MY FATE

Chapter 67- You are not Selfish

In evening, Hiroki was reading a book on the swing of his balcony. He was completely lost in it that he didn't even notice Mirai came inside and was standing besides him. She cleared her throat startling Hiroki. He looked at her and said," Hey."

Mirai smiled at him," How are you feeling? Is it painful?"

Hiroki shook his head," No, I am fine."

Mirai nodded and then they both fell in awkward silence. She didn't know what to say or what to do and same was for Hiroki. She said after some time," We are going on a trip this weekend. Should we postpone it to two weeks later?"

Hiroki," No. You guys can go and enjoy. Why are you postponing it for me?"

She frowned," What are you saying? You are also going to come with us. After so long everyone is together. I want to take complete advantage of this trip to lighten up everyone's mood."

He sighed," But will they want me there? It's better if you all go without me. I don't want to spoil your trip."

Her frown deepened," Of course everyone wants you there. And you are not going to spoil anything. If anyone hates you coming with us that's their problem and ego. Why are you holding yourself back?"

Hiroki looked at her and said," I really don't think it's a good idea for me to come with you. It's-"

"You ale not gonna come with us?" Little Ai said with teary eyes.

Hiroki looked at Itsuki and Ai with surprise. He asked," When did you come here?"

Itsuki," Just now."

Ai again asked," Ale you leally not coming with us?*sob* Bu-but mommy and daddy sail *sob* you ale *sob* going. W-why ale*sob* you not co-coming?" And she started crying after that. When she started crying, Ian who was in Itsuki's arms also started crying.

Hiroki didn't know what to do. He looked at Itsuki to ask for help who shrugged his shoulders in response. Ai was crying really loudly as if someone has taken her favorite toy away from her and burnt it in front of her.

Mirai crouched down and said," Ai, baby don't cry. He will come with us, okay? Now stop crying."

Ai looked at Hiroki with expectations," Leally?"

Hiroki who saw her expecting eyes, sighed and nodded.

Ai's eyes brightened. She immediately wiped her tears and high-fived her mom and grandma. Hiroki looked at the trio sceptically," Did you plan this?"

Itsuki," Of course not."

Hiroki, who didn't believe in him one bit, nodded. He got up and walked near Itsuki to look at Ian. He rubbed his cheek softly and said," He is cute."

Mirai said with excitement," Isn't he? He is just as cute as our little Ai."

Ai giggled at her grandma's excitement.

Mirai," What are you giggling at, huh? Come here."

Ai ran away followed by Mirai. But before leaving she said," Hiroki, if you dared to cancel this trip again..............I will kidnap you and take you forcefully with us."

Hiroki looked at her dumb founded. She left after giving a smirk. He stood there in trance for some time but snapped out of it after hearing Ian's babbling.

He said to Itsuki," Sit down."

Itsuki sat down with a wiggly Ian. He wanted to be put down so Itsuki obliged. Hiroki gave him something to play with and sat besides Itsuki. Hiroki kept looking at Ian who was a really active baby. His actions were so cute that Hiroki grew fond of him in just few minutes.

Itsuki looked at Hiroki's smiling face and asked," You were the one who saved me on that day and took me to hospital, weren't you?"

Hiroki looked at him and hesitated to respond," Y-yeah."

"Thank you. If it weren't for you then maybe me and Ian both won't be alive today. Thank you so much."

Hiroki sighed and changed the topic," How are you doing?"

Itsuki smiled," Much better. Kai has started paying more and more attention to me and the children. You were right. There are many people who care for us but I behaved so selfishly."

Hiroki frowned," What are you saying? You aren't selfish. We can sometimes feel that people around us don't care. It's completely fine to feel that way. But you shouldn't hold it in. You should talk about it out loud with those people around you. If they really care then they will do everything and I mean it, everything to make you feel better."

Itsuki looked at Hiroki with astonishment," You know a lot about psychology."

Hiroki laughed," Well I used to go to psychiatrist. She was an amazing woman. Because of her I was able to come out of my depression."

Itsuki frowned," You were in depression?"

Hiroki smiled at him but didn't say anything. He sat on floor with Ian and played with him. 

Itsuki liked Hiroki a lot and he grew fond of him with time but one thing he didn't like about Hiroki was his silence. He knew Hiroki hid many many things from his family which were causing him pain but then also he didn't voice them out. He told Itsuki that communication was the key but he himself was failing to communicate with his family. Itsuki thought,' There must be some reasons for him to behave like this.'

Itsuki knew that Hiroki didn't have a healthy relationship with his family before but he didn't know what was the cause of it. He was just extremely worried that if Hiroki continued to behave like this, he will again suffer from depression or maybe he was already suffering from it. An idea passed through his head and said," I want to use washroom. Excuse me."

Hiroki nodded.

Itsuki went inside the washroom and stood in front of cabinets. First he hesitated to do this but a bad thought entered his mind,' What if he is suicidal?'

He immediately started rummaging through the cabinets as quietly and quickly as possible. He didn't find anything and was ready to give up, when he came across a razor hidden in deep and dark corner along with bandages and ointments.

He looked at those things in shock. He first thought that they must be for the rashes which Hiroki was suffering due to VAD but why would he need razor? And why would he hide them? Itsuki decided to first check Hiroki's hands for cuts and then only jump on any conclusion.

He walked out of washroom and looked at them. Ian was tugging Hiroki's shirt to make him look at him but Hiroki was completely lost in some another world. His eyes didn't have any shine in them like they used to. Itsuki frowned. He clapped his hands infront of Hiroki.

Hiroki immediately snapped out of his thoughts and smiled at Itsuki," Sorry, did you say anything?"