Same Love | Jikook | [✓]

21

Song Recommendation:
Nights Like This - Kehlani
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That Friday night, Jungkook was back in his bedroom. His own room, caged by the four grey walls as he sat on his bed, hugging himself, wishing it was Jimin instead who was holding him.

Jungkook couldn't go to Jimin's house, not at all. He felt too horrible to face the blonde boy. He didn't want to see him yet. He needed time away to gather his thoughts and feelings, to build courage to see his love again. Jungkook didn't know how but he knew he had to face him soon, because he loved him and couldn't stand to see him so hurt. Jungkook was angry at that time, believing that Jimin didn't trust him enough. Now he wasn't angry, he was just hurt that Jimin thought such things about him. After everything Jungkook did to prove to Jimin he wasn't what people thought, Jimin still thought negatively of Jungkook.

"I can't believe they hid it from me. For so long..." Jungkook sat as he ran his hand down his face in frustration. He knew they hid things but now it got to the point where he wondered to what extent they hid things from him, and did this include Jimin as well.

Jungkook's worries got the best of him. His anxiety made him stress about everything related to Jimin.

Did Jimin love him back?

Did Jimin want him anymore?

Did Jimin hate him?

Would Jimin continue to hurt him if Jungkook put trust into him?

Does Jimin trust him?

Jungkook couldn't face Jimin until he sorted through his thoughts and rationalized as best as he could. The old Jungkook would have believed his doubts but the new one, the one Jimin changed, wanted to believe not every doubt was real.

This is why Jungkook wanted to be left alone for a while, but Jimin didn't understand that Jungkook had a reason for asking for some time away, and Jimin naturally assumed Jungkook didn't want to see him anymore.

Another thing that kept playing in his mind is that if Jimin was gay, he should've told him so Jungkook could confess but this anxiety led him to think that Jimin didn't tell him because he didn't want Jungkook to know. Jungkook thought that if Jimin knew he liked Jimin, then Jimin kept it from him so that he wouldn't have to hear Jungkook's confession. It was a crazy thought but Jungkook's anxiety didn't leave room for sane thoughts.

Jungkook is then reminded of his past traumas and before he could comprehend, he was standing on his feet and trashing his room. He started with the duvet. He flung it across the room. He then trashed his desk, breaking his desk lamp along with flinging some old books around. He moved on to start aiming punches at the dry wall until his knuckles started to crack and bleed. He couldn't take it anymore.

Jimin doesn't love you. Jimin will never love you. Stupid sinner.

Jungkook was frustrated that he couldn't shut the voices off.

"Jimin! Why did you leave me like this?" Jungkook yelled until his throat hurt, knowing his parents weren't home yet although it was after seven. His parents had no idea that he'd be back today so they stayed out till late. Jungkook was torturing himself. He hasn't eaten yet and he had a headache from all the crying he did but he felt he deserved every bit of pain.

"I was so good to you, Jimin. Was I not enough for you to love? Why did you leave me like this?" Jungkook started sobbing like crazy as his knuckles bled onto the floor. He didn't bother about the blood that ran down his clenched fist onto the grey tiles. He just wanted Jimin back.

"I have problems, I know. But I-I thought we could fix them," he sobbed as he went into his personal bathroom to rinse the blood off his knuckles.