Under the Influence

Actin like this

Shawnie's POV

It was now Sunday evening, and I was supposed to be on a flight back home tonight. Chris and I had fun this weekend, but now it was time for me to get back to my reality and my boring life. It was fun while it lasted.

We were still lying in his bed talking. He was lying next to me, sideways with his head on my stomach, smoking a blunt, and I was on my phone checking emails from work.

Looking up at me, "You should stay a little longer."

"I have work in the morning. You've kept me locked up in your room for long enough." I say laughing.

"You're with me now, you don't need to work." He says.

"I'm not quitting my job, and I'm not with you, and even if I were with you, I wouldn't stop working," I say

He smacks his teeth, "Why are you playing with me, Shawnie?"

"I'm not playing, I have to leave," I say, serious and straight-faced.

He turns over on his stomach, places himself between my legs, "You not gonna stay with me?" He looks me in my eyes.

I shake my head no.

"You for real?" He asks as he slides his dick inside of me. "Stay with me a little longer, baby." He says going deeper.

I don't say anything, I drop my phone and put my arms around his neck. I enjoyed it for a few seconds, until he stopped.

"Stay with me, I still have some time off." He says, looking in my eyes.

I roll my eyes, "I can't."

He started going slow, and after a few minutes, I was trying to talk through my moans, but it was so good, and he kept hitting that spot. "I have to go to work, Chris. This isn't going to work."

"Call off tomorrow. Just stay one more day. I know you got vacation time..." He says, then starts kissing my neck, "You got me over her beggin and shit." He smiles as he looks up at me.

He stops, then hits his blunt, "Why you got me actin like this?"

I don't say anything, I get into it, and we continue having sex. I can't again, and I was coming down off my high. When we were done, Chris got up without a word and went to take a shower.

"This weekend has been fun," I shouted before he closed the bathroom door behind him.

I sat there for a minute. This was fun, but I couldn't hide from my problems forever. Having a little "thing" with Chris Brown was a nice distraction. I would've never guessed this would happen to me, but thanks to Cassidy, it did.

I don't know what Chris wants from me. I thought this was just a sex thing, and when this weekend was over, I'd never see him again, but he wanted to extend my stay. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but it was a little confusing. He had girls lined up to be with him, and it seemed like he had settled on me. The emotionally damaged and insecure me. What was it about me?

I was the reason my last relationship failed. My boyfriend cheated on me multiple times, and I became a crazy person. I got super insecure, and I couldn't trust him anymore. I can't trust anyone to save my life. Chris didn't have time to address my insecurities or ease my mind when I had a million questions. It was best we kept it physical or nothing at all, and even the physical part is dangerous. I know I'll catch feelings for him because I'm so fucked right now. I think being with Chris is only going to make things worse. Being with or messing around with someone like him, someone who is around women 98% of the time, I'm gonna lose it and go crazy. I can't do this, I don't want to do this......but he's just so damn cute and persuasive. Fuck it.

He came back out of the bathroom and lay next to me, "One more day, please. I'm really having fun with you, Shawnie. I'm not ready for you to leave."

I look at him and smile, "Okay, but only tomorrow."

He smiles, "That's all I wanted."

We relaxed for the rest of the day and just talked. I told him about my most recent relationship and everything that I've been through the last couple of months. And explained that's why I am how I am. He asked, I didn't want to tell him anything because it would make me more vulnerable than I already was, and I didn't want him to feel sorry for me or think I wanted anything from him. Still, Chris was very understanding of my situation and felt it was his mission to make me forget about my ex. Did he really wanna go there with me?

He now knew my life story, all of it. Even the things I didn't want to tell him, I felt comfortable talking to him, and he gave me all of his attention. I felt special.

He also told me a lot. I had a better understanding of who he was. Chris wasn't a bad guy; he was misunderstood. All he wanted to do was make music and have fun doing it. He hated the media and what they'd done to his image, and to be honest, I didn't see the guy they said he was. He just wanted to live his life without everyone taking pictures all the time. He touched on the situations with his exes, but we didn't really get into them.

I believe what he says about them, though. They were the two loves of his life, and they left him when he needed them the most. I felt bad for him. Chris was only trying to do the right thing, and the Karrueche breakup killed him.

I always thought Chris was this arrogant asshole, who was always drugged up, partied all day and night, fucking women, always high, rich kid type, and didn't give a fuck about anything or anyone but himself...well, a couple of those things are true. Still, it's not as bad as everyone thinks, nor is he the asshole I thought he was. Chris was very laid back, kind, very silly, caring, and protective. Sometimes intense, but that's another story. He kept a smile on his face this whole weekend, and the only drug I've seen him do was smoke a little weed. I believe that if you push him, he can be extremely mean, and that's the Chris everyone mostly sees, not the Chris I've gotten to know these past few days. I've gotten to know the real Chris Brown.

The next day was just like Saturday and Sunday, we stayed in and just hung out with each other. We talked more, laughed, joked with one another, and he also sang to me. By the end of my trip, I had really come to like Chris, and we had an understanding. I wasn't trying to get into anything; I just wanted a distraction, and he said he was happy to give it to me.

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