"So, V. Did you want anything to eat?" Sam asked as they all settled into the RV. "I want cheese." I mumbled as Ki sat next to me with Luna in her arms.
"I'll get you all the cheese in the world." Sam said as I nodded and brought my hand to Luna's cheek.
"I know I look scary, but it's just mommy." I said quietly as she looked up at me with a blank face. "She'll warm up, V. So will Nova." Colby said quietly as I nodded then looked at Ki.
"Be honest, how fucked up do I look?" I asked as she pursed her lips. She looked at Colby for a split second before looking back at me. "You look like you accidentally jumped into a meat grinder." She said as Colby groaned.
"Ki!" He scolded as I chuckled. "I told her to be honest, Colby. It's all good." I said then looked at Kat who was rocking Nova. "Is she being honest?" I asked as she looked away. "Oh my god, Nova look at this!" She said then carried her to the back of the RV.
"So, yes." I said then leaned my head on Colby's shoulder. We hung out for a while as Sam drove to get me some food. The pain medicine finally kicked in which was good because I was in mass amounts of pain.
"Do you think it's dangerous to breastfeed while on Vicodin?" I asked as Colby pursed his lips. "I told them you were breastfeeding but I wouldn't be surprised if it didn't get passed along. I can call Amy if you want." Colby said as I nodded.
"Please." I said as Luna started to fuss. "Will you let me hold you?" I asked and held my hands out to her. She fussed but held her arms out, wanting me to take her. "That's my girl." I whispered as Ki laid her in my arms.
"Shhhh..." I whispered and held her close. I felt like all of the sadness from my injuries melted away as she snuggled into me. "Hi, my love." I whispered then kissed her head. When I pulled away I noticed there was blood where I just kissed.
"A-am I bleeding?" I asked as Kat frowned at me. "Yeah, your lip busted open. I'll get you a tissue." She said then skipped off to the bathroom as Colby came back.
"Amy said you can't breastfeed while on it, so we'll either have to do formula or you can't take the Vicodin anymore." Colby explained as I nodded. "No more Vicodin then." I said with a sigh as he shook his head.
"I think we should talk about this." He said as I shook my head. "The girls need to eat, I can live with no pain killers. They can't live without food." I said as he frowned. "They can live off of formula though, V. You're in a lot of pain." He said as I nodded.
"I'll be fine." I said as Sam parked the RV. "I'll be back." Sam said as Kat and Ki both stood up. "We're coming!" Kat said as Ki laid Nova in Colby's arms.
"We scared them off." I said with a sigh. "Maybe, but I just don't think you realize how severe this is, V. You're gonna be in a lot of pain if you don't take that medicine." He said as I sighed. "I don't think you realize that I'm the one that's going to be in pain. I make the decision." I said, feeling the anger boil up.
I think the girls could sense the tension that was surrounding us because they both started crying. "Shit." I whispered then stood up. "I gotta make the formula." I said as Colby stood. "I've got it, baby." He said as I shook my head.
"No. I've got it." I said then went over to the little kitchen that was on the RV. "God damnit, V. Don't do this." Colby said as I groaned, bouncing Luna. "Don't do what?" I asked and grabbed the formula, trying to make two bottles with one arm.
"You know what you're doing." He said as I slammed the formula down, looking at him. "What am I doing?! Tell me what I'm doing!" I screamed as Nova and Luna cried. "You're shutting down." He said as I turned away from him, feeling the tears welling in my eyes as I tried to calm Luna down.
"I-I'm just trying to understand what's happening to me." I whispered, my voice cracking. "V..." Colby said as I hugged Luna. "I'm just scared." I admitted as both Nova and Luna finally stopped crying.
Before Colby could respond Sam, Kat, and Ki were coming back in with bags of food. "Oh.." Sam said as I looked over at them, crying.
"Why don't you let us feed the girls...you guys can go talk in the back room." Sam said as I nodded and handed Luna off to Ki, then quickly scurried off to the back room.
When I got there I sobbed into my hands, feeling my heart breaking. I had been bottling things up since I didn't know what happened. I remember opening the door to see Jarrod, but nothing after that.
It was scary having a part of time be gone, especially when you knew you were injured during the lost time.
It was also scary not knowing what I looked like or how bad my injuries were. I knew I could look at any time but I was scared to do that, too.
I was just scared.
"V...come here." Colby said as he walked into the room, pulling me into his chest. "Why is everything so scary?" I whispered as he hugged me close. "Because you just had something traumatic happen to you." He cooed as I sobbed.
"What happened though? What happened to me?" I asked as I pulled away. When I did this I saw both tear stains and blood stains on Colby's shirt, meaning my face was bleeding again.
"You really wanna know?" He asked and handed me a tissue. "Yes." I whispered as I brought the tissue to my lip. "Okay, sit down." Colby said then pointed to the bed.
I nodded and sat down, wiping my tears away with my hand. "So you went to see Chad but it was really Jarrod." He said as his jaw clenched.
"Chad said he had been doing better but he has had issues since you left to be with me. Seeing you must have triggered something in him so he went manic and just beat the shit out of you." He said as I looked down at my hands.
"Did I do something to anger him?" I asked as he sat next to me, putting his arm around me. "I don't think so, V. I think that he's a psychotic prick that needs to be put in jail." He explained as I looked up again.
"I gotta stop sending people to jail." I said as Colby breathed a laugh. "People need to stop fucking with you." He said as I frowned. "Can I look at my face?" I asked as he chewed his lip. "I don't know, V." He said quietly.
"It's that bad?" I asked as he nodded. "Kinda." He said with a sigh. "I guess it's up to you, though. I don't own you." He said as I sighed. "I think I'll feel better if I know." I said then stood up and grabbed my phone.
I pulled the camera up then took a deep breath. When I flipped the camera around I saw my bruised face, causing my heart to break.
My eyes were swollen almost shut and my nose was bruised significantly. My lips were swollen and cracked as blood trickled out where it was split.
I looked horrible.
"Oh." I whispered as Colby nodded. "Now you know why I want you to take the pain meds." He said as I frowned. "I know, but I need to feed those girls. I can't not. They are more important than my pain." I said as he caressed my cheek gently.
"I understand. Just promise me you'll take the meds if it gets too bad." Colby said as I nodded. "I will." I said as he nodded and kissed my head.
"I love you." He said quietly as I looked up at him. "Even when I look like Quasimodo?" I asked as he laughed. "You're beautiful, V. You always will be." He said then held his hands out.
"Let's go cuddle our girls before those meds wear off." He said causing me to take his hands so he could pull me up.
When we got out to the living room area, Sam was rocking Nova in his arms. Kat was rocking Luna and Ki was setting up the food they had just got.
"Everything okay?" Sam asked as I nodded and went to go grab Nova from him. "Yeah, thanks for feeding the girls" I said as he grinned at me. "Any time." He said as Ki clapped.
"Eat, bitch." She said as I laughed. "Thanks, mommy." I teased as she flipped me off.
They ended up getting me mac and cheese, mozzarella sticks, nachos, and quesadillas which was funny but also exactly what I asked for.
I was so glad that I was constantly surrounded my supportive friends who would do anything to make my life even a little easier.
I would forever be grateful for them.
