Her Eyes || Draco Malfoy

93

TW// Mention of rape & self harm

Being released was the hardest thing for me, Draco stayed by my side though and made it easier for me to handle.

I was dismissed from my classes till I felt safe enough to return and with Cormac having been kicked out of the school for the remainder of the school year he couldn't for torment me.

I was square one again, only letting one person near me, flinching at every lift of a finger from everyone but Draco and using my own dagger to hurt myself again.

I was locked onto Dracos arm like a lost puppy whenever we walked to meals, he still didn't know what had happened and I knew I needed to tell him, I wanted to.

I was ready.

I sat next to the blonde, resting my head on his chest and he placed a blanket on me.

I took my time, waiting for me to get more comfortable on the couch as he watched the fire and ran his hand up and down my arm to comfort me.

There wasn't many words to be exchanged between us lately simply because Draco knew that whatever had happened to me traumatized me so bad I refused most human contact.

His heartbeat kept me at peace till I finally lifted my head to meet his eyes as they looked back at me.

"you okay flower?" he asked with such a gentle tone that it made me feel a little warm inside but I didn't answer.

"I'm ready to tell you" I started as he pushed my hair from my face "what happened that night—though I think you already know"

He didn't interrupt me, his eyes softened and he nodded slightly to tell me to continue while he brought his hand to mine; holding it gently.

I took a deep breath as he began rubbing the back of my hand.

"That night—when Theo and I went on a walk around the castle because I couldn't sleep—he went to use the toilet and—" I paused, closing my eyes to keep myself from crying before continuing "and Cormac was following us, he pulled me into the girls bathroom and he- he-"

I stopped, burying my face into Draco's chest as he held me, muffling the rest of my words "he raped me" my voice was shaky and I felt his breath stop for a moment along with his heart.

"over and over again, then he tried to kill me-" he shushed me when he realized how shaky I was, how my breathing became heavy so he rubbed my back.

Kissing my forehead he made sure to calm me down enough to be able to look at me properly.

"baby" I mumbled as I tilted my head back, his eyes were red, tears falling down his cheeks, I recognized this look.

He looked as if he had failed himself

"this isn't your fault—I can see in your eyes that you think it is, I don't want you blaming yourself like Theo is" I told him, softly and went to argue on how Theo knew but then he remembered.

he technically was there, just he didn't know.

He looked at me with soft eyes, hard to read what he was feeling as he closed them and threw his head back.

Placing my head back onto his chest he sighed shakily "don't cry ferret" I told him as I hugged him, his arms tightened around me to hold me closer.

I only let him close to me, I didn't flinch when I was with him or when he lifted his arms and it had been a while since I had told him I loved him.

Only because I was to emotionally numb to even feel anything, it had been almost 3 weeks since I said it last.

But I guess letting him near me when everyone and everything scared me was another way of saying it.

He didn't want me to be hurt anymore, he wanted me to be happy and right as I was slowly starting to feel normal again, like everything was okay and I couldn't get hurt anymore.

It happened.

Now he had one hand on my lower back and the other tangled in my hair as he hummed quietly to keep me calmed down.

I was slowly falling asleep, I could only do so with him which is why I didn't take the offer of leaving the rest of the school year.

But when I heard his soft snores and I was still awake I knew that, I wasn't sleeping tonight.

It took everything in me to sit up straight so I could get off the couch.

He groaned quietly but didn't wake up, luckily he was a heavy sleeper and wouldn't realize I was gone right away.

I walked into my dorm room, carefully enough not to wake up Pansy and Ruby before changing into slightly more comfortable clothes as I was still in my day clothes.

I found myself in the bathroom minutes later, staring at myself in the mirror with blood trickling down my arms.

Regret filled my body everytime I did this, I wished to undo it even if it did give me that little bit of feeling that I craved after being so numb for so long.

Cleaning myself up I bandaged my arms and walked back out of the dorm room to see that Draco had woken up.

I gave him a sad look and he looked down, sighing "I'll heal them but I hate you're going this again Iris" he told me as I sat next to him as he slowly removed the bandages.

"it's going to sting, probably more than you remember if it gets to be to much you need to—with no excuse—tell me to give you break" his tone was stern and I nodded as he kissed the side of my head softly

He was right, it hurt more than I had remembered but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle.

He held his arms open for me, allowing me to bury my face into the crook of his neck without much hesitation.

He was gentle with me, he always was and he always would be.