The estranged family

Chapter 46-Tourist spots

I woke up in the middle of the night due to jet lag and wasn't able to fall back asleep. I stepped out onto the balcony, a gush of cold air hitting me. I looked to my bed and grabbed the warm blanket. I stepped back out onto the balcony and sat on the chair admiring the view. I could see the whole city as it was lit up, the sky was clear so I could see the starts above me.

The thing I love about the night is that it's so peaceful, no one bothering you with problems or people yelling at each other. It's calm before the storm comes along. As I sit and admire the view I think of mom, knowing she would have loved this place. We would make promises that when I got older we would travel the world together and visit every country in Europe. I was still going to travel the world, not just for me but for both of us and enjoy the experience even if she isn't with me.

I got up from my seat, heading back inside. I rummage through my suitcase, pulling out the old journal with the worn out leather spine. I walk back to the balcony, putting the blanket over me.

I opened the journal, flipping to journal entry 7, picking up where I last stopped.

Journal entry 7

I'm 19 weeks pregnant and today I find out the gender of my baby. I have officially moved to seattle, I would have gone farther but the bus ticket would be more expensive. I got this tiny apartment outside the city. I would have gotten something bigger but I'm trying to save money. I take the bus to the city for my appointments, and for work. I started working at a Starbucks, I didn't realize how many there were in Seattle. My coworkers seem nice but older than me. I finally turned 18 and it definitely not what I was expecting. I was alone, sitting in my apartment, throwing up due to morning sickness. I ate some cupcakes I got from a grocery store. They were horrible and the little one agrees with me because I threw it up immediately.

I always fantasized that my 18th birthday, I would have my family and friends around or tyler taking me to Italy like he promised. I imagined him and I staying in one of those cute little apartment in the city where if you step out onto the balcony, the city is literally under you and you can see people walking the streets. I imagined he would take me to all the touristy spots and then make fun of me for it and call me one, or he would take me to all the hidden spots and show me the true parts of Italy. Instead I'm stuck in a foreign state, no one with me besides you.

The little nugget inside of me will help me get through this, you will grow up in a new city with me and we can explore the cool spots together and have the best time.

I can't wait to find out if you're a girl or boy, I don't care what you are but you'll always be my little nugget.

Looking back down at the journal, I see fresh tears stains not realizing I was crying. I wiped them away, rubbing my hand on my pajamas pants to dry them. Turning to the next page, I start to ready entry 8

Journal entry 8:

I got the results back and this little nugget in me is a girl. I can't believe I'm having a mini me. I can't wait to do your hair, and dress you up. I can't wait till you play sports or join dance, whatever you want to do. I have so many names I could possibly think of, not knowing which one fits you perfectly. As the due date gets closer I'm getting scared. I don't know how to do this alone, theirs no way I can do this alone, but millions of women do. I splurged some of my money that I promised to save on you. I already bought you some clothes and I am so excited to see you wear it. I have to buy so many things like a crib, a stroller, binkies, bottles and so much more but everything is so expensive. A pack of 2 binkies is 7 dollars and way out of my budget. I decided to check out good will for a crib and a stroller. People throw out perfectly good items which is stupid and wasteful. I have to buy more stuff for you but I am waiting till it gets closer for you to come out.