MY FATE

Chapter 68- He Hated it

"Sorry, were you saying anything?"

Itsuki shook his head and sat on floor besides him. He asked Hiroki," Hey, you know I am there for you, right?"

Hiroki looked really confused.

Itsuki sighed," It must be hard for you. Going through all of this. Like coming back to Kamazura mansion and also keeping up with your health."

Hiroki didn't say anything but Itsuki was right. It was really hard. Why won't it be? Suddenly some day, you woke up in a hospital where doctor told you that you need a heart transplant or you won't survive for more than five years. And when you tried your hardest to take care of yourself just for the condition to be worse and worse, who wouldn't be devastated? 

Hiroki remembered that day very well. The day he woke up in ICU after the heart attack. He remembered very well the pity in the eyes of the doctors and nurses. He remembered it very well when the doctor told him about his disease. It felt like all of his dreams were crushed. But the most worst part of it was that no one was there standing besides him to tell him that it was going to be okay.

The main reason Hiroki hated coming back to Kamazura mansion and accepting all the things they were doing for him was this. No one was there for him when he needed them the most then why now? When he finally accepted that he had to go through all of his alone, they suddenly came back. They destroyed the picture Hiroki had set about his remaining future completely. And he hated it. What right did they have to enter in his life after suddenly disowning him? If they hated him so much to the point of abuse then why did they force him to move back? Why were they helping him if they were so unwilling? Why were they torturing him even during the few time he had remaining?

Hiroki already accepted the fact that he was going to die but his family interfered again. They wanted everything to go according to them. The doctor, the job, the maids surrounding him........... basically his whole life. He hated it very much. But what was he able to do? Runaway? They would find him. Hide himself? They would find him. Taking help from Mikasa? They would destroy her life. Filing a lawsuit? They would win because of how powerful they are. He was trapped and it was suffocating him. He was trying his hardest to accept his new surroundings but it was hard. It was hard because his siblings were making it hard for him. Constantly hating him, taunting him, degrading him. It was too much. Too much to the point he became suicidal again.

Nothing good had ever happened to him for every time he came back to Kamazura mansion. He thought that it would have been better that he would have died rather than coming back to this hell hole.

While Hiroki was having war with his emotions, Itsuki studied every expression on his face. He found something terribly wrong. Hiroki was hiding something. Something very big. He silently decided to check for any cuts on his hands but there were none.(Hiroki is wearing half sleeved shirt) Itsuki frowned. He thought,' Maybe somewhere no can see.'

Itsuki had dealt with lot of patients like Hiroki even though he was a professor. He knew Hiroki will never voice out his concerns and depression to any one as long as no one will force him to. People like Hiroki lacked communication the most which was not good. It will affect their mental health more badly than the other patients who suffer from depression. From surface they would seem happy but inside there must be a war going on between their emotions. If one would minutely observed, they would see the signs of depression. Like suddenly zoning out so much that you won't even notice what is going on around you or abrupt change of emotions or taking blame for anything you hadn't done wrong or forcing yourself to accept something you didn't want to just to not have any more problems than you already do and many more.

Hiroki was showing every single of these signs. But Itsuki decided not to jump on any conclusion. He first wanted to talk about this with his father-in-law and husband and then only derive a plan.

After a short while of talking with Hiroki and playing with Ian, he left because Ian was getting sleepy. He was walking back to his room with a sleeping Ian when he came across Aunt Min.

Itsuki," You are Aunt Min, right? Hiroki's personal maid."

Aunt Min bowed in respect," Yes, sir. May I help you with anything?"

Itsuki thought for a while and said," Yes actually. Can you tell me anything about Hiroki's behavior? Anything weird? Like something you find strange?"

Aunt Min looked at him in surprise and asked," You noticed it too?"

"Noticed what?"

Min sighed," That young master Hiroki is suffering through something mentally."

Itsuki became interested," What did you observe?"

"Well, he zones out a lot. I know zoning out is very common but his is somewhat different. His eyes becomes completely blank and there is no light in them. And he zones out at the most unexpected time. Like when we are talking or when he is eating he will just abruptly stop and sit like a statue. Also, whenever something bad happens like the incident which happened yesterday, he goes in the bathroom and splashes water multiple times on his face and mumbles something constantly as if he is scolding.......no, hating himself."

Itsuki frowned after hearing this. His doubt was growing more stronger.

Min continued," I wanted to speak about this from a long time to Master but decided not to do so because I am a mere servant."

Itsuki," No, it's better you told this. Please tell me anything that you think is wrong. You have no idea how much you have helped me."

Aunt Min smiled," It will be my pleasure to help you. Young master Hiroki has gone through a lot even though he doesn't talk about it. Please help him as much as you can. And also, you can ask Ms.Mia. She must also know something, too."

Itsuki," You are right. I will ask her later. Thank you so much, Aunt Min."