Her Eyes || Draco Malfoy

95

TW// mention of self harm

Katie Bell was back.

Everyone was whispering when she walked back our table, Draco not present after having to finish up his work from the night before.

Ruby and Theo sat on either side of me and even though it was strange not having him at my side especially right now when everyone's attention was either on Katie or me I weirdly felt fine.

I watched her as she walked down the isle, completely unaware of the fact that she was walking past the girlfriend of the person who had sent her into the hospital in the first place.

She looked normal not like how you think one would after being almost killed by a necklace, she didn't look sick infact it looked as if she had just walked out of charms class.

I had seen Draco enter the greathall, eyes red as they met mine and I immediately got up standing at his side.

Slipping his hand into mine I sighed, wanting to ask why he was crying but never getting to when his eyes suddenly shifted over to where Katie and Harry were.

He went pale as if he had seen a ghost before glancing at me and running off, me following with my hand still in his.

He was clearly on edge with her being back, unsure on if she had somehow found out he was the one who cursed her despite it not being him to had given her the necklace.

Draco looked back as I did, eyes widening when I noticed Harry following behind us both as we went through corridor after corridor.

We stopped when we had finally lost Harry in a crowd of people and ended up in a near by bathroom.

He let go of my hand refusing to look at me as he walked towards the sink.

That was the first time I had seen them as the rolled up his sleeve when he turned the water on, his left forearm was covered in healed and fresh scars which didn't hide the mark that stared back at me.

He was still doing it.

I froze for a second before stepping towards him and wrapping my arms around his neck to hug him which was the only thing I could do in this very moment to comfort him.

I knew he had done it but seeing it without the bandage stung, he was shaking and crying into my neck as I rubbed his back.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry—Iris I'm so fucking sorry" he cried over and over again, he had been holding this in forever now and I knew it.

I wanted to know what made him break, was it her return knowing there is a slim chance he could end up expelled for his actions which he didn't directly commit or have much choice in?

"Aster I can't fucking do it anymore" my heartbroke, I knew what he was feeling "I'm trying—fuck I'm trying so hard to stay strong" I hugged him tighter as he continued, his tears soaking my shirt.

I tilted back, cupping his face to wipe his tears away, still refusing to look at me I frowned.

"How long? baby how long have you been cutting yourself?" I asked, trying to sound like I wasn't going to start crying as I looked down at his arm.

He hesitated before finally looking at me and responding "a week after I got my mark then I stopped when you showed up at my window, I started again early December" he bit his lip and I grabbed his arm running my fingers across his scars.

"I'm sorry" he took a deep breath, sniffling as I placed a hand on his cheek "Iris—I am" He thought I was mad at him when I wasn't, god I couldn't be mad at him for something I knew was so hard to stop doing.

I was upset, yes but not mad because its wrong to be mad at someone for trying to cope, even if that way of coping was cutting.

I couldn't let go of his arm, I just stared down at it unsure of what to say to him in that very moment.

"I'm horrible—a monster" he hushed and I shot my eyes up to his where I shook my head and a singular tear fell below.

"You're not a monster Draco, I promise you aren't, you are far from one" I ensured as I caressed his hair, patting it down.

He didn't believe me, I could see it in his eyes "I am, I am and I don't know why you stay with me Iris—I almost killed two people!" he jerked back giving is both distance, startling me as he had never been like this with me before.

As he began walking over to the sink I processed what he said "..what do you mean two? whos the other one?" I asked but he didn't answer "Draco who-"

"Ron! I almost fucking killed Ron Iris!" He shouted looking over at me making me jump and close my eyes as a tear fell down my cheek but I doubt he noticed it.

I opened my eyes watching as he removed his vest and turning the water on, looking at himself in the mirror.

I went to place my hand on his shoulder when he grabbed my wrist aggressively "Draco-" I squealed in fear, looking away with my eyes closed, unsure of what I was expecting.

Releasing my wrist I stumbled back against the wall, crying because seeing him in this state scared me but what scared me most was the loud crash that came after and I realized that he had punched the mirror as I opened my eyes.

I was too scared to move so I buried my head in my knees trying to drain out what was happening though I knew he wouldn't hurt me.

I opened my eyes to look up at him seeing him kneeled infront of me hesitating to reach out to me "I'm- I'm sorry" he hushed as I stood up letting him pull me infront of the sink which confused me.

He looked at me, eyes locked on mine when he finally spoke up "I'm sorry, I didn't-" he never got to finish though when he was suddenly cut off causing him to turn around standing in front of me as if to shield me.

"I know what you did Malfoy"