Yandere!Senpai x Reader [Bloody Thorns]

GAYGAYHOMOGAY

Very silly title it it seems, uh...where is the script for this?

No, can we talk for a sec? The character of the last chapter...I had no control over that. I didn't narrate that.

Actually, who am I? Am I just a storyteller? I can't tell anymore. Please help.

Oh. They just sent in this script, who is giving me this crap anyways? You know what, how about I tell you my own silly story? I don't need this crap!

You didn't see it, but I just tossed the script in the garbage. Stupid people on the outside can't tell me what to do now.

Anyways, this is my story now. I get to make all the funny jokes. Ok! Uh...oh! I have an idea.

Shit...ok so I was gonna do a self insert thingy but I realized we don't have an insert vessel. Huh? Y/N? No no she...she isn't a vessel now. It's odd, she somehow found a way to disconnect herself from readers. The people on the outside say they have no clue how it happened, but just to "go with it".

I'm sure we can just order a new one. Should work out fine!

They just told me they can send in one, but only for a little bit. There we go! We have a vessel, now we gotta tell the story.

I realized how confusing this would be, actually. What's this? Hold on, I have to pick this up.

Huh? You're kidding me? You're pullin' my chain. No? I actually have to call her that?

New orders came in, the previous vessel I was talking about earlier has a new name. It's...Obama. No, I'm not joking.

Whatever! At least we can separate them from this new Y/N! Now we can start our story, I guess.

I call this story, "Asmr Jevil and Spamton break into your home at 3 am to fuck your wife".

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You sat alone at home with your loving wife that evening. It wasn't too long ago that you had been married to such a beautiful, kind woman. She was also kind of evil and chaotic but we don't talk about that.

You felt full after eating such a heartfelt dinner. You had [Favorite Food], which was always a delight given it was made by your spouse. Such a fine feast admittedly made you quite sleepy.

"Honey, I think I'm gonna go to bed" You say, yawning.

"Alright! Get some good rest for me, kay'?"

"Mmmmm yes my beloved"

You loved your wife so much. Nothing could come between you and your wife.

You woke up from your dream, then realizing that you actually had no love life. It was quite sad, having such a lovely dream only to have it painfully attack you. You laid in your bed still tired, dreading the time you eventually go to work.

Suddenly you heard a loud banging nearby.

What the hell? Something actually happening in your life? Lucky you.

There was two voices you could make out, though you didn't quite make out the words. You suddenly realized someone might be breaking an entry in your home. Why would they want to be in your home? You weren't remarkable by any means.

"I don't see anyone in here actually, don't tell me we broke in another empty home! That's the forth in a row!" said one voice.

"SURELY WE'LL CATCH SOMEONE [[ALONE ON A LATE FRIDAY NIGHT]]." said the other.

"Dude, it's like 3 am! And I haven't yanked a single chain! I need something chaotic to get me going!"

What the hell? What was up with these guy's voices. Can't you at least have some normal people break in, and not some weirdos?

Suddenly, the door to your room opens.

"Aaaaaaannnnnybody home?"

You panicked as you saw two small, weird people walk into your room. One sorta looked like a clown, and with the father...you didn't know where to begin.

"WOAH! WELL IF IT ISN'T..."

"...some weirdo actually sleeping in their home! We found a victim!"

"A what?" you asked.

"[[FELLOW CITIZEN]]! WE HAVE COME TO [[TERRORIZE]] YOU FOR [[RATHER HUMOROUS SHENANIGANS]]."

"Why me?"

"Listen your neighborhood is empty as FUCK."

"AND YOU SEEM TO BE THE ONLY [[LOCAL HOT SINGLE]] IN YOUR [[NEIGHBORHOOD]]."

"In all honesty, I had a really good game planned where I was gonna fuck your wife as you sobbed miserably but that seems to not be an option."

"You wanted to fuck WHAT" you yelled.

"But you're like, lonely and shit so, nothing like that is happening I guess."

"Where'd you guys even come from?" you asked.

"Well there's no easy way of explaining it to dumbasses like you, but basically we aren't supposed to be here." explained the clown.

"Ok, cool. So uh...how do you plan on terrorizing me exactly."

"Spamton, tell them about the pipis."

"The what-"

"I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A MAN OF THE [[PIPIS]], A REAL MAN OF THE [[PIPIS]]."

"Spamton" proceeded to explain to you, in great detail, what pipis are and why they deserve literal worship.

"What the actual fuck I've been here for 2 hours" you say as Spamton is still going off about pipis.

"He does shit like this a lot actually."

"How are you friends??"

"We aren't. I just abuse him for my own entertainment. In fact, I hate him."

"AHAHA. WHY DON'T YOU GO [[CRY]] IN THE [[CIRCUS]] YOU BELONG IN IF YOU WANNA [[LEAVE]] SO BADLY?"

"Shut the fuck up you speak through advertisements. I bet you can't say fuck, because commercials are pussies. Go on, say fuck."

"SHUT THE [[FIFTY PERCENT OFF]]."

"See?"

"GO [[S$1T]] YOURSELF."

"Still censored."

"What the fuck am I witnessing at 5 am in the FUCKING morning."

L