eliana watched him leave she went inside
joke: he left?
sam: work never stops .. i been slacking but they understand everyones starting to get the news
eliana: i wish i could make it all private but he had so many homies but yea he'll be back in the morning
joker: you didnt tell him to come back?
eliana: we have no room you deserve a bed the guest room can be yours
isaiah: punk and me?
chino: mijo you have to come home eventually?
isaiah: yea i know but i dont wanna leave her yet?
eliana: the nursery has a big bed in it he can sleep there or with me if you want to beds huge and i hate that its half empty
isaiah: that ok pops?
chino: yes thats ok i dont even wanna leave lets all go back to my house we'll make beds somehow haha
eliana: no i dont wanna burden you like that the doors open i wont be back to work for a bit i think
joker: back to work the fuck?
sam: you just got left a fortune?
eliana: hector said he cant loose the smarts and he aint wrong if i stop ill loose my mind its better to have a balance ya know itll do me good i wanted alexia to start daycare also so she can make friends ill still be out for a bit but i want to go back to it eventually though you get me?
joker: yea i do but when your ready though no pushing you to it
she nodded as they sat down to eat and talk
isaiah: i gave one to alex and shes chillin
eliana: i popped 2 of her anti depressants and im calm as fuck
isaiah: do you like them what do you think?
eliana: the thoughts are gone but pills used to do that to me to this just gives me the mental clarity not the numbing feeling now thats a good hit
isaiah: are you thinking of picking up pills?
eliana: naw i dont think so weed is gonna have to do i think ask me again friday
isaiah: why didnt you make it a private funeral? it would save you all the pain?
eliana: naw the pain would still be there seeing him in that casket .. but i cant make it private he had so many friends so much family i cant just say no everyone deserves to say goodbye like i am but that night though im getting extra fucked up im giving myself one night to loose it then coming back
isaiah: ill babysit for you that night dont worry i wont leave the house
she nodded
eliana: thank you ill take the offer but eventually your gonna have to go back home ya know? i cant just keep you here?
Isaiah: your not keeping me here against my will ill stay until you dont need me
Eliana:ill need you forever but i understand thank you
the night went by.. she sat in the kitchen as everyone slept..she sat in silence
Eliana: i dont know if i can do this this heartbreak might be what kills me .. you promised me it was forever you promised me you would never leave me .. i know it was anciddent and you didnt mean to go like this but i dont wanna believe that .. im angry but i dont hate you i hate the world i hate the universe i hate it all i fucking hate it all .. ill never be the same again babe all i promise though is that we'll meet again we will but till then i have the kids your name will live on forever i promise you that
she got up kissed his picture and turned the lights off and went to bed ..
hector: wake up lazy
she turned over confused hours later
Eliana: the fuck? what time is it?
hector: almost lunch get up we got business to handle
Eliana: hector please leave me the fuck alone im not in the mood today ok?
hector closed the room door and sat down on her bed
hector: everyones token care of i made sure it was all good get the fuck up we got shit to handle
Eliana looked at him confused
Eliana: what i dont get a grievance day or anything that fucking fast fucker?
hector: his ex had a dna test done kids his and more shits coming out i want this handled before the bitch rolls up to his funeral im doing my fucking all not to kill the hoe i fucking swear
Eliana: wait what?
hector: no he didn't cheat thats not how it was ok
Eliana: i know that idiot the bitch really went that far? she didn't need him to be a dad before but now yes?
hector: hhhm you know why
Eliana: fucking ass bitch let me get dressed
hector: you have 15 minutes also we have to go shopping for shit so be ready for a day we have a day to have it all under control before tomorrow
Eliana: ok
he nodded and walked out she got herself up and went to the closest and got changed and pulled out some bundles of cash and threw it in a bag she grabbed his gun and looked at it
joker: ay eli!
she put the gun in the bag and walked out eating a brownie
eliana: morning whats up?
joker: really a brownie? have you ate?
eliana: i have to go do shit that i dont wanna do or deal with so leave me alone whats up?
joker: i want you to see something
eliana looked at him confused and followed him downstairs
eliana: wheres hector?
she followed him into the kitchen
hector: say it monkey come on
jr: ma ma
he said as he reached for .. eliana froze
eliana: what? say that again?
she took him and he said it again she hugged him tight and tried not to cry
joker: i didn't want you to cry? i just wanted you to see it before we told you?
eliana: he won the fucking bet that asshole he was not wrong
she hugged her baby boy tighter and kissed him as he giggled
hector: he bet that he would say mama first?
eliana: yes but he was the favorite so i swore he would say papa or something like that and he said mama he said mama
YOU ARE READING
Wanting to belong..
De TodoGrowing up I always wondered what it felt like to be held, hugged, loved, and cared for what it felt like to have a real home with a mom and dad .. I always wondered ... why me? why couldn't I go home to a real family? .. all I've ever wanted was to...
