Corpse Husband One-shots

You Call It A Mess, We Call It Baking*

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Author: https://thefanficmonster.tumblr.com/

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Tons of fluff

Summary: A friendly argument via Discord leads to a baking session. Said baking session leads to a kitchen looking like it was the victim of a tornado. The lesson here is: don't leave Corpse and Y/N in the kitchen together.

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Corpse's POV

I've been sitting in a Discord call with Y/N for about three years now, keeping her company as she's editing some footage Sean sent her earlier. In the meantime, I'm reviewing the recently submitted stories by my viewers, reading some lines I find funny or downright terrifying to her.

"When I went in the kitchen to check on the cake, it was already out of the oven, a sticky note next to it on the counter that read: 'smells nice'. My blood ran cold." I read the eerie sentence that is suggesting one of my most frightening scenarios - a stalker getting inside your house. I get chills just imagining what was probably going on in the sender's head when they saw that.

"Jeez, it's been so long since I've cooked something other than omelet." I hear Y/N reply absentmindedly, completely neglecting the fear factor of what's going on in the story.

"Good job missing the point." I chuckle, my eyes continuing to scan the email until my brain actually comprehends what she said, "Wait, you mean to tell me you have baked anything ever?! No offense, Y/N, but I was honestly doubting your ability to make an omelet as well. In all the years we've been friends I can't remember you ever not saying 'I hade takeout' when I asked you what you had for dinner."

The scoff that comes through my headphones is the most adorable thing ever. She's one to easily take a joke and never get offended by anything, but I know how heated she can get with her sarcasm. If I'm being honest, I'm always here for it.

"There are many things you don't know about me, Corpsy. A girl's gotta have some aces up her sleeve." I can just imagine the narrowing of here eyes and the tilting of her head as she says that. She has a very specific way of expressing her thoughts. When we first met I accidentally made the comparison to one of those children's books that have pictures, stories and small buttons for audio. That comparison has stuck with me and I look back at it very often. To fully catch her point, you don't just listen to her. No, no, no. You focus on every change in her face and body. The way she looks away during certain parts of her speech, the way her voice plays with several different tones at once. Her posture while speaking. Just like those books - you don't just listen to the audio, you look at the pictures and read the text.

"Well you know how much I like playing poker, why don't you come over and throw those aces down." The last thing you should ever give Y/N is a challenge. She won't only homerun it, but will never let you forget it either. When we met she was a girl with self esteem in the negatives, so seeing her brag about her achievements to me always brings me joy.

The details I've listed are pretty in-depth, aren't they? That's because I don't want to let anything slip when it comes to her. This realization hit me early in our friendship and it was only like two years in that I finally connected the dots - this investment in her of mine was not simple nor platonic. Come to think of it, I reckon it never was.

"No way, I'm not changing out of my pajamas just to come to your house." She laughs, once again making me picture her full body reaction to her statement.

I smirk, knowing I'm about to bring out my main weapon, "Oh come on, I've seen you in pajamas countless times. You can just admit you don't wanna embarrass yourself. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone."