I sat in her room for a while just massaging her hand, trying to bring her some comfort.
I knew I needed to let someone else come into the room but I couldn't get myself to leave. I wanted to be here with her until she woke up but that would be selfish of me.
"Okay, I'm gonna send someone else in but please keep fighting, babes." I said quietly as I stood up. I reached over and brushed her hair back, then fluffed her pillow so she would be more comfortable.
I took one last look at her then turned to leave the room. When I got back to the waiting room Colby opened his arms to me. "You okay?" He asked and enveloped me in his embrace. "Yeah. Did you want to go back there?" I asked as he nodded. "Yeah, I'll be back." He said then kissed me and turned to go to Ki's room.
I sat down next to Sam and twisted my rings nervously. "Are you doing okay?" Sam asked as I shrugged. "Not really, but I know she's gonna be okay." I said quietly. "Yeah, she's a tough one." He said and patted my leg gently.
We sat in the waiting room for a little while before Colby came back. "The doctor is going to come out here in a minute." He explained as he sat next to me. "Are you okay?" I asked him as he took my hand and pulled it into his lap.
"Yeah, it was hard to see her like that. I wanted her to wake up and roast me or something." He said as I nodded in agreement. "I told her." I said as his eyebrow scrunched. "I told her." I repeated then sniffled and looked forwards.
A few minutes later the doctor came out to talk to all of us. "Hey, guys." He said as we all stood up. "What's going on?" Colby asked as I watched the doctor carefully. "She's stable but we're gonna keep her in a comatose state because her brain is still swelling." He explained as my eyes watered.
"We're gonna keep a close eye on her. You're welcome to stay but I suggest you go home and get some rest. Who should I have as a contact?" He asked as I raised my hand. "Me." I said as he nodded. "Go ahead and give your number to the front desk. I will call with any updates." He said as I nodded.
"I'll be here every day." I said quietly. "Okay, go home for now though. We'll take care of her." He said then turned and walked away. "I'm not going home." I said and crossed my arms as everyone started getting their stuff collected.
"You need to rest, V." Colby said as I shook my head and sat down. "There's nothing we can do here." Sam said as I crossed my arms. "I'm not leaving her." I said as Colby sighed. "Come on, V....please let's just go home and sleep. We can come back first thing in the morning." Colby begged as I frowned.
I knew they were right and that I needed to just go home and get some rest but something felt so wrong about leaving her here to fend for herself. I knew she was in a controlled coma so she wouldn't be waking up randomly but I seriously didn't want to leave.
"Okay." I whispered as I stood up, wiping my hands on my pants. "Keep us updated." Sam said as I hugged him. "Okay." I said then hugged Kat, Devyn, and Corey. I then looked over at Shawn.
He was sitting in his chair still, holding his head in his hands. "Shawn?" I asked and walked over to him putting my hand on his shoulder. "I can't believe this is happening...I know you guys probably hate me which I understand...I hate me too." He said as I shook my head.
"Nobody hates you. This was an accident and you know that. You couldn't have done anything different. Ki's a bad bitch though so she's gonna be okay." I said as he shook his head. "I'm not going home." He said as I sighed. "I know it's hard, but the guys are right. There's nothing we can do here tonight, plus you're probably in pain. You need to go home and rest." I said as he sighed.
"I know. You're right but she's my girlfriend...I can't leave her." He said as I nodded. "I understand. Just try not to beat yourself up too much, okay?" I asked as he nodded. "Okay." He said as I nodded and turned to Colby.
"Let's go." I said then took his hand. "You're not gonna convince him to go home?" He asked as we made our way out of the waiting area so we could go to the car. "No. I know if you were in the hospital there would be nothing that could convince me to leave. That's how he's feeling." I said as he nodded.
"Yeah, I guess I understand that. I wouldn't leave you either." He said as we walked to the parking lot. "That's what love does to you." I said as he looked over at me. "You think he loves her?" He asked as I nodded. "Yeah." I said as we got to the car.
"They've only known each other for like a month though." He said as I laughed. "Yeah, and we loved each other after less than a week." I reminded as he chuckled. "I guess you're right." He said as we got in the car.
"Are you sure you'll be okay to drive?" I asked as Colby yawned and started the car. It was the early hours of the morning and we have been traveling basically nonstop for the past day. We were both pretty tired.
"I'll be okay. The adrenaline of getting here kinda woke me up a little bit." Colby said then took my hand. "Same. I don't know if I'll be able to sleep." I admitted as we started driving home. "I really think you should...I know it's gonna be hard but you're still pregnant, V. Ki wouldn't want you to risk anything for her." He said as I shook my head.
"I told her...but I don't think she heard me though. I want her to know the baby so badly." I said as the emotions started building up again. "She will..she's gonna wake up and be better than ever." He said and squeezed my hand.
"I want her to be the god mother of our child." I said as he nodded. "Okay. I agree." He said and brought my hand to his lips. "Good, because I already told her." I said as he breathed a laugh. "I'm sure she heard you." He said quietly as I nodded and looked out the window.
When we got home we went upstairs to our room. "We're going back when we wake up right?" I asked as I snuggled into his chest. "Yeah. I promise we will." He said then kissed my head. "Get some rest, baby girl." He mumbled sleepily. "Goodnight, baby." I said then closed my eyes.
I don't know how long I laid there with my eyes closed. I never fell asleep though. I couldn't shake the idea that Ki was fighting for her life. It was hard seeing her in such vulnerable state considering who she was as a person.
She was always so strong and witty, so seeing her laying in a hospital bed unconscious was jarring to the system.
I laid there for a little while longer before I went downstairs to bake. I knew Colby would be upset with me for not sleeping but I couldn't help it. I couldn't lay in that bed with my thoughts anymore.
I decided I was going to make cookies and cupcakes so I could bring them to the hospital to give to the nurses. I baked all morning long, focusing on keeping myself together. I worked until the sun started to rise then went outside to watch the sunrise.
I sat out by the pool and put my hand on my belly. I looked up at the sky and sighed. "Please protect her." I said to my angels as I rubbed my baby bump gently. I decided in this moment that we were going to wait to tell people about the baby until Ki was better.
I knew that I already technically told her that I was pregnant but even if she heard me I knew she wouldn't remember that I said it. I wanted that moment to be special and I wanted her to be there for it.
I sat outside for a while before I went back to the kitchen to finish the cupcakes and cookies. I was really starting to feel exhausted now, but there was no way I'd be able to sleep.
I wouldn't be able to until I knew that Ki was okay.
