Under the Influence

Deuces

Shawnie's POV

"Is it out of your system now?"

It's dark as hell in here, and Chris just appeared behind me. I didn't hear or see anything. What the hell is wrong with him?

After I scream a little from him scaring me half to death, and then after I calm down a little, I respond to him.

"Chris, you scared the shit out of me. Where did you come from? Why are you just roaming around in the dark? Turn on the lights." Now I'm slightly pissed off because he scared the shit out of me.

"I said, is it out of your system?" He asks again.

"Is what out of my system?" I'm a little confused. What the hell is he talking about?

"You seeing that mothafucker?" He says, and my heart kinda drops. I guess he did know, and there is absolutely no reason to try to clean this up. I did it.

"Oh, you noticed I was gone?" I say, sarcastically. "Don't act as if you care now."

"The fuck? You thought I wouldn't notice that you were sneaking out of the house? The penthouse that I rented out for you."

"First of all, I'm not sneaking anywhere. I'm a grown-ass woman. The fuck do I need to sneak out for? Secondly, what does renting out this penthouse have to do with anything? Chris—."

He cuts me off, "You went behind my back, after all of what we went through..."

"After all that we've been through?" I repeat. I am in complete shock. Is he serious? "How can you go behind my back all those times? Now I try to forget all of that, but the pain is still there. You can't say that to me. You can't even talk to me like a normal fucking human being, after all we've been through." I mock him. "Fuck outta here..."

I don't believe this man actually just said that to me. I guess he just forgot everything that he's done to me over the years.

"So you think it's okay to make plans to go be with him, to fuck him?" He says, sounding somewhat emotional. "I thought we were better than that."

I shake my head, "You're really going this route with this, huh?" I say, "You stood up there, eavesdropping on my conversation with my cousin. You listened to probably everything that was said. You let me leave the house. Let me do whatever it is that you were thinking I did, for as long as I did. You waited, and waited, probably staring at the door, in the dark, for me to finally come home.... That's another level of psycho."

He just stood there, looking at me. It was dark, but I knew he was staring directly at me. That comment probably hurt his feelings, or not, I don't know anymore. He probably likes it.

"And no, I'm not better than that. You taught me to be like this. You act like you don't care. Well, now, after you've been treating me like shit since I've had your baby, I don't either. Crazy ass..." I take a couple of steps towards the stairs, but I stop in my tracks when I hear him.

Out of nowhere, he starts crying. I could hear it; then, when he spoke, I could hear it in his voice. "But how can you do it with Drake? I know you cheated on me, I know you did...."

"Wow, really? Cheated? No—Chris, stop it." I look at him like he's crazy. I'm not for this guilt trip, bullshit he's about to pull.

"NO YOU STOP." He yells. I knew he was faking that shit. This is a new low for him.

"NO YOU STOP!!" I yell back, "This is stupid. And shut up before you wake up Mercedes and the baby." I say, "What's your problem? You're trying to manipulate me into feeling bad? Fake crying? Do you want me or not? You forgot I had a life before you, outside of you. You're not my world; you've pushed that away. When I finally go, and I live that life, you freak out. I have to get out of here because you're being...I don't know, psychotic. You act like you don't want me around, then you do, I can't take it. You're not giving me any attention, so what the fuck am I supposed to do? Just sit here and be ignored all day and night? No. So again, do you want me or not? I'm not gonna stay where I'm clearly not wanted. There are only so many ways you can tell me that you don't want me. I understand now. You can't get upset with that."