Returning Home

chapter 33

I had been back to work a week and it had been very busy and it didn't help with the fact that I was sleeping like at all the nightmares and insomnia had finally caught up to me and I had a hold of it for now.

Monday night/ Tuesday morning-

I had fallen asleep relatively quickly since it was my first day back at work and I forgot how draining it was but was then awake abruptly by nightmares of the torture. I sat up and looked to my left to see Jay practically dead to the world he was on his front with his hands next to his head and he was facing me drool coming from the side of his mouth from it being open. I smiled slightly and got out of bed.

I walked into the living room to grab one of my books and then to the kitchen to get a glass of water and made my way back to bed and read most of the book for it to be almost time to get up for work.

Tuesday night/ Wednesday morning-

it was one of those nights where I knew that Jay would be up most of the night from the horrible case he had closed today so we just curled in bed listening to each other's heartbeats for about three hours until I heard Jay breathing even out and I looked up to see him asleep and I looked to the digital clock to see it was half 3.

I sighed and walked into the living room to read the rest of the book that I had started that early morning. I only got ten pages in until I was so tired that I went back to the bedroom to get some sleep but sleep never happened and I was staring at the wall waiting for sleep to consume me which never happened if you hadn't caught on.

Wednesday night/ Thursday morning-

I was able to get some sleep in the call out room at the hospital since I had a long shift but that only lasted half an hour because some drunk was screaming as he came into the ED and I gave up trying to fall back to sleep so I resorted to a large cup of coffee and walked into the ED.

"I thought you were trying to sleep," Maggie said.

"yeah well so was I but you know the 30 minutes that I got was good enough I guess" doing some paperwork.

"cass it looks like you haven't slept in days," maggie said concerned.

"no I am fine," I said lying which she caught on.

"look I don't want to step don't your toes or anything but if you need someone to talk to that isn't Jay or Will or someone along with the lines you can come to me I don't want you passing out in this ED from exhaustion so please ask," she said and walking off to help some patient.

I considered it but forgot about it as I went on the rest of my shift.

 Thursday night/ Friday morning-

the look of me bring restless had been noticed by everyone at work and Jay but they didn't say anything. the big purple bags under my eyes, the red eyes and face drooping a little bit wasn't that hard to notice. 

I had just finished another shift at work and had arrived home to see Jay sitting on the sofa.

"Hey baby how was work," he asked.

"yeah it was okay busy," I said "how was yours"

"umm quiet just a whole day catching up on paperwork," he said and I nodded a walked into the bathroom the have a shower to hopefully y try to wake me up since the coffee wasn't working. after my shower, I got changed into some panties and one of Jays shirts.

I walked into the kitchen and looked around for any melatonin and when I found none I walked into the bathroom to look in the cupboards and there wasn't any so I gave up.

I walked into the bedroom to see Jay stripping from his clothes into his boxers and he turned around. "hey you look like shit you ok"

"Yeah, just a bit tired have you got any melatonin anywhere," I asked.

"no, why are you not sleeping," he asked.

"no not really I just need some to get a full nights sleep," I said.

"you know why your not sleeping have you talked to someone," he asked concerned.

"no it is fine I think it is about being back to work and not being used to it you know," I said.

"how about you take tomorrow off relax you have been working your ass off," he said.

"no no I am fine," I said laying in bed Jay came to lay next to me and I subconsciously started to rub his hair.

"you need a haircut," I said.

"I know," he said.

"so does Will and mouse also the rest of the men that I know it is like you have never heard of a barber," I said.

"I have an appointment tomorrow at 1 o'clock," he said.

"will voight let you go," I asked.

"well I don't think he would want a hippie-looking detective on his team," he said yawning and closing his eye.

"go to sleep if you are tired," I said.

"no I want you to sleep before me," he said falling asleep then and there.

I got out of bed and walked into the living room and got a glass of milk and another book and started reading.

I would have been 4 hours later when I heard Jay walk into the living room.

"go back to sleep and why the hell do you have clothes on" asked noticing his wearing his grey joggers and a cpd hoodie.

"come on get some comfy clothes on we are off on a ride," he said holding out his hand.

"why," I asked.

"because you haven't slept in a week and you are tired you need sleep so get your ass up and put clothes on," he said and I followed his instruction and put on some of my joggers and grabbed Jays hoodie and walked out of the room we got some shoe on and he grabbed my hand and e walked into the car as he started to drive.

"where are we going," I asked but he shushed me and pulled up outside a 24-hour Pharmacy. 

"stay and I will be back," he said leaving the car. and a couple of minutes later he came back with some melatonin.

he turned to me and adjusted my seat so I was laying down he gave me a drug and took it and grabbed a blanket that was in the back of the truck and put it on me.

"go to sleep baby" he whispered.

"I love you you know that right," I said.

"I know and I love you too," he said driving around Chicago.

it only took 20 minutes for me to fall into a deep sleep for the first time since the start of the week. and I didn't wake up until noon the next morning to Jay on his phone.

"What time is it," I asked quietly.

"good morning sleeping beauty and it is noon but before you freak out Goodwin knows and you have a session with Dr Charles later on today," he said.

"arent you suppose to be at work," I asked.

"no Voight gave me that day saying I should look after you," Jay said.

"wow Voight being nice must be a special day or he got laid or something," I said yawning.

"what you think he is in a good mood because he got laid" I laughed.

"well yeah he's so uptight all the time he just needs a good shag once in a while and he might give you days more often," I said and he shook his head laughing.