A couple days have passed since I gave birth to the twins.
We still haven't been able to hold them but we were able to be in the room with them now. There were certain visiting hours that we had to follow which was fine because I was still healing myself.
I really needed to be resting.
They had to ween me off of the pain killers so I was feeling a lot of pain. I didn't care about myself though. I just cared about the girls and their health.
"We have to visit the girls." I said as Colby pulled my hair into a bun for me. I was still really weak so Colby was helping me with pretty much anything and everything. "You need to eat first." Colby said as I shook my head.
"Not until I see the girls." I said as he sighed. "Okay, but when we get back you have to eat." He said as I nodded. "Promise." I said then linked my pinky through his. "Please help me up." I said then held my hands out to him.
"Let's go see our girls." He said with a smile as he helped me stand. "I love them so much." I whispered then opened my arms to hug him. "I do too. I can't wait to kiss them and love on them." Colby said and hugged me for a second.
"I feel like it's going to be soon." I said with a sigh. "I really hope so." Colby said then gently lowered me onto the wheel chair. I groaned at the pain that radiated through my body. I had torn 12 times both internally and externally which was painful as hell.
My body was also trying to shift back to normal after having the girls. I was just overall uncomfortable but it was worth it.
When we got to the NICU, Colby wheeled me in and over to where Nova and Luna were. "Hi, angels." I said quietly as I looked at the girls. "Mommy and Daddy are here now." I said as Nova fussed and turn to look at us.
"What's wrong, Nova girl?" Colby asked as she fussed more. "I think she wants to cuddle." I said with a frown as I looked up at Colby. "We want to cuddle you, too." He said and smiled at Nova.
I looked over at Luna and admired her cute little sleeping figure. Both of the girls had little button noses and rosey plump cheeks. They looked like a perfect mix of Colby and I. I couldn't wait to see what color their eyes would be. I was also curious to see if they were going to get freckles.
I hoped they would get freckles.
We sat there for a while, watching the girls. Nova had fallen asleep for a little while, before she woke up screaming.
"It's okay, sweetheart..." I whispered as Colby looked around for a nurse. Colby opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by Luna's heart monitor going off like crazy.
"Luna?!" I asked in fear as Colby looked around more frantically. "Go find someone!" I cried out as Nova screamed louder. Colby ran away as I looked at the girls helplessly.
Luna's heart monitor went off for only a few seconds more before I couldn't deal with it anymore. I stood up slowly, forcing myself to stand through the pain. I didn't know what to do, but I knew I had to help my little girl.
I unlatched the incubator then carefully pulled Luna out of the little bassinet. "You're okay." I said then pulled her into my arms as I pulled my gown down so I could hold her against my bare skin.
"Mommy's here." I whispered as I looked around. I saw Colby running over with a nurse as the heart monitor went back to normal. "Violet! What are you doing?" Colby asked as I held Luna to my chest.
"I had to help her." I whispered as the nurse came over. "You might have just saved her life." She said as my legs trembled. "What do you mean?" I asked as she cooed and snuggled into my chest.
"It looks like her body temperature was too low. She was going into shock. Your body heat warmed her up." The nurse explained as I sat down in the wheel chair. "Can I hold Nova too?" I asked with a hopeful expression as I looked up at the nurse.
"Yeah, that might be a good idea." The nurse said with a small smile as she unlatched Nova's incubator. The nurse pulled her out then laid her on the other side of my chest.
"Hi, sweetheart." I whispered then kissed both of their heads. "V." Colby said causing me to look up at him. He was holding his phone up to take a picture of us. I smiled as tears form in my eyes.
I couldn't believe that I was finally holding the babies that I carried in my stomach for so long. I was holding the missing pieces that were in my heart for the past couple days.
I was finally complete.
"Wanna hold them?" I asked Colby as I looked up at him. "More than anything." He said as I smiled and Luna fussed in my arms.
"You wanna go to daddy?" I asked and kissed her head as she opened her eyes and looked up at me. "Hi." I whispered as tears trickled down my cheeks.
I kissed her head then looked down at Nova as she slept again my chest. "Can you help me pass them off?" I asked the nurse as she nodded.
"I'll start with Luna." She said then carefully lifted Luna off of my chest so she could be laid in Colby's arms.
"Hi, honey." Colby said as his eyes welled with tears of his own. "Nova's turn." The nurse said then pulled Nova off of my chest. I watched as she carefully laid her on Colby's other arm.
I felt my heart swell as he looked down at them with so much love in his eyes. I pulled my phone out of the little pocket that was on the side of my wheel chair.
I took a couple candids of Colby looking down at the girls. He looked at them with so much love that I thought my heart was going to explode.
"Colby." I said as he looked up me. "Smile for mommy." Colby said then gave me a wide grin. I took a couple pictures then looked at the heart monitors to make sure they were still okay.
After a couple minutes, the nurse had to put the girls back in their incubators. It killed me that they couldn't stay in our arms for forever, but this was great progress.
Visiting hours for the girls were over though which meant it was time to go back to our room. When we got there Shawn and Ki were in there with bags of food.
"There you are!" Ki said as Colby wheeled me into the room. "We were visiting Nova and Luna. We got to hold them." I said as she smiled. "No way! That's great!" She said as Colby carefully lifted me out of the chair and onto the bed.
"Wanna see the pictures?" Colby asked as she laid out a box of nachos on the tray in front of me. "Yes! I can't wait until I can hold them. That's going to be iconic." Ki said as Shawn laughed.
"Better not be getting baby fever." He said as she giggled. "I don't need to have a baby, my best friend just had two which I can love on but give back when they shit themselves." Ki said as I pulled up the pictures I took of the girls and Colby.
"You're gonna have to change a diaper every once in a while ya know?" Colby teased as she shook her head. "No way in hell." She said as I held my phone up. "Oh my god! Dad Colby is in motion!" She said as I laughed.
"I wanna see milf Violet now." She said as Colby chuckled. "She's hot." He said then showed her the pictures. "Oh my god. I am obsessed with you guys being parents." She said as I popped a chip in my mouth. "Me, too." I said then looked at Colby with a smile.
It was so surreal knowing that after everything Colby and I became parents. It was crazy to think that we started off as complete strangers.
I knew that was how relationships worked but it would forever be insane knowing that luck and faith was what brought us together.
Colby broke down the walls that I didn't think would ever be broken and I did the same for him. We made each other better and in the process fell in love enough to have two little girls who we would do anything for.
I think it was safe to say things were falling into place.
