Results Of A Decade Attraction • Moon Taeil

39

ONE MONTH LATER

Taeil sits at the edge of his bed; elbows on his knees and hands clasped together in front of his mouth. With furrowed brows and his eyes glued to the corner of his room, his mind trails uncontrollably.

“It makes no sense.” He mutters to himself, keeping his eyes in place.

A few minutes ago before he got back home, both himself and Taeyong had been walking around in those bougie stores in malls, buying whatever they pleased and spoiling themselves. When leaving one of the stores that they bought their gold watches in, the next store contained fancy dime rings worth millions.

It didn’t help how in that moment they were conversing about their feelings towards Gyeong Hee and Y/N. Taeyong mentioned how much he silently questioned Taeil’s behavior. He always asked himself why Taeil was in love with Y/N when he barely saw her for months. He wondered why his friend was not willing to date, still believing that he has feelings solely for Y/N.

“Why do I still care for her so much? Why do I still care for Y/N so much?” Taeil inquires shaking his head slowly. He ponders on the situation more. “Why did I feel so uneasy when she was bothered? Why did I hate it when she was upset? Why am I so attached to her, of all women in this world, I’m only feeling attached to her? Why?” He questions.

Getting up abruptly, he goes to one of his top shelves where there is a small frame of Y/N. His eyebrows go up in a form of concern and he takes the photo in his hand, grazing his fingers over the flower patterns on the frame.

“You’re on my mind every moment of the day. How can I make sense of this?” Taeil complains, looking at every feature of her face. He almost smiles, but with the condition which his brain is thinking excessively in, his smile withdraws. “I don’t hate her. I don’t want to hate her. I just don’t know why I love her.” He confesses how he feels. “Why do I love her this much… and for so long? Shouldn’t I have gotten over her? Shouldn’t I have forgotten you, Y/N?”

Setting the picture down, he walks to his open curtains, looking out the window at the marvelous view of the city below. “I can’t understa… why do I… urgh.”

Taeil recalls the moments he had spent with her, seeing her look up at him, seeing her smile, breathing in her scent, listening to her speak, talking to her. It felt good; it even brings warmth to his heart just by thinking about it. He changed for her– he is a changed man because of her. How come? Why so? What happened? What was the reason for him to go the long run and become a new and better version of himself?

For ten months now, without Y/N in the city, he is still missing her, he is still in love with her, he still thinks of her, heck sometimes he even dreams of her. She has gotten to him, so much so he craves for her. “My goodness. This doesn’t follow any logic.” He grabs his hair, thinking hard. Slowly bringing his hand down, still staring into the distance, he mutters. “But I miss her. My Y/N… Swan.”

“Taeil.”

Taeil turns around after hearing his mom’s voice. “Mom.” He answers, standing lazily by the window seat.

His mom smiles softly at him, coming in and closing the door, walking towards him. She puts her hand on his shoulder, pushing him down so he should sit over the soft and comfortable blanket on the window seat. She sits beside him, looking at him through delicate eyes. “My son,” she puts her hand on his cheek. “Are you in love?” Taeil furrows his brows, unsure of whether or not he should talk. He has always been open with his mom, telling her everything that he does, feel and want. He does talk about Y/N to his mom. He does tell his mom about his feelings. But for some reason, voicing out his feelings and thoughts to someone makes him nervous. Seeing that her son is not willing to speak up she speaks instead. “I heard you.” She informs. “You’re scared.” She tells him. “Not scared of whatever it is that scares you, but you’re scared of feeling what we call ‘true love’.”