The Outsiders ships, smut, and gang one-shots

stars (johnnyboy)

warning: sad

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pony pov

i sat in the lot on the old run down car seat. this is where the last rumble happened. that was a year ago.

the socs have stayed on their side of town for the most part. and when they don't, it doesn't end well for them.

i sat back on the seat and let out a sigh. i wish johnny was still here. i wouldn't be so alone on nights that darry and soda are out doing stuff.

it started to rain and i slowly closed my eyes. i let the rain fall on me, i let the rain soak through my clothes. if i could, i'd let the rain soak through my skin and my bones. it didn't matter anymore. i i died from the cold, i'd be closer to johnny and dally.

there was something about johnny though. it was the way soda described sandy that night. but i wasn't gay. being gay was wrong.

i traced my fingers over the scars from when i was thrown on to the ground. you know, when dally saved me. i scarped up my elbows a bit. it wasn't bad, but i picked the scab and it left a scar.

i thought a little more about johnny. i wondered if he felt the way i did. i wondered if he felt amazing eveytime i was around him. i wondered if he got butterflies whenever i would say something bc or talk about my day. i wondered if he got angry when i would get hurt or upset when i didn't talk to him for a few days. i wondered all of this and realized.

i am in love with johnny.

no. i was in love with johnny. i can't tell him that i loved him now. he was gone and it was all my fault.

a/n: i'm not sorry.