Under the Influence

Can I

Shawnie's POV

"You look so beautiful pregnant, Mami," Aubrey says, slowly rubbing my belly. I glanced up at him in the mirror in front of us. We were sitting in the bathtub. He was behind me, and I had my head resting against him, with my eyes closed. I was enjoying the vibe of it all.

"Why do you call me Mami? Where did that come from?" I ask

"I don't know. I just called you that one day, and it just stuck with me." He replies, "Why?"

"No reason. I was just curious..."

I asked because Aubrey isn't the first person to call me that, and it is something that drew me to him. I hadn't heard it in years, and it was a name I loved. It was a name that, when I heard it, made me feel loved. And I loved who it was coming from.

"I love you, do you know that?" Aubrey says, breaking into my thoughts, kissing my shoulder, and talking in my ear.

"Yes, I know you do. I mean, come on, you married me without a prenup." I say laughing.

"That's how much I love you." He says seriously, "Anything that's mine, you can have. I can't prove my love to you any other way." He says, now kissing my neck.

"You can prove how much you love me in any way you want," I say, smiling, eyes still closed.

"I know you don't care about my money, but I'm still going to give you access to my millions. Do you love me, Mami?" He asks

I nod my head, "You know I do. I wouldn't have blown my life up for you. I wouldn't be taking all of this bullshit from everyone." I say.

"And I'm going to continue to shield you from that. I hate that people talk about you the way they do. I know it bothers you, but you take that shit, but I'm going to protect you in every way that I can." He says, still rubbing on me.

"I'm going to do the same. I don't need people to understand why I did what I did. I know that I'm happy with you and this is where I want to be." I say

"You don't have to explain yourself. Let them talk. They don't know us personally. Fuck them." He says

"I know. I was taught not to talk to them, which is alright, but that still doesn't help any situation. I have learned through you that it's okay to say something now and then just to shut them up."

"Pretty much..."

I don't say anything else, I sit there thinking about my life over the past few years. I went from being nobody to being in two high-profile relationships. I was just a lawyer in Chicago, minding my business and just trying to make a name for myself. Now, fast-forward to almost 4 years later, and I am someone many people know. My social media has gone from a couple of thousand followers to over 1.4 million. This shit is so crazy to me, and it was a huge adjustment; I'm still adjusting. I'm grateful to Chris for the start of all this exposure, because honestly, I wouldn't have been able to do it without him. He taught me a way to deal with all of this that works for him. I'm not gonna say it didn't necessarily work for me, but I came out on the side of that relationship being portrayed as someone who wasn't talking. And I talked a lot. I was mute about the media because of who I was with. Chris is very secretive, and there's nothing wrong with that; he has the right to want to protect his privacy as well as Aubrey's. I followed his lead on that because that's what he wanted.

Aubrey taught me to be confident in who I am and acknowledge the success that I have now. He says it's okay to express my feelings and make a comment here and there. People are going to have something to say, negative or positive, about anything that you do. Aubrey has helped me find a level of confidence I know I lacked. Things the media says still bother me a little bit, but I like that he shields me from certain things and instills in me the need to live my life and stop worrying so much. They're going to talk regardless.