dursley [h. g.]

[hermione]

this is a teaser for the events of half-blood prince and a celebration of 100k reads

HERMIONE GRANGER COULDN'T SLEEP.

She hadn't really slept since she woke up in the hospital wing after getting hit by a curse in the Department of Mysteries and she was told that Kendra Dursley was missing. Had she been able to get up, she would have raged through the hospital wing until someone could tell her why they had let the Death Eaters get away with her girlfriend and why they hadn't found her yet. She had been so angry, and woke up every morning simply out of spite.

The weeks went on and the anger evaporated. She shouldn't blame the Order- they were the ones who had stumbled into the Department of Mysteries like it was no problem. Hermione's anger had ebbed into guilt. It was her fault, she could have kept Kendra out of the mess if she had just kept her away from the Ministry, if she had stayed at Hogwarts like Hermione's gut instinct had told her. But guilt didn't ease her pain either, and her sleepless nights and hollow sobs continued.

Hermione had never considered herself a religious woman- if asked, she would simply state that she believed in no higher power. She took it all back that summer, because Kendra was everything to her, her life, her breath, her god, her worship. And without her, without being able to even just write her and know she was safe, Hermione found herself on her knees, praying to whatever God would listen to bring back Kendra. She promised whatever she could to the silent nights and cold stars until her knees were imprinted with the carpet's patterns and her fingers were numb from being wrung over and over again.

Ron invited her to the Burrow, in his letter mentioning that Harry would probably be there soon, as everyone was worried for his wellbeing. It was plain to see that his cousin was the only reason he put up with the Dursleys, and without her, he had no lifeline. Hermione wasn't sure if the Dursley's had been informed of their daughter's disappearance, but she was sure it wouldn't have improved Harry's stay there. Being at the Burrow was better than being alone with her parents, who worked long hours and had no inkling of what had happened. Harry and Ron at the very least knew Hermione was missing a dear friend- though they weren't as stupid as they seemed and probably had an idea of what had been going on between the two teens.

Still no news. Harry's arrival at the Burrow relaxed everyone's mood slightly. Dumbledore had assured Harry that they had a potential lead on his cousin, but everyone was far too fearful to mention it as to jinx it, or otherwise throw it off.  Kendra's OWL results had been mailed to the Burrow, though the air of it was just as mournful as anything else that even reminded them of her in the slightest. Hermione sometimes left the house at night, just to sit alone in the cold, and stare up at the pale, cold sky that seemed to mock her teardrops with shimmering diamonds of light. Hermione didn't cry anymore. She didn't pray anymore. She just stared emptily, waiting for something, for anything. Because she refused to believe Kendra dead.

Thoughts were always swimming in Hermione's head when she wasn't trying to distract herself and her friends from the reality of the situation. Some days, she wished she had never met Kendra- perhaps she would have been safe then. She wondered if Kendra was thinking of her, sometimes, wherever she was. She wondered if Kendra resented her. The self loathing part of Hermione, the part that had grown with each sleepless night underneath the cold, mocking sky, hoped that Kendra resented her. That Kendra deserved better than a girl that would lead her into a death trap.

Hermione stood up from her patch of grass, glancing up at the sky one more time before turning and heading back inside, slipping back into her bed in Ginny's room, hoping that that sleepless night would be her last, one way or another.

a/n: happy 100k, i hope this look into Hermione's head was a fun little treat (or not cause its like really sad) before half-blood prince really starts. and don't worry, i know im being evil author right now but it gets better ;^

I hope u all feel fed I'm enjoying updating