Corpse Husband One-shots

Stalker Alert *

Author: https://thefanficmonster.tumblr.com/

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Fluff

----------

I smile to myself as I read the comments on the latest post I've made on Instagram with the caption:
'Y'all are really out here simping for the messiest man in the world'

The picture I've posted is of the kitchen sink which is still the living place of the plates and utensils we used during dinner a week ago maybe. Not to mention the mugs with coffee stains and glasses, cereal bowls, etc.

The comments are honestly a blast to read, each one showing the confusion of the commenter:

~ Wait what how?

I don't know if they mean HOW as in how could Corpse be so messy or HOW as in how I, a fan running a fan account would know this information.

~ Is Corpse straight up running a fanacc for himself lol smh

Close to the point actually - he gave me the idea of starting this account, more like a social experiment than anything else. Secretly though, I was looking forward to using it to show my appreciation and love for him much like everyone else but with my signature touch. I basically post what Corpse's fans would describe as 'odd' Corpse related content, considering I get them in a state of confusion with each post. Of course, all my content is never-before-seen stuff that I capture as I go about my day, every post showing off a side of him that's not too known on the Internet while simultaneously providing him the amount of privacy he'd like to maintain.
Some people think it's Corpse, other think it's someone pretending to be him or pretending to be someone close to him and I love it. I love the mystery surrounding me and my account. Makes me feel like that ominous character in every crime novel everyone finds suspicious.

~ Yo Corpse follows this acc omg

I told him not to follow the account, warning him it'd be sus if he did but he refused to listen and did regardless. He even has notifications on for fuck's sake. He said he doesn't want to miss a single post and it honestly melted me.

~ This dude cappin wtf salker alert

Ah yes, the classic stalker accusation. I get at least ten under each post. I have addressed them in the past, pointing out I've got better things to do than be a second shadow to some person. Guess not everyone thinks I have a life huh? Not that it bothers me or anything. It cracks me up, in fact.

~ He still owns my heart, mess and all

Then there are these wholesome comments, the ones that fill me with joy and remind me of how lucky I am to be near such amazing people both through Corpse and through this account. Corpse deserves all the best and these people are it - they are THE BEST. My heart does little somersaults every time I see comments of this type - they give me a serotonin boost almost as big as the one my boyfriend gives me. The dummy is a serotonin powerhouse for me, I swear.

To think that none of this would've happened if I didn't have a mental breakdown in front of some oranges at a grocery store...

Yes, a mental breakdown. Yes, in front of oranges.

Ok kiddos, story time with Y/N: The year was...eight months ago. The asshole I was dating at the time and I were in a pretty nice, casual and overall decent relationship. Or that's what I thought. What a fucking illusion that was.

One day, I remember it was quite a nice and sunny day, I went to the corner store to grab some stuff. I was in the middle of picking the last of the good oranges when my friends called me. My girls told me the most shocking of news - in retrospect, it shouldn't have been shocking at all, I should've seen it coming - that they caught my then-boyfriend and then-roommate who I was only a mere acquaintance with making out behind our apartment complex.

The fucker was caught red handed, a fish in a frying pan basically. One of my friends, who was also my other roommate at the time took a picture and sent it to me. While I did manage to hold my emotional strings together during the call, they all snapped when I saw the picture. Yes, I started fucking crying in the middle of a grocery store, in front of the oranges stand, failing to notice the dark haired guy standing next to me.

I was so deep in my self-pity I barely heard him addressing me, "I know how it is. Oranges get me emotional sometimes too."

My mind was going haywire, almost like when I'm burnt out. It was spazzy and uncoordinated, so much so to the point where I managed to go from sobbing to laughing at what the guy had said in just a second.

"Oh I wish..." I lifted my phone, facing the screen towards him, the picture on display, "That's my boyfriend and that's my roommate so the oranges are not to blame here."

"Fuck..." he said, running a hand through his hair, allowing the many rings that decorated his fingers to capture the ceiling lights. He let out a frustrated sigh, mirroring my aggravation. "You wanna egg his house or something?"

Listen, I've never been the type to get revenge on those who wrong me, nor have I ever participated in vandalism, littering or destroying private and public property alike, but that was an offer I couldn't refuse.

Still till this very day Corpse and I still bicker on weather we can consider egging my ex's house and car a first date or not. He says it is and I usually let him win despite the two of us being absolute strangers at that point. No cap, I asked him his name only AFTER we were done being delinquents.

"Hey." Corpse's voice putting an end to the silence shakes me from my trip down memory lane, attracting my gaze to the doorway where he's standing. He's wearing his merch hoodie and the black sweatpants he usually wears at home, "How's the new post?"

"Almost a thousand likes and ONLY twelve comments calling me a stalker, so I'd say it's doing well." I reply with a grin. "You ready for the shoot?"

I asked Corpse if he'd be cool to pose for a full body pic, from the neck down only, obviously with his merch for my fan account. I was deadass surprised by how quickly, easily and enthusiastically he accepted.

"Born ready." He says, straightening his posture and taking a step to the side so there's only the plain white wall behind him.

"Wait!" I suddenly get an idea - a GOLDEN one - and dash out of the room, leaving a baffled looking Corpse standing there with a raised eyebrow.

It doesn't take me long to find what I'm looking for and run back to find him in the same position I left him in. "Ok, lean down." I instruct him, waving one of my chokers, one with a metal heart to be exact, in front of his face.

He laughs but obliges, bending down enough to cancel the height difference between us, "You're unbelievable."

A small sense of pride spreads through me, warming my cheeks, "My superpower is in the details, Corpsie."

"I thought it was in your impeccable aim when throwing eggs." He narrows his eyes at me teasingly.

I roll mine, "Less talking, more posing." I command as I step away from him and retreat my phone from the couch where I left it.

One of his hands goes up to the collar of his hoodie, pulling it down slightly as to attract more attention to the choker. I suppress laughter as I snap a few pics, adding the sparkling filter on them.

"What do you think I should caption it?" I ask him, catching him as he's admiring the way he's pulling off my choker in the front camera of his phone. He snaps out of it when he notices I'm looking - with the slyest smile I can pull off, might I add.

"How about 'Stalker alert' with several exclamation marks." He shrugs, giving me this clueless look.

I shake my head, "Nah, I'll use that when I post a pic of you sleeping."

This cracks him up again, earning me the sound of his adorable laughter that automatically gets me to join him.

I end up captioning the pic...

"Isn't he just the CUTEST when he smiles like that aghhh 🥺😫😍"

... as a jab to those who still call me a stalker. A polite middle finger, if you ask me.