Results Of A Decade Attraction • Moon Taeil

15

My heartbeat speeds up to the vibration of the phone in my hands. Although my eyes are glued to the screen, every message passing is unseen in my state of shock. How could Taeyong do this? No. What he is doing is sick and wrong and immoral and no one in their right mind would do this. The disgusting comments made by his friends is equally wrong. Everything about this entire incident is wrong and humiliating.

"Y/N, are you crying?" Kun asks in a groggy voice.

My breathing becomes heavy when I wrap my head around the situation. This guy, Taeyong, sent my nudes to a group of boys who now know that I am Kun's wife... the wife who sent nudes to a bastard.

I stand up, dropping the device on the bed as I rush to the bathroom. Locking the door behind me, because I know he chased after me, I back up to the other corner of the room. I lean against the wall and hyperventilate as Kun knocks on the door. I sink to the floor with my face hidden in my hands, waiting for the knocking to stop.

"Y/N let me in. What's wrong?" he asks worriedly.

Pounding my head against my hands over and over and over with a tear stained face, I ignore him. His voice becomes louder and louder every time I block it out with my cries. His concern turns into annoyance when he starts telling me to stop acting like a child and let him in. Kun's knocking on the door pulls a cord in my memory, a moment between Taeyong and I.

Taeyong told me not to trust him in one of our chats. He told me that he broke up with his previous girlfriend because she trusted him too much even after he told her not to trust him. I was so in love with the idea of him, that I hadn't taken a moment to rethink his words over and over as a warning to myself. His true deceitful nature wasn't hidden, instead I was blind.

"Kun," my cries hitch in my throat at the sound of Dong Si Cheng and Xiao De Jun's voice. Goodness... Dong Si Cheng saw it too! He wasn't removed! He has the picture! Whatever they say to Kun or whatever they show him makes him stop knocking on the door.

Will he hate me...? That should be the least of my problems right now. The real question is, did they show him my nudes?

The tears slide down my cheeks rapidly, one after the other. The emotions mixing well with different feelings. I don't know which emotion conquers my heart greater than the other. Is it the feeling of being betrayed by my decision to trust Taeyong or the aftermath of the reckless decision? Even if I feel that this incident is impacting me more than anyone else, I must not forget that Kun is my future husband and that whatever is related to me befalls him too... and Taeil too.

We may be apart and are not bonded deeply with one another, but his reaction towards the situation reflected his inner feelings. He knows that I exist. That is enough for me... so him doing something about Taeyong's post in the group gets me deeply.

As for Kun, he is a business man, a well known and famous business man. If the pictures of me trend or the stickers that the Jaehyun guy said he'd make go around because the Ten guy also made it trend, Kun's image will be ruined. It breaks my heart by simply thinking of the outcome. But nothing can compare to the overwhelming feeling. Kun isn't hitting the door anymore, for the past few minutes now. Nevertheless I find it impossible to maintain the tears and sobs. It feels like a challenge.

"Y/N," Kun calls lowly by the door.

I do not answer, afraid to hear anything else he wants to say. However, to my surprise, he does not say anything else. Leaving me to cry.

Hours later, about two, after I cried and took a few moments to recollect myself, I prepare for the next thing that may happen after I open the door. So I slowly slide the door to the side and step out into the dark room then close it behind me. When I look around I spot Kun sitting on the bed with his back facing me. I take a step forward hoping to be as silent as possible, but his head whips around almost immediately after my foot touches the ground.

"Is this you?" he asks with his phone directed at me, displaying the picture. I don't even have to look long enough to know what picture it is. Though I wonder if he had spent the past two hours staring at it.

I gulp down the shrieking in my throat then say, "I can explain."

"Y/N," He says, turning his phone off, "Do you want to know why I bought that gift for you? Someone who was once the reason I lived told me that I shouldn't hate you and I should give our relationship a chance. She said I shouldn't judge you just because I will never love you... instead she told me to love you and promise to never judge you. In the car when I apologised, gave you the gift, turned the seat warmer on, gave you my jacket- those were all the things I did to that lady of my life. Through that I got to see her nature... her way of living, which was identical to yours. When I did all those things for you, it left me flabbergasted. From then I thought to myself that, wow you're innocent I shouldn't treat you roughly, but then I saw that picture.

"What did you expect me to say... or think? You shattered the little bit of hope I forced myself to have. Now how do you expect me to... to even look at you. You acted so pure and innocent when I talked about making a baby," he sarcastically scoffs "...but little did I know you were just acting. Women like you are disgusting! For humanities sake, change. Change. Can you change, huh? The idea of you has now become remorseful! Remorseful. I can't even begin to say..."

I sniff the snot back, pushing myself not to cry even if it is greatly impossible. I hate how he throws these words at me. Am I really a lying, remorseful and disgusting person? Is that what I am? All I wanted was to fit in. Was that so wrong? Taeyong betrayed me. He deceived me. He promised not to do that, and now because of him my reputation is ruined amongst men I don't even know. All that for what?

With the intention of blocking out Kun's voice, my weeping becomes louder and audible. A deep and painful pounding in my chest causes my knees to wobble. I fall to my knees and lean my forehead on the ground, crying my heart out. I couldn't even begin to express myself other than letting my tears fall. And I would not even bother trying to hear Kun, whether he is still talking or not.

His words only hurt me, way more than the embarrassing scene. Now I wonder if I am crying because of the brilliant scandal Taeyong created or the delightful chitchat with Kun. Either way, both parties are the reason I feel this way.

Moments later when my cries slowly die down, I hear Kun sigh. The direction of his footsteps tell me that he is heading my way, so I pull myself together and try to stand on my feet.

When I clear my eyes and wipe my nose I turn around with my head hanging low. From the bit I can see in the dark room, I see Kun's figure in front of me. The guilt and sadness washes my confidence away therefore I see no reason to remain there. I walk past him with my shaky breathing, heading for the door.

By the time I get to the small laundry room, my breathing is a little more steady than it was before. Although my head is not in the right place, the will power I have against the reckless ideas in my head prevents anything from happening. And no matter how many times I try to sleep, I end up crying myself awake. As a result, at 5am I go up to the room and just like I hoped earlier, Kun is not in the room. Using this opportunity, I freshen up and get changed for work. After packing my work bag and school bag, I do not waste a second more in the house. I dash out like my life depends on it.