Under the Influence

Him or Me

Shawnie's POV

After my conversation with Dr. Jordan, I tried to contact Chris. They said he wasn't accepting any calls for the rest of the night. That was annoying. I've been waiting for him to call me today, but that hasn't happened yet.

I needed an in-person session, so I flew Dr. Washington out to Chicago. She rented a suite in the hotel for us to stay in. I walked down to the room and knocked on the door. She answered quickly.

"Look at you! You're showing!" She says, grinning from ear to ear, then went in for a hug.

"Yeah, and I'm eating a lot more too." I laugh.

She puts her hand on my stomach. "Do you know what you're having yet?"

"No, I'm going to wait and see what Chris says about finding out," I say

"Keeping him a part of the process, that's good." I walk in, and she closes the door behind me, and we walk into the living room. She takes a seat on the sofa, and I sit down across from her on the loveseat. I set my phone on the coffee table.

"So let's get right down to it. I know you're in a good space, and this might piss you off a bit, but this needs to be done for you to move forward, to have a better future... with Mr. Brown."

"What?" I say nervously.

"I took it upon myself to get in contact with Mr. Graham..."

"Um, what?" I say, instantly pissed off.

"I've been trying to get you to sit down with him for as long as I can remember."

"Yeah, but I didn't think it was a good idea, and I still don't."

"I know you don't, but this is very crucial to your future. As I've always said, I think you should really talk to him. Understanding each other can help you guys move forward, whether that's being together or apart." She says

"I didn't think it was a good idea because I wanted to respect my relationship. Seriously? I just got him off my back, and he's not bothering me, now you tell me that you called him to sit down in therapy with me. I just sat down in therapy with Chris. What do you think he's going to say about this? He's going to fuck everybody up, including me, and I didn't have anything to do with this." I snap

"Well...you can blame everything on me. I've informed him of a few rules, and he won't cross any lines. You have my word on that. Now is your chance to ask him anything you want. Regardless of whether you see it or not, you need this. Chris isn't here, and you can be as open and honest with him as you need to be, and so can he. This is a safe place. You know that. Just trust me on this, Shawnie."

I don't think this is a good idea, but I do trust her, and maybe she's right. Maybe I need this. There are many unanswered questions I would like to know. Like, why me out of everyone?

"Fine, if you say this is going to help me.... whatever." I say, "Is he here? God, I hope not."

"He is here," she says with a smile. "But I set him up in another room if you don't feel comfortable with him being in the same room as you."

"I can't believe you did all of this. Let's get this over with."

"Are you telling me he can come in?"

"Yes, it's okay." I almost regretted it the moment I said it.

She grabs her cell phone, and not even 30 seconds later, Aubrey walks in. I didn't know what to think, so I just tried to shut off my brain for a minute.