If It Is You [Jikook/Kookmin] || English Ver

Chapter Fifty Five

Jungkook's POV

Dabi blocked my number, so I can't contact her. I dropped my phone and covered my face with my hands. She respected and supported my decision to leave and come here to Korea. She did it despite knowing she was bearing our child, and she said nothing. Till the very end, she kept it to herself. Even when I asked for a breakup, she said nothing, because she knew my mind would change when she told me.

How can I do this to someone who has done nothing but understand me and always be there for me?

Throw out our relationship for someone else? Why did my feelings suddenly change? Why did I let that happen?

I abandoned my girlfriend and our child because I chose to be happy with the person I just got attached to.

I hate my real family for abandoning me and letting me be raised by another family that I don't feel I belong to, but look at what I'm doing now. I'm no different from them.

I don't want that. This is not the life I wanted for myself, so I can't do that to my future child.

Even when that means, leaving Jimin.

Leaving Jimin behind... I felt my chest tighten at these words. I didn't lie when I told him I couldn't let him go, that I couldn't take it if he's not by my side, but the circumstances are different now. Even if I wanted to stay for him, I have a responsibility that I couldn't turn my back on.

Even if in the back of my mind, it could mean danger to Jimin-hyung, I will return to the States. I felt so terribly sorry. I felt so guilty for doing this to him, but I didn't have a choice.

"I bet he's waiting for you to come back." I raised my head and saw Hoseok-hyung staring down at me, worriedly. I averted my gaze and wiped away my tears, I took a deep breath.

"If you leave him, shouldn't you say goodbye properly? Time is running out. You should give him the rest of the time you have. Don't waste your time thinking about things you can never change." Hoseok-hyung said with a trace of teasing in his voice, his way of lighting the mood a little bit.

"Come on, don't just sit there and do nothing." Hoseok said encouraging me, "Go to him." He added, I averted my gaze from him and nodded quietly.

He threw the car key at me. "Go ahead." I grabbed the key and stood up. I didn't even look at him and hurried out of the house.

I parked the car and got off. At first, I was hesitant to face him but at some point, Hoseok was right. I just don't think I could say a proper goodbye. I don't want to tell him the truth because I can't. I don't want him to ask me to stay because I can't do that. This time I can't choose him. If only the circumstances were different, then I would choose him over and over.

When I was in front of the gate, I saw him outside the house. He was sitting there patiently waiting, looking up at the sky to entertain himself. My heart started to ache. The sight of him waiting for me to return truly breaks my heart.