautiful as ever.

i was right, she did get a haircut, she it wasn't in its normal bun. she wore an oversized band shirt and some shorts, along with fuzzy socks. i didn't realise i was staring until she awkwardly cleared her throat. "hi."

"oh, um, hi," i replied. "happy anniversary."

she opened her mouth to speak and then quickly shut it. i continued, "i know it passed already, but.. i needed to make it up to you because i felt awful and... because i love you."

her mouth fell open as she just stared at me with complete and utter shock. "what about.. rachel?"

"it doesn't matter, y/n, because i love you. and i'm sorry that i couldn't say it before... god why is talking about your feelings so hard? i had no probably writing them down."

she grinned, pulling me into a hug. "you know it's gonna take a while for you to redeem yourself, right?" she whispered into my ear and i smiled.

"and i'll make it up to you. promise."