The five of you had just re-entered Hell after killing rapist Michael Gateway. Blitzo was going on about how "Verosika has one less human to give HPV to" while Moxxie and Millie had run off to have "Post-mission sex".
Y/N: She totally pegs him, doesn't she?
Loona: No question about it.
Verosika exits her recording booth and notices you back in your Dog demon form.
Verosika:
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If it isn't my favorite puppy. How's it going, handsome?
She presses her chest against you. Loona pulls you closer to her.
Loona: He's fine.
Verosika pulls you closer to her.
Verosika: Wasn't talking to you.
You only had a 0-0 look on your face as you caught in a tug of war between these two.
Y/N: Uh, is this really necessary?
Loona: I'm just trying to protect you from some succubitch who's only interested in stealing your soul.
Verosika: He's already in Hell. The least I could do is show Y/N a good time.
Verosika winks at you and snakes one of her arms around your neck. Loona growls and puts her arm around your waist.
Loona: You're not the only who knows how to fuck.
Verosika: Oh, please. You have Syphilis!
Loona: *Had* Syphilis!
They failed to notice that you had snuck off during their argument and had made a beeline to IMP's office. You were panting heavily while Blitzo looked at you with a bored expression while M&M where readjusting their clothing.
Blitzo: Have a good wank session?
Y/N: Huh?!
Blitzo: Why else would you be panting so heavily?
Y/N: If you must know, Loona and Verosika were fighting over me.
Blitzo: Did Loonie get some good hits in?
Y/N: No, it wasn't a physical fight. It was who would be better at...(blushing) fucking me.
Blitzo: Well, if Loonie was gonna have sex with anyone, I'd prefer she have it with you over that Tex guy.
Millie: By the way, Blitzo, you never answered what sex with Verosika was like.
Blitzo: And I never will. Y/N, here's your new target.
He hands you a photo of a smiling man standing in front of a children's hospital.
Blitzo: Joshua Leslie. He's some sort of Philanthropist.
