Under The Influence

Gravity

Shawnie's POV

Chris and I were in the bedroom arguing for the 3rd time this week. I don't know what's going on with us. I hate this and I'm tired of it.

"You've been staying out all night for the past week. What the fuck!" I say, pissed off as hell.

"I go out and I stay out because I want to be away from you." He says

"But what did I do to make you not want to be around me?" I say getting a little misty eyed. That comment hurt my feelings.

"Shawnie...leave me alone." He says

"Is this about Aeko? I'm only trying to help you when it comes to that. I'm doing what you asked me to do. I don't understand." I say

"Just shut up."

"I won't allow you to keep acting this way towards me. I didn't do anything to you." I walk over and pick up Genesis.

"Nah. Put my daughter down. She's staying right here." He takes her out of my arms and lays her back down in the bassinet.

"Chris—

"NO! GET OUT OF HERE!!!" He yells in my face. 

I don't do anything, I don't say anything, I just leave the bedroom. I don't want this to escalate.

"Are you okay?" My cousin asks, watching me walk down the stairs.

"Yeah, I will be." I say, whipping tears from my face. I sit down on the sofa. "I'm sorry you had to hear that."

"It's okay." She makes a sad face.

I'm defeated. Chris and I have been at this for a few weeks. My daughter has only been on this earth for two months and we can't keep it together. Everything was all good up until a week after she was born. We started having fights here and there, about the littlest, dumbest things. And I'm not even going to get started on how he flipped out on me just now. I want to say all of this bullshit started the night that we went out but it didn't. It's been an ongoing issue for a few weeks now. I'm tired and I'm at my wits end.

"I'm trying so hard." I burst out in tears, covering my face."He says things to hurt me and he does it on purpose. He doesn't even apologize for anything that he says to me. I try so hard to look past everything, because I just want to keep the peace but it's starting to eat away at me. I don't know how much longer I can take this."

"Aw baby...I'm so sorry. I heard some of the things that he was saying to you and I don't think you should have to deal with that. Especially not right now. You have a newborn to take care of and it's not right that you have to deal with all of that."

"I've been trying to explain that to him but he just doesn't understand. He thinks I'm using it as an excuse for whatever reason. I'm so messed up about this shit...." I cry harder, then my phone dings in my hand.

I looked down at my phone to answer the text message. I see my cousin looking at me out the corner of my eye, but I don't say anything, I just continue responding to this text message.

"Who is that?" She asks.

"Aubrey texted me." I say

"You're talking to him again?"

"I haven't been." I answer

"But you are now?"

"Yeah." I sigh, "Please...." I look at her and she shuts up. "He's in town....not for me, but it just happened this way." I say but I know she isn't buying it. I need to be honest with her. ".... But after I found out he was here, I did text him....because I wanted to see him...I need to talk to him."