I Hate Oliver Sykes (Oli Sykes Fan Fiction) COMPLETE

8. Kind Of Says It All, Doesn't It?

I was so mad when I got home. I hated how anger and hurt felt like the same thing for me, that any feeling of rejection turned into rage within me. I had built myself this way so I didn't get hurt, but I still hated that I cared at all. It upset me that Paige had pretty much completely forgotten about me now that she had a boyfriend, it upset me that my hook ups didn't even fucking want me, and I absolutely hated how much I let Oli get under my skin. I wished I didn't give a fuck about any of it and I could just ignore the way all of them made me feel like shit, but I couldn't. I wished I could just never deal with any of them again, but with Paige dating Matt and Oli being his best friend, that would mean giving up my social life, and I wasn't going to do that for anyone.

Paige came home the following morning and I completely ignored her as I went to get myself a tea. I was hurt, which meant I was angry with her and I guess she knew it.
"Summer, are you mad at me?" she asked. Now, I know she's not the smartest person in the world but seriously? Was it that hard to tell? "I'm surprised you even noticed I'm here..." I said sarcastically. She frowned at me and asked me what I meant. Ugh!
"It's like I don't even exist anymore to you, Paige! Someone could be murdering me and you wouldn't even notice because you're so fucking engrossed in your boyfriend all the time!" I snapped. "We go out and I'm just left on my own, looking like a fucking loser because you forget about me." I added.
"I'm sorry, I didn't even realise." she said.
"Yeah, and that kind of says it all, doesn't it?" I said with a head shake. I was so angry, but deep down, I was incredibly hurt. I grabbed my handbag and left because I didn't want her to see that she upset me or that she made me feel lonely and neglected... I felt like I wasn't good enough for anyone; probably an underlying feeling that was still stuck deep inside after being cheated on. I felt like I wanted to cry, but I refused to. Fuck that. I don't cry for anyone. I don't care about anyone or anything enough to cry over it.

I wandered around the streets, browsing the local shops, avoiding going home for as long as possible, but Paige had called me 8 times and left me a bunch of messages, so I knew I had to face her. Maybe she'd finally realised how she'd been treating me and was ready to acknowledge it. When I got home, she was upset. She started apologising and saying she didn't realise how bad of a friend she was being... I guess I felt bad that she was upset, but I was upset too... maybe she deserved to feel guilty. Eventually we hugged it out and she said she would do better. In the same breath she asked if I wanted to go out with the guys again that night and of course I felt annoyed that we never did anything alone anymore. She promised she would hang out with me and dance with me, that she wouldn't just be with Matt the whole time, so I agreed. She even turned down his offer to pick us up, saying that we would take the tube and meet them there. I guess she was going to make an effort for me, so that felt good.

We got dressed up and I found the sexiest dress I owned... I wanted attention, I needed attention. I needed to feel good and confident... I needed attention from someone so I'd feel wanted again. I honestly felt invisible after the last few times I'd been out... I hadn't had such a bad run with guys in all of the years I had been going out to clubs as I'd had lately. We got to the club and I said 'Hi' to the group then headed straight to the bar for a drink. I just wanted to do my own thing and not be around any of the guys since they seemed to be ruining my nights every single time we went out. It wasn't like I didn't want Paige to see Matt or anything or that I  expected her to follow me to the bar, I just hoped she'd come good on her word about not ditching me for the entire night. 

As I sat there, I saw Oli get up and I rolled my eyes. Was he seriously going to come over and start annoying me when I'd purposely stayed out of his way? I'd only been at the bar for 5 fucking minutes.
"Can you just fuck off?" I asked as I saw him arrive.
"Geez Sunshine, I was only coming over to tell you that you look hot." he laughed.
"Well don't." I snapped.
"Alright, you look fucking ugly then." he said.
"Great, now leave me alone." I replied. He kind of laughed.
"You're so uptight, Sunshine. Maybe I just want to talk to you." he said as he grabbed the bar stool beside me. Yeah right, or piss me off, tease me, make me feel like shit. Great. Just great. Right as he was about to sit down, two skanky girls interrupted and asked him if they could take photos with him. I just rolled my eyes and laughed to myself. I was glad that he was distracted, but I didn't need to hear them fawning over him or his awful pick-up lines, so I went to the smoking area outside for a cigarette.

I liked being outside. It was a bit cold, but there were laid back people to talk to out there so it's where I spent a good portion of my night. They were really spiritual and zen and to be honest, I forgot all about being an attention whore because they were so interesting and complimented me loads, telling me I had a 'good aura' and other whacky shit like that. I didn't necessarily believe in all of that stuff, but it was still interesting to hear what they had to say. When I went back inside, Oli had gone home with his two new bimbo friends, so at least I got a break from him and Paige also came good on her promise to dance with me. We were on the dancefloor for ages and it felt good, it felt like it should. I didn't even mind when Matt joined us because by then we were kind of dancing in a big group with a bunch of other people anyway. I actually had a good night and it wasn't until 3:30am that I decided to head home.

Paige said she would come with me, but I insisted it was fine for her to go home with Matt. She hadn't ignored me all night this time around and who was I to get in the way of my friend having a hot night of passion anyway? She said she'd be back in the morning and we could go out to the Sunday market when she got back so I hugged her and bid farewell. 

I headed home alone, not sad that Paige wasn't with me, not even sad that I wasn't bringing a guy home, but confused as to how I had been out so many times and not managed to hook up. Maybe I was losing my touch? I swiped right on a few guys on tinder and messaged a couple, but nobody was worth going back out for, so I threw my phone on the bed and decided to just go to sleep. Men fucking sucked anyway.