Our Strange Duet (Yandere Modern Princes x Reader)

Chapter 23: How It Used To Be

"Your majesty," a guard said, bowing to the male on the throne.

The blonde in question was giving a blank look in the distance, uncaring of most anything that approached him. His emotions were all in disarray and he didn't know what to feel at that given time. In fact, when he tried to figure it out and disentangle the mess of his mind, he found himself feeling dizzy and sick. It made many servants worry, especially since he was the king of their nation.

"Excellency," an assistant said quietly, attracting the blonde's vague attention, "Guard Avington is here to escort you to your private lunch."

"I'm not in the mood," the blonde grumbled.

"Excellency, you must take care of your health. It is of the utmost importance that you remain strong despite your grief. Is there anything that could encourage you to eat?"

The younger male shook his head, a disgruntled expression on his uncaring face. He wasn't entirely too keen on enjoying a meal without (Y/n). Sure, not everything in his life was about the (h/c) haired girl. In fact, he had to put her off to rule the nation, but his mind was always on her. If it wasn't that she was able to be spoiled and esteemed due to his position, he likely wouldn't have been interested in being king. In fact, if he wasn't, he would have had more than enough time to spend with her.

As the blonde thought about it, he found that it was almost insulting the amount of time he spent with her. He should have been able to spend at least four hours with her when he was awake. No, at least six. The number just kept increasing in his mind, the male unsettled by the amount of time he left her alone. It wasn't right, but...did it make it his fault? Should he have done more for her? How would he have done it? Rei kept thinking about it, his mind in la-la land.

He should have demanded more free time or brought her to meetings and encouraged her to have a position at court other than being his lover. If he would have done that, maybe he would have seen her more often. At the same time, he never wanted to push responsibility onto her. He wanted her to have a life in which she didn't have to do a thing, just enjoy the luxury he provided her. What was the right choice?

(Y/n) loved him, she did. There couldn't have been any alternative, she loved him as much as he loved her. They were perfect together, protected one another when they were scared, comforted the other when they encountered a nightmare. She would have more nightmares than he would. Rei would squeeze her so tightly when he felt her shake in his arms. He never wanted her to suffer. She, of all people, didn't deserve it, but everyone else did. Making her so scared and prompting her to suffer due to their mistakes; it made him sick.

Sure, the blonde was incredibly terrified of not having her beside him, but it was because he needed to be there to protect her. Without him, she would have died, but with him, she was calm and happy. He remembered her clinging to him desperately, weeping while he pet her hair comfortingly. The only way she would go back to sleep is if he tucked her in and kissed her before singing her his special song. Even then, it didn't always work.

"The world goes black," the male hummed, tears pricking at his eyes, "my heart goes numb, the way the eyes peer down. The water goes still...t-the heartbeat stops, the pain of lies goes on."

She would fall asleep so calmly in his arms, clutching hopelessly at his loose pajama shirt. And always would one single tear fall from her crystal clear (e/c) pupils, one the blonde would be swift to clear away and kiss it gently. He couldn't count the number of nightmares she'd had or the number of times when he would wake up to her crying and calling his name, burying herself in his chest and holding his hand to her cheek. Further still, she'd been nothing like that when he brought her to the castle. Her experience was one of bliss, the opposite of her blatant suffering.