Under the Influence

X

Shawnie's POV

I just stay there for a few seconds, staring at the ground, my mind not catching up to what just happened.

Did he really just hit me?

My face is burning. My ears are ringing. Everything feels distant, like I'm not fully in my body.

I slowly look over at him. He's pacing.

I press my hand against my cheek as I push myself up to my feet, unsteady.

"I can't believe you just did that," I whisper, my eyes dropping back to the floor.

He doesn't respond. Doesn't even look at me. Just keeps pacing like nothing happened.

"Chris?" I say.

Nothing.

"CHRIS!" I yell, snapping him out of whatever state he was in.

He snaps.

In seconds, he's in front of me, grabbing my arms hard.

"YOU MADE ME DO IT! YOU MADE ME DO IT!" he yells, shaking me. "I DID EVERYTHING FOR YOU...YOU GOT PREGNANT...THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY BABY! YOU'RE MINE!"

His voice cracks.

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to—I didn't want to—but you made me—"

My heart is racing so fast it hurts. He's shaking me, yelling, pulling me. I can't keep up.

"CHRIS!" I scream, trying to get him to stop. "LET ME GO!"

"I DID EVERYTHING FOR YOU! I WANTED TO TAKE CARE OF YOU!! ALL I WANTED YOU TO DO WAS BE THERE FOR ME. YOU COULDN'T DO THAT....."

He pushes me back, and away from him. I stumble backwards and fall back onto the ground. He looks at me, then aggressively walks over to me. I try to get up but he pushes me back down. I sit up on my hands and knees to try to stand up, but I see him move in a way where he's about to do something else to me. Hit me, kick me, I don't know what was about to happen. I had to try to stop him, but the only thing I could do was to curl up in a ball, on the floor.

"I'M PREGNANT! I'M PREGNANT! I'M PREGNANT!" I scream, my voice breaking. I'm crying, hoping, and praying it'll make him stop from doing whatever he was about to do.

"What...?" he breathes then freezes.

For a second, he just stands there, staring at me like he didn't hear me right.

"Wh—what did you say?"

I slowly lower my hands, still shaking.

"I'm pregnant, Chris."

Silence.

He runs his hands over his head, pacing once, then again, like he doesn't know what to do with himself.

"You're... pregnant?" he says again, quieter this time.

"Yes."

Another pause.

"...Oh my God." He says

He exhales hard, then walks toward me, slower, like he's unsure.

He helps me up, carefully. Leads me to the table. Sits me down.

Then kneels in front of me.

"I'm sorry," he says, his voice low. "I'm sorry, baby."

He wipes my tears. Fixes my clothes and hair.

"I'm so sorry, baby." He rubs my cheek and lightly kisses it. "I'm sorry."

I don't respond right away. I'm still trying to process what just happened.