Her Eyes || Draco Malfoy

91

"So its all true?!"

Funny, that peace we once had between us was now gone as we had gotten into a fight over something Blaise told me out of the blue when he owl'd me.

Draco huffed, throwing his head back in frustration after I had called him a selfish asshole for the 5th time.

"Aster I swear to fucking god shut up!" He hissed as I crossed my arms, lips sealed with an eyebrow perked up.

I laughed dryly tilting my head "answer the question Draco." I said calmly tears slowly finding my eyes "tell me right now if its true and when"

"Yes it was true Aster okay? I was going to do it the night you found out about the cabinet but I fucking couldn't!" He shouted and I flinched due to his volume change "i just couldn't leave you.. I wanted to protect you.. not hurt you."

"I wanted you to thrive, to be happy and safe not watch me fucking slowly kill myself or watch me literally get fucking killed because merlin knows that he would fucking make you watch as he killed me and tortured me and I cannot.. will not let you go through that all over again because you're an angel- an actual fucking angel and I love you"

"So forgive me Aster for planning on breaking up with you—I didn't want to do it and thats why I didn't"

I was silent as he stepped forward, "so don't fucking call me a selfish asshole for wanting to protect you—for wanting to keep the girl I want to spend my whole life with; safe and happy" his words hit me straight in the chest as I broke down into tears.

"I fucking love you Iris—I realized that I can't loose you because if I did it I realized it would break you and you'd be so fucking empty—I know this because everytime we get into a fight like this and we ignore eachother you look so fucking broken, like nothing is okay anymore and I remember that one time, that one fucking time I got angry at you and told you I hated you over something so fucking stupid and you thought I was being serious so you fell down a hole and I had to pull you out of the bathtub"

He wrapped his arms around me as I cried into his chest.

"I can't loose you—if I lost you I would be nothing so don't doubt for a second about if I love you or not Aster because I fucking do—more than anything" It hit me hard, what he said as he rubbed my back in a relaxing motion.

"I still feel so bad about what I said to you— fuck" he was crying now as I refused to respond still taking in what he said, all of it.

"I meant what I said when I say I want to spend my whole life with you Aster" he continued as I hesitated to hug him back.

"I hate it when you call me that, you know?" I mumbled into his chest hearing him chuckle and kiss the top of my head "I love Aster, its a beautiful name but it feels wrong whenever you call me it because I feel like I did something wrong"

I looked up at him, unable to actually make eye contact with him I stepped back away from him and let a shaky sigh leave my lips.

"You say you don't want to hurt me but you're the one who planned on breaking up with me for a cabinet, Malfoy" I saw the pain in his eyes form as I used his last name, I could tell he was regretting ever considering it but I couldn't let him off easy for this.

"You love me so much but the fact you even considered it—a cabinet over me?" I was probably overreacting but I was hurt "I was so hoping that Blaise was lying—trying to find a way for me to get mad at you or some pathetic excuse to get me in his bed—a cabinet? Over your girlfriend?"

"Iris- what do you mean by that.. Blaise doesn't know about the Cabinet or that I was even planning on doing it I never told anyone" he was being genuine, not a single lie in his tone as he spoke "why would he want to... Iris"

He looked at me like he knew I knew something that he didn't and I had to tell him about Blaise.

"Blaise is in love with me. I dont-" he snapped, walked towards me and making me make eye contact with him causing me to stop what I was saying.

"Blaise is what?" He hissed and I felt my knees lock "you're mine Iris, mine" I felt my heart speed up and my cheeks run hot as I bit back a smile.

"Yours? You were going to break up with me for a cabinet"

"I was going to break up with you for your safety. Mine, youre mine" he paused cupped my cheek "and I'm yours"

It took everything in me not to kiss him right then, I was still mad at him so I pushed his hand away from me and stepped back.

"No" I hushed, tears brimming my eyes again as my own actions hurt me more than him probably, I was pushing away my home "no?"

I nodded at his question "no" confirmed, I didn't know what I was doing but I didn't like it, his heart broke in his eyes.

"Iris.. no what are you doing?" His voice cracked and a tear left his eye, he looked as if he was going to break and I knew he was because I was going to.

I didn't respond right away when I looked over to avoid his eyes.

"I'm-" I stopped and now was crying, something I couldn't stop anymore I also wasn't sure the exact reason why I was crying.

Once I had calmed down a bit, I finally thought of what to say but I still avoided his eyes "Draco.." I started as I wiped my face off quickly

"I love you— truly I do more than anything and I know you meant no harm, had no intention to hurt me because you just want me safe—" I took another deep breath before looking at him "but I can't act like everything fine, that what you were going to do was fine because it isn't"

He nodded, agreeing with me because he knew.

"It never will be- never and I know that" he whispered crossing his arms and all I wanted to do was hug him and never let go.

"never" I repeated quietly trailing off a bit as I sat down on my bed and bringing my knees to my chest to rest my head on them.

"I hurt you" he said blankly sitting down on the end of the bed to keep a distance between us yet still comfort me "I did the one thing I swore never to do, I hate myself for it and I'm so sorry I hurt you"

With that, I snapped.

I threw myself forward into his arms crying into his chest hard "I hate you" I repeated over and over again as he hugged me, I was home.

He held me tightly like he'd lose me if he didn't, he told me he couldn't loose me but yet still he almost let me go and even if it was for my safety it still hurt.

"You're allowed to be mad at me—fuck hate me all you want just please don't leave me you're the only thing keeping me sane" he told me and I removed myself from his arms and sat where I once was.

I stayed silent, not wanting to give him a reaction but seeing his eyes as red and swollen as they were, hearing how hurt and destroyed he was over this fight gave me that ultimate realization that it was effecting him the same as me.

"baby" I whispered and I saw him breathe in slightly to prepare himself for whatever it was I would say "I'm not leaving you" it came out almost quiet enough that I wasn't sure he could hear me.

But judging by the way a small smile found his lips and his head fell onto my chest I knew he did, he heard me clearly.

"I'm still mad at you"

"I know, I deserve it"

I smiled and kissed his head.

He wasn't letting me sleep alone tonight, he never would let me even if we weren't on talking terms he'd pick me up from the couch of the common room or come into my room to fall asleep with me.

It made it hard for me to stay mad at him, "I love you," he mumbled into my chest as I played with his hair.

"Do you?" I smiled to myself as he brought his face to mine.

"No you're not allowed to go to sleep feeling insecure—neither of us are sleeping till you know I love you" He was being serious till a small smile broke out on his face.

"Because fuck Iris I love you so much"