Under the Influence

Nowhere

Chris's POV

I'm on my tour bus going to the next city. It's been a couple of weeks since I last spoke to Shawnie. I'm in the back, in my bedroom, and a few of my boys are up front partying. I haven't been in the mood to do anything. I don't want to have fun, I don't want to do any drugs or drink, even though that's what I need to do, because I don't want to think about her. I don't feel I should have left, but I knew I had to. I have to work, and I definitely can't cancel some dates on my tour because of this situation. I want to go home and fix my relationship.

Why couldn't we get it together? That's the question on my mind, and that's what I don't get. She wouldn't even talk to me, she wouldn't even look at me. The only conversation we had before I left was when she told me we weren't ready to be as committed to each other as we wanted to be. What she said was true, but I don't like it. I know what I've been trying to do while we were together, and I wanted to be with her. I need her to understand that because she thinks the opposite.

Since Shawnie and I broke up, I've been on the road, and I'm just not feeling any of this right now. I want to talk to her, and she won't answer any of my calls or texts. I've been trying to contact her since we had that fight. I feel so bad that I went off the way I did, and I feel even worse that I hung up on her. I didn't even give her a chance to say anything, and now, I've been hearing rumors about her and Drake again. All I can do is hope and pray that nothing is going on between them. I know she's not like that. She wouldn't get involved with someone else after a couple of weeks of us being broken up. At least I hope not, because if he's around her, I'm going to kill him. I swear I will.

*****

Shawnie's POV

It had been about a month and a half since Chris and I broke up, and a few weeks since we actually spoke. At first, I thought I'd feel the urge to call him, to talk to him, to at least hear his voice and see how he was doing...But I didn't. For so long, he had been the first person I wanted to run to, no matter what. But now, nothing.

That didn't mean he wasn't trying, though. He had been calling. At first, it was nonstop—back-to-back calls, texts, voicemails. My phone would light up with his name so much that I ended up turning it off so that I wouldn't have to see it. But over time, it slowed down. The calls got less frequent. The texts stopped coming as much, and somehow that felt worse. Like he was finally starting to let it go. I still didn't answer. Not once. Especially with everything going on.

There had been so many rumors lately—my name tied to Drake's again, stories saying something was going on.

It looked bad, and I knew if I talked to Chris, that's exactly where the conversation would go. Accusations and arguments. More damage. So I avoided it altogether.

Sometimes I'd catch myself staring at his name when he called, my thumb hovering over the screen, debating for a split second, then I'd lock my phone and set it down.

"Not today," I whispered to myself once, shaking my head.

I couldn't bring myself to speak to him. I tried not to think about him, but that didn't mean he wasn't on my mind. It was just different now. And it was hard.

Now and then, I'd wonder what he was doing, who he was around, and then I'd shut it down just as fast.

"Not your problem anymore." I'd say

He crossed my mind more than I wanted to admit, and I hated that part the most.

*

I was at home when the doorbell rang.

I didn't even have to check the camera to know it was Aubrey. He lives about twenty minutes from me in Hidden Hills, and he'd been talking about wanting to see my place ever since I moved in.