Alessandro 16+ / Book 1

Chapter 2: A friendship that never ends

Slamming my bedroom door shut, I succumb to the overwhelming emotions that have taken over me.

Tears stream down my face as I am powerless to contain the pain and heartbreak that consume me, allowing myself to fully break down and express vulnerability as I come to terms with the reality of what has just happened.

My own mother.

The woman who gave me life. Put me into this world.

Hating me was a lot but selling me, she crossed it.

My heart is trumpeting relentlessly against my chest as if it wants to escape while I ponder about all this, grappling to control the trembling of my body, while heavy breaths escape my lips, creating an unsettling struggle for each breath.

Suddenly it's suffocating in here.

Every breath of air in my windpipe is gone.

Left me to die.

My stomach knots as my feet shakes uncontrollably with an incapacitated body.

Everything around me is blinded by the blur of my teary eyes that spills uncontrollably, tears of agony, fear, and an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness.

I am hurt and horrified, in disbelief, worry, and panicked.

Throughout my life, I have unfortunately become accustomed to enduring torture, neglect, anguish, and hate on a regular basis. I have never experienced a moment of respite, as there has never been anyone present to offer me love and protection.

All those who could have provided me with care and compassion are no longer around. Instead, all that remains for me here is the constant pain, fear, anger, and regret. Most grievously, my mother bears the greatest remorse of all for bringing me into this world and keeping me after the incident.

Her biggest regret is ever keeping me as her daughter. I was never meant to be hers.

Despite enduring many hardships and challenges in this place, I am hesitant to leave, knowing that my mother is unyielding, unforgiving, resentful, and impulsive. Given her nature, my mother will not accept any situation where I am safe and secure, so I know anywhere I am going, it's going be hell waiting for me so that it can unleash whatever monster they have.

What have I done to deserve all this?

To deserve everything?

All I've ever done is strive to be good enough for them, even though, for some reason, I can't and won't ever quite reach that elusive goal. But I kept trying, especially for my mother. I've always wanted to be worthy of her love, to earn her affection, and to find safety from all the torments. I also long for the love of my hermanos, to be their cherished little sister. But above all, it's my mother's love I've craved. After all, she gave me life. I've always wanted a mother, not the pain and misery she often brings into my world.

I can't control in the heavy breaths escaping me, the panic engulfing my body, the deafening ringing in my ears, and my heart racing all the way up to my ears when reality crashes down on me once more.

The only thought that fills my mind is...

"This is really happening." I sniffle my loud cry with my hands, backing away towards my bed.

When my feet press against it, I slowly sit on the soft mattress finding it hard to focus as my mind keeps replaying all that bad that awaits me at my soon new home, the thoughts that mother really found a way to get rid of me.