Eliana sat there looking at joker lost
joker: Eliana
she looked down no tears left to shed she felt lost she felt all emotions at once ..anger settled in
Eliana: what do you want me to say?
joker: i dont know? the fuck? you need to get up and be strong you dont we're all in pain? you dont think we lost him to? our Babygirl lost her other father her best friend the person she wa s used to seeing an dplaying with she needs her mothers love and hugs?
Eliana: i know she needs me but i cant fucking tell her i cant and iknow one day she'll hate me for not telling her but i rather her hate me
joker: like you hated your mother?
Eliana looked at him
Eliana: im not my mother so dont even fucking go there jose do you hear me?
joker: i know your not but you know how it feels to carry that hatred and that hurt i thought you would want better for her?
she shot up and looked him in the face
eliana: you dont think i want better for her! you dont think i wanna see her smiling and laughing!! i cant do that for her right now! yea you lost your friend a homie! but i lost the love of my life! the man that saved me when i was at my lowest and loneliest fucking pregnant dont you fucking remember!!
he stepped back she didn't eye contact
Eliana: im fucking broken im fucking lost and hurt! i wanna hug him i want him to come home!! but hes never fucking coming back hes fucking gone!! now im alone again my loves gone again!! i should've jumped off that fucking bridge when i was 15 i should've just fucking died it would've saved all this pain and hurt to everyone
she went upstairs and locked herself away .. joker stood back in disbelief
sam: hey?
he turned and took a deep breath
sam: let her be man just let her be let her go for right now we got the kids we got eachother let her just sit with it
joker: i cant .. i cant loose her to if she kills herself
sam pulled him outside
sam: im gonna tell him something but all yall need to hear this to
they looked at him
sam: shes not going to kill herself we've both tried but shit never works ill talk to her ill get yelled at but ill make sure she doesnt either so yall dont go down that hole because you know he wouldnt want this he wouldnt want any of this so get your shit straight be sad but be ready because we have shit to keep pushing you hear me?
cuete: man
hector stood up
Isaiah: no let me go talk to her ill take the yelling yall just chill out here for a bit just breath its ok
sam: Isaiah
Isaiah: itll be ok i promise hug Babygirl for me
he nodded as he went upstairs he could hear music playing in her room he went ot his duffle bag and pulled out some edibles and went to her door
Eliana: i need a minute please
Isaiah: i know i need one to i brought a snack? can i come in please?
Eliana: Isaiah
Isaiah: ok im gonna sit right here and not move and eat your favorite snack then but change the song i aint trying to think of my ex with this shit
she got up annoyed unlocked the door and he was standing htere with a half smile
Isaiah: i got some edibles? 500 gs you down?
Eliana: thats my favorite snack?
Isaiah: brownies
Eliana took them from him he followed her in and closed the door
Eliana: i dont wanna hear it dont start no im not going to kill myself i know you heard what i yelled at him
Isaiah: i know your not going to kill yourself because thats the pussy way to go dont you think
Eliana: Isaiah
Isaiah: no it is because do you think he wanted to go? no? and why would you wanna hurt your kids and us even more by leaving this world that way? but i get it i been there ive wanted to end it myself but i haven't ok so here eat a dam brownie get high as fuck and lets deal what we have to because vago deserves a proper burial dont you think?
eliana: your not wrong i cant hurt them but i dont know how im going to deal with it
Isaiah: lets just get high thats how i deal with things?
she took the brownie and ate it they chilled for a bit
she sat up
Eliana: its never going to be ok again isnt it
Isaiah: it wont for a while but we'll adjust and move like he wouldve wanted to
eliana: yall will but i dont think itll be like that for me .. where did you get these edibles?
Isaiah: i made them? dont judge me its not that hard
Eliana: im not judging you make me a couple dozen ill pay you
she got up and went ot her closest
Isaiah: wait what?
Eliana: i cant smoke as much because i have the kids but i can eat it without having to go hide here
she gave him a brick of weed
Eliana: make it stronger to can you do that?
Isaiah: you got this at your disposal? haha
Eliana: i got weed pills and powder he has stash spots around the house now come on i have to make dinner
Isaiah: ill get on it you cook ill make this into butter haha
she nodded as they went down stairs
joker: feeling better?
Eliana: nothing a good bud brownie cant fix right?
joker: bud brownie?
Eliana: ask him im gonna start on dinner wheres everyone at?
joker: there outside just hanging out you dont have to cook anything its ok?
Eliana: no i need to distract my mind ill make something get the kids together please?
he nodded as she went to the kitchen he stopped Isaiah
joker: brownies?
Isaiah: its not alcohol and it got her out of the room you can thank me late r
he shook his head
YOU ARE READING
Wanting to belong..
RandomGrowing up I always wondered what it felt like to be held, hugged, loved, and cared for what it felt like to have a real home with a mom and dad .. I always wondered ... why me? why couldn't I go home to a real family? .. all I've ever wanted was to...
