Body & Soul 🇰🇷 Part 1

Chapter 57: Seon-Ho

I had a dream of some sort...no, surely it must have been a vision? It was so realistic it truly frightened me out of my wits. I was placed in the middle of the harvest field where I saw Seo-Geom walking alongside me with a young Yeon in his arms. "Yeonn-a, I have taught you everything you need to know to survive in this merciless world my daughter. But you must keep this side of you hidden, my love. Only expose yourself when your loved ones are in need of it, especially your brother. He does not posses the intellectual talent you have inherited from your mother and you may need it to protect him. But be warned, only do it in an absolute emergency. For when you are exposed, you may need to live a harsh life in isolation from the rest of the world and countless enemies who will do anything do tear apart a woman with special intellect in this Goreyo Dynasty". My heart absolutely broke at this words...we all loved her but I had no idea at such a young age she was already prepared to live apart from everyone else...she couldn't be more than 5 years old now. But I watched her agree and embraced her father with all her love and affection as I watched him hide his tears in her hair. I then saw her a little older when her mother passed away crying next to the river...when suddenly her eyes landed on my own mother and myself when she used to bathe me in private. She stopped crying and looked at my mother with a bright smile and love in her eyes as she watched us. I then saw them again at another angle; it was the present Yeon walking with her father "I hid myself well father don't you worry. The unexpected epilepsy helped; but its gone now and I don't have anything to hide behind anymore. I am exposed now, and indeed have a lot of enemies just as you predicted. When I lost my memory I was just so frustrated; I knew Seon-Ho was hiding something from me the minute I woke up to him besides me...and I always felt that past of me was missing...so I did everything you and my my brother forbade me from. I worked but I was pushed too far and I just couldn't help myself. So now...I have no choice but to separate myself from everyone. I cannot bring my problems to their door...especially..." I couldn't help but notice how sad she looked. "Is there someone you have in your heart daughter?" He asked her but...there was something going on with me when she mentioned this. I...I wanted to go up to her, to hold her, embrace her and finally introduce myself to the only men I had looked up to. She looked at her father flustered "No one who likes me back don't you worry old man, I'm yours forever."

I was completely stunned into silence; what the hell was she talking about? I found myself getting angry...but wait. Why was it affecting me so much? "Yeonna..." but she cut him off. "He's in love with someone else. But that's not important father; actually it helps me out. Can you imagine me dragging a man into all of this? In fact...I have to cut my ties with him; its the only way to ensure his survival...if he isn't angry and disgusted with me already." I was getting angrier and angrier with each word she spoke; even more so with the tears she was shedding. I had never reached this level of anger before...because it was fear, my fear of abandonment that I will NEVER allow to happen, not from her. Her dad tried talking to her again but she just continued "it's going to absolutely kill me, especially after he took me in for years, like setting myself on fire everyday. But if something happened to him because of me or my actions I couldn't live with myself at all. Besides...I have made a lot of enemies, of course they will start throwing themselves at him. What am I supposed to do? Watch it happen? He's entitled to any woman he wants. "

I turned around so and closed my eyes in pain; no wonder I felt her distance herself from me for a while before we tried to run away...and no wonder she wouldn't look at me or even talk to me in the palace. I felt myself myself grow...dark; I initially thought it wouldn't be much of a fight between us and she would eventually concede but now with this...I realised hat it was going to take a long time for her to trust me with herself... I had to hold onto something to keep me from collapsing onto the floor, realising how hard and long this fight could be. But I picked myself up; there was no way in hell I could give her up no mater what she would throw at me...I'd do anything....go through any means to make her mine...she couldn't belong to anyone else no way...only over my dead body...Every revelation they gave only manifested my guilt towards her even more...I felt like I was suffocating again....and she was the only soul that could help me breathe.
Yeon had captivated me utterly. Growing up, not a kind word was thrown my way; I had no warmth, no affection and no friends until I met the Seo's but Yeon....her possessiveness and protective side to her that I had never taken seriously before...but I had now witnessed...it was for me. It was all for me...because that's how much she loved me...she was the only one who would go this far for me...