YES, I LOVE YOU

PROLOGUE

Dream.

Have you ever encountered an individual that doesn't have one? Is there anyone in this world that doesn't have a dream?

People create scenarios on their head from the wishes and desires they wanted to be real in this life in order to change even a little bit of their boring life. And when that finally happen, they call it a dream come true.

Sometimes there are also dreams that stay hidden in a person's heart, waiting to be realized and hoping that one day in the right time, it will be fulfilled.

But how can a dream become true when others also doesn't want to make it happen, or too afraid to do it? What if that person is only contented enough of hiding that dream? What if that person doesn't have plans on fighting for it?

What if there are also dreams that are meant to fail and destine to be someone's biggest regret?

"Are you one of those people who are just waiting for their time in order to fully realize their true dream?"

Napalingon ako sa aking editor mula sa naging tanong ng isang sikat na reporter. Nginitian niya ako at tila gumaan naman ang pakiramdam ko nang makita ang ngiting iyon.

Nasa isang malaking fan sign event ako ngayon dito sa Araneta Coloseum. People are excited because finally the very sought after writer of this generation 'Lilac' has finally revealed her identity. And now people could not wait to know more about her.

Huminga ako ng malalim at napatingin ng mariin sa nagtatanong na reporter.

" When I was in college, I really wanted to join in our school publication."

Natigilan naman ako nang maalala ang panahong iyon. Napatingin ako sa sahig ng malaking stage at pilit sinariwa ang pangyayaring iyon sa buhay ko.

" But I was too afraid to take the exam, so I never had the chance to join and until now that is still one of my biggest what ifs in my life. My biggest regret."

Nakita kong natahimik ang buong stadium at lahat sila ay taimtim lang na nakikinig sa akin.

" Why you never do it, Miss Lilac?"

Napalabi ako at tumuwid ng upo. I held my hands and put it on my thighs. My heart is beating so fast, and I am so bothered that people will notice my sweating hands that I'm trying to wipe on my pants.

Kapag ganitong kabado ako ay mabilis talaga akong pinagpapawisan. Hindi rin ako sanay sa napakaraming tao kasi sa totoo lang ay napakamahiyain ko.

This is my first time facing my fans, though I know they've been waiting for this moment that I will show myself to them, but still I can't help myself to be nervous.

" I am so afraid of failing the test, and perhaps I'm too afraid to accept my failure for that would surely crashed me into bits and pieces. If I fail in the exam, I'm too afraid to realize that I am not really good enough in writing."

Tumingin ako muli sa mga mata ng reporter at napangiti sa kanya ng kaunti.

" But one thing that I realize on that certain point of my life. I realize, I was really not afraid of failing the exam. What I'm really afraid is the unacceptance of my failure that would lead me to giving up writing. Writing is everything to me. My one biggest dream that I'm afraid to do so because of disappointments and failures."

" I'm so afraid losing my dream on that time because of that stupid exam. And perhaps I am just that shy student who is too afraid to realize her dreams because she's too overwhelmed by her fears."