isaiah- i know vago would want us to be strong im gonna call chino and ask him to switch off i can drive i dont give a fuck we'll get to you guys you need us too i dont want you there alone ok
eliana- they took vago already i signed stuff im gonna see uh loko again there waking him up then we're going back ok? i need you too more than ever i love you so much Isaiah hug alex and tell her i love her and to stay calm i dont want bbaygirl to come early or anything ok? check on her please
isaiah- i got her and them dont stress it be safe we love you too sister
she ended the call and looked at the food in front of her
joker: eat come on at least take a couple bites your looking pale you faint on me i might snap and lose it or something
she picked at it and took a bite and put it aside
eliana: ill take a drink to go i hate hospital food fuck this place man ..
he nodded and got her a coke and sat down next to her and hugged her
eliana: what do i do.. how do i do it? we had so much planned we had a future how do i go home? that was his home he built it he had it all specially made for him .. our kids like what the fuck?
joker: you need to know first that you ain't alone ok? you have a whole family behind you you have the help
eliana: i know i do and i appreciate them all but what about after it all settles haw? then what im fucking scared .. why does everything i fucking love leave me? why jose why?
he looked at her confused
joker: wo wo ok calm down eli breath you have to take this day by day come on? i know its fresh and its painful im sorry ok I am but you need to stay strong?
she looked at him
eliana: everyone i love or care about leaves me .. why?
he looked around and saw people starting to look there way
he got up and helped her up
joker: come on lets go see loko
eliana: jose..
joker hugged her tight as they walked up to his room
loko was sitting up in pain but awake
doctor: he was born with a bad heart?
joker: yea and not to add some years of addiction and being shot
lokote: this dam heart wont let me fucking die .. it should've been me not him
eliana walked up to him and caressed his face
lokote: im sorry eliana im so sorry please forgive me i told him to skip this one i had the help you have to understand please
eliana: its not your fault herman its not .. look at me breath you need to calm down its not good for you breath come on jose cant loose you too i cant loose you too please ok? i need you to walk out of here i need you to come home i need you home please ok?
he grabbed her hand with tears in his eyes
lokote: it should've been me..
she shook her head and sat on the side
eliana: stop talking like that ok
lokote: i promised to protect you to do my everything i told him i would take bullets for him he was my brother too he just made me promise if anything ever happened to hold it down for you and the kids i would tell him to shut the fuck up cuz we where gonna live forever we where gonna run shit to the ground he would laugh and shake his head ..
eliana: i know those words he always said i meant to live for ever but in the mean time im gonna enjoy what i got .. i was pregnant with alexia when he told me that when he proposed i told him to never talk like that we where gonna grow old together he would joke he was already old because hes 3 years older than me .. well
joker put his hand on her shoulder
joker: you need to heal to come home alright you crazy fuck cuz if i have to bury my big homie and my brother man i dont know fuck man its like i got the call about mom all over again seeing her panic is like seeing dad lose it again
lokote: i know its hard to hear jose but it wouldve been me eli i get
eliana: i wish this wouldn't have happened i wish so much but i hugged his body kissed one last time and watched as they took him .. its our reality
her phone started to ring
eliana: its Isaiah
joker: we should go um
lokote: go im alright dont trip joker dont leave her side sleep on that dam couch you hear me?
he nodded as he walked up to him and hugged him tight
lokote: im alive ill be ok carnal
eliana: im gonna need you to cuz i might lose myself in a bit so wish him luck
lokote: yo yo dont
eliana got up and looked at him
eliana: ill tell you what i told him .. everything i love leaves me i fought hard for so long and i lost him i fucking lost myself and promised i would never do this shit again i let vago in i didnt want to look at this shit its not meant for me all i have are my babies thats all i fucking need im fucking pissed at the world the universe at everything im fucking done
sam knocked and walked in
sam: hey sorry to um interrupt but Isaiah said alexia woke up with a tummy ache i guess and is asking for you both he cant calm her down
lokote: you back for good or am i gonna have to beat your ass this time
sam: man i should've never left from the start i was lost ok
eliana: yea cuz of that bitch
sam: it affected me but her letter told me different shit made me wanna do some shit ok i thought you where better off you all where ..
eliana got up and looked at him
eliana: you where trying to kill yourself over words she fucking told you?
sam: eliana its a lot ok i haven't told a soul about it im not about to confess to shit she pushed me to a dam point i didnt do it im not going to and im sorry please ok?
she nodded and hugged him he kissed her head and hugged her
lokote: you think i can see my monkey butt in the morning?
eliana: if she feels better yea we'll be back ok? be good and dont be pinching the nurses asses i heard there gonna give you the guy ones
lokote: oo hell no shit haha
she walked up and hugged him
lokote: i love you
eliana: i love you to head up
lokote: ill try ..
they walked out and went down to the cars she held on to vagos belongings .. everything felt so surreal ..
YOU ARE READING
Wanting to belong..
RastgeleGrowing up I always wondered what it felt like to be held, hugged, loved, and cared for what it felt like to have a real home with a mom and dad .. I always wondered ... why me? why couldn't I go home to a real family? .. all I've ever wanted was to...
