Chasing Cars |Chase Elliott x Reader|

32

"Bristol just wasn't enough for you?"

Garrett stands with his hands in his pants pockets and in his puffy black coat. His breath visible through the cold as he lets out a little huff. His dark brown eyes shift and his faint smile drops.

"I wanted to talk to you."

I scoff, "It's a little too late for that you think?" I turn, about to leave. But I stop myself and turn my head back towards him, "Why should I listen to a single word you have to say to me? Give me one good reason."

His eyes flit down to his shoes and then back up to mine. There's a pause before he says, "I can't. Because there isn't one."

I blink at him and chuckle, shaking my head.

"After Bristol I got help."

I look off in front of me, absorbing the situation. Letting myself become numb to his words.

"I got home and I went out with some friends. I found myself going on about it and I let some things slip about how much I enjoyed watching you after the wreck. So disheveled and all. I guess they got word to my parents and soon after I had a surprise visit to the Psychologist. I told her everything. The lies, the manipulation. What I did to others. What I did to you."

I suck on a tooth and let the words stab through my heart. The same pain as before just felt a little less.

"I'm on medication now and I feel a lot better. Like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I was diagnosed with being a..." he pauses and looks down again, then back up, his voice changes slightly and seems almost distant and heavy "What I did to you was unspeakably horrible (F/n). I didn't see it or how it was affecting you at the time, but I do now. I was such a... such a jerk to you. I'm truly sorry and I know the venomous things I said to you that day when I officially broke up with you... but I want you to know that even with that mask that I wore... that I still loved you and I still do."

There's a pause and I feel his eyes driving into my head. I turn to face him fully, "And you expect me to run to you with open arms and give you a kiss on the cheek or a gold star?"

He opens his mouth but I silence him with my finger, feeling a deep rage awakening within me, "Garrett you destroyed me. And you had the nerve to come find me at Bristol. You. Took. It. Upon. Yourself. To. Hunt. Me. Down. For some sick, twisted reason because you enjoyed seeing me squirm. You showed up in my happy place and sought to hurt me for a second time because you are a poor excuse for a sensible human being. And what's even more sick is that time you had a whole audience. My fans, my teammates, my boss, everyone I care about. I owe you absolutely nothing.

"You were the first person I ever had truly, deeply loved Garrett." I try to keep my voice from cracking with tears I can feel building behind my eyes, "And you ruined it all for me. I can't believe that people have good intentions when they come to me. That they won't manipulate me and hurt me. To take advantage of my kindness like you did for still trying to see the good in you when there's obviously nothing but cold darkness. I can't believe that there's a single person on this Earth that actually loves me.

"You single handedly fucked my chances of believing in love and the ability to be loved. Ruined my ability to think that I can love someone. I had nightmares playing that day where you publicly humiliated me you know. Over and over, night after night. I'd wake up crying each time and wishing that I was good enough to have been loved by you. I missed you. I missed the guy I knew before we dated. He was funny and kind and smart and such a great person. He was everything to me. Not the twisted psychopath that ripped me apart."

I lick my lips and look at the passing traffic going through the middle of the town, a horn blaring in the distance.

I take a deep, shaky breath and clench my fists, "I don't know what happens to us in the end when we die... but I do know that you're going to burn and rot in hell."