Wanting to belong..

took you this long?

joker: so you dont remeber anything?

eliana: from last night? not really how did i get in bed?

joker: i helped you haha

eliana: thanks haha im gonna go to the store then make some sales you good?

joker: yea im good your not hungover?

eliana: I am but i need money ill take tylenols haha thanks joker

she kissed his cheek and left

joker: bye babygirl ..

she really didn't remember ..

lokote- haha i knew you liked her!!

joker- yea but she doesn't remember so i ain't gonna bring it up shes busy to she found out she has siblings

lokote- wait wait who kissed who first? haha and really that's whats up im happy for her

joker- im happy for her too .. and she kissed me

lokote- that means shes got feelings maybe bring it up as a joke or something?

joker- ill see

the day went by he went out to work ..

jose: i saw yall

eliana: what?

jose: last night?

eliana: what are you talking about? haha

jose: i saw you hug and kiss joker

she stopped walking and looked at him surprised ..

eliana: wait i did that? huh i don't remember shit

jose: yea i was trying hard not to laugh haha he kissed you back though then you went to bed

eliana: fuck ..

jose: do you like him? is this bad? i thought yall

eliana: i don't know i think i do but i cant fuck up what i have i have a place to live there

jose: if he doesn't bring it up then don't say anything that easy you don't even remember anyways

eliana: yea that's true i guess

another thought added on to her already overwhelming mind ..

did she have feelings for him? did he have feelings for her?

as she drove home she got a text

barbara- as a late gift i want to give you a number .. i did my own research i hope all is well

she had sent eliana her moms number

eliana- is this hers?

barbara- yes it is

eliana- thank you so much

she got home .. and locked herself in her room and looked at the number

she wanted so badly to call her but what would she say if her mom answered?

she wrote it down and saved it

eliana: mom i have your name your number .. i wonder if you have anything of mine

she kept it a secret for a couple weeks not wanting to rush anything ..

sam- so you live with a homie that's good glad your not homeless at least

eliana- yea i got lucky but look i sent you a package and letter today ok

sam- you didn't have to do anything for me eliana you answering was enough

eliana- your family i go you don't worry .. but i also i got her number i haven't called ..

sam- thank you eli .. and you did that's good but

eliana- but?

sam- yea shes our mom i know you wanna think well of her but i rather break your heart than you have it shattered by her ..

eliana- i honestly never expected her accept me .. i just want answers like what happened? but i kinda did have some hope but i should face the reality your right

sam- im sorry eli but its not your fault it isn't i had to learn that in here .. i love you

eliana- i love you too be safe

the call cut .. she sat there with her thoughts .. after so many years of fighting and blaming herself for being tossed around from foster home to foster home it hit her .. sam was right it wasn't her fault but she still thought maybe it was ..

eliana: why wasn't i enough .. why didn't she love me ..

she shook the though and got up and went to the kitchen and grabbed a beer

joker: i didn't wanna bother you while you where on the call but i got dinner

she nodded and sat down

joker: whats wrong?

she took a drink and looked at him ..

eliana: when where you going to bring up that i kissed you on my birthday?

joker: you remember?

eliana: no jose told me he saw i guess .. i was waiting for you to bring it up

joker: when he tell you? fucking chismoso haha

eliana: he told me the day after why didn't you tell me though? im sorry ok

joker: i kissed you back to so its ok haha and i didn't say anything because i didn't wanna make things weird between us

eliana: i kissed you all drunk haha i mustve looked so crazy haha

joker: eli you didn't its ok im glad you know though don't stress over it

eliana: I am gonna stress that's messy haha

he sat back and smirked at her

eliana: don't look at me like that

joker: why not its cute your blushing haha

she shook her head

joker: it was nothing chill haha

his flirty smile made her feel different ..

eliana: don't lie .. you know you liked it

joker: it was so long ago i don't even remember but i do remeber that tequila taste though haha

he laughed as he got up and threw his trash away .. she got up

eliana: well im sober now

he looked at her confused

joker: why you asking now haw if you've known

eliana: because i was waiting for you to bring it up or tried again i guess

he leaned back on the counter and nodded

joker: i wanted to but i ain't that kind of guy babygirl

eliana: yea i know your not

she walked up to him and wrapped arms around his neck and kissed him .. he smiled and kissed her deeply

eliana: that's what i like about you