Unsuccessful

Embarrassment..

Tessa Point of View...

I am embarrassed. I am shocked. I am angry. I am scared. I am confused. I am ashamed. God, how can someone feel so many emotions all at once or I should reframe my words, how can someone make you feel so many emotions all at once. Yes, that's how I am feeling after my 20 minute discussion with Hardin Scott.

Why I am embarrassed. Why should I not be embarrassed. He just said that he will take me to a business trip and like an idiot that I am, I blurted out to him that I am not single. He was not asking you about your relationship status Tessa, he was just letting you know that you will be going to a business trip with him. He was not asking you to come and see him in a motel room or something, god, just a mere mention of such a thing with Hardin leaves me speachless.

Why I am shocked. Well, in my 20 minutes of discussion with my boss, I saw him playful, I saw him laughing, I saw him serious and then I saw him angry or hurt. No, no, no! There is no way he was hurt. I did not did anything to hurt him and why will he be hurt. Was he angry?. Yes, it has to be. He was angry on me because I jumped in to conclusions that were totally uncalled for. I was shocked by the fact that Hardin can switch so quickly and so easily in to so many emotions in just 20 minutes. He has a talent, I will try to learn that from him, if he doesn't fires me on my first day at job.

Why I am angry. I don't know, I don't know why I was angry at him. I think the fact that he can rattled me so much and he can push me to my edge, that's something which is very nerve recking. Also, the fact that he will never let go of that embarrassing moment between us. I know, he is gonna tease me as long as I work for The Scott Business Group. No, he won't. Tess, he is a busy man. He has several other things to do, otherthen teasing you.

Why I am scared. Don't ask me. It's been 4 hours already since I had that dreadful 20 minutes meeting with Hardin. Everytime someone walks towards me, I am shaking by the fear that I will get a call from HR team, stating- "Ms. Tessa Young..You are Fired". Just the thought gives me chills down my spine, what if it will become a reality. After what I did, I won't blame Hardin if he decides to fire me on my first day only. Also, the fact that whoever is coming back from Hardin' office, are either scared, or sad or have tears in their eyes. I heard someone saying.." Hardin, is in a bad mood today". He was definitely not in a bad mood earlier, when we started our discussion because he was playful and funny with me and now he is not so happy and is in a bad mood, great Tess...you pissed your own boss on your first day. Just add that to your list of achievements in your resume.

Why I am Confused. Well, out of all the feelings I am feeling, I am definitely Embarrassed and Confused the most. While he motioned me to go away from his office, while I was about to walk out, he called me and said.."Relationship status can change too". What did he meant by that?. Was he referring to his relationship status or to my relationship status?. God, just 20 minutes of meeting with him left me so confused, god knows what will happen when I will go with him on that Business trip. I might join a mental asylum after that trip.

Why I am ashamed. Well, I graduated with a master's degree in law from UCLA and I just shown my boss, the most unprofessional behaviour anyone can ever expect from a UCLA graduate. I mixed my professional life with my personal life. Telling Hardin about Matthew was wrong. I should have never done that.

No one has ever made me felt so many emotions at such a short span of time. With Matthew, I feel loved and protected and cared. With Casey, I feel relaxed and at peace. With mom and dad, I feel happy and pampered. With Terra, I feel blessed and joyful. But, all these people has lived with me throughout my life. Hardin has his presence for only 20 minutes. While I was deep in my thoughts, I hear my phone ringing. I see Terra' name flashes on my screen. I quickly pick up her call, I need someone to talk to ryt now.

"Hey..Tess!! How are you??. I thought I should call you and check how you are doing and if you will need me to pick you and Casey on my way back home??". God, I love her. She is the best elder sister, anyone can ask for. Should I tell her about what happened?. I should. I need someone to tell me, I am still mentally stable and I am not going insane.

" Hey..Terr!! I am doing ok , I guess. Everyone here are really nice and helpful, but, I made a fool of myself ". I tell my elder sister and the moment I tell her that, she bursts out laughing. Great, I am officially the source of entertainment for everyone now.

She somehow gets stable and calm downs her fits of laughter. "I am sorry, out of everything, that reaction, I was not expecting from you. What happened Tess? ". I tell her the entire dreadful 20 minutes of my discussion that I had with Hardin. She listens to me with a patient demeanor and let me finish with my stupid rant.

"Tess, first of all, no one is firing you. He won't fire you because of that discussion. Was it wrong on your part for involving your professional life with your personal life, I will say yes. You were wrong Tess. He is your boss, and he was just telling you about a business trip. Just because he was playful with you earlier doesn't mean, he wants to put his dick inside your virgin hole". I am shocked. Please can I plead everyone to stop making me feel so many emotions today. Did I heard it correct. She mentioned Virgin hole ryt?. But, she always thought I already had sex with Matthew. Should I ask her? And just like that I blurt out my confusion.

"Terr..you said my virgin hole??". She seems confused, I clarify further, god, this is embarrassing. I am talking about my virginity with my elder sister. "I thought you consider me not a virgin anymore". She understands me and quickly gives me a small laugh.

"I know Tess, I know you and Matthew have not done the deed yet. I know you are still a virgin. How do I know?. Well I have known the fact a long time ago, everytime , anyone talk about sex or about your virginity or about how sex with Matthew feels like, you blush and gets too shy. I am your elder sister Tess. Obviously, I know you better than you understand yourself ". I don't know,  How I must feel with this information.

She carries on. "But, Tess, it was wrong. Were you entirely incorrect, no, you weren't. It's because of his popularity among girls and having a bad reputation that made you force to believe the wrong way. Atleast tell me you apologised??". I nod , but, she can't see that.

"I apologised him, that's when he I believe got angry and ask me to leave his office. I don't know Terr, if he was angry or if I hurt him anyway". Terr asks me to not think about it too much she said considering the entire day went over without him calling me again, I still have my job. She is correct most probably.

I tell Terr that she doesn't have to pick me up, her store is in opposite side of city and I don't want my sister to drive all the way across city for me and Casey. I tell her , I will take a cab. Terr makes sure again, if I am ok before she disconnect her call.

It's already 5 Pm and it's about time to leave. I message Casey , to check if she is also done for the day or not. I see her message in an instant. She asked me to go on my own, she mentions that she will be visiting a friend on her way back home. Just by the mention of Casey visiting her friend, I am confused. Ken lives in North Carolina, there is no way she will go all the way to North Carolina to see him. Or maybe, Ken is in Washington. Who knows. I did knew, Casey does not want a serious relationship. I clean my desk and put my laptop in my bag and while I am about to leave, I see Marvin coming towards me. I wait for him, maybe he has some message for me.

Marvin comes and smiles at me. I hate it when he smiles. It's like an alarm to an upcoming storm. "Ohh.. Tessa, I guess you were leaving. Anyways, Mr. Scott has asked you to wait for him at his office". Just like that , it's over for me. Hardin wants me in his office. I don't have a good feeling about it anymore.

----------Authors note-------------
Sorry for my late update, I will be updating 2 more updates today hopefully. I hope you all are liking my story. I am happy to see such an amazing response from everyone. Thank you for your support and please let me know your suggestions and what you think is gonna happen? Hardin wants to see Tessa in his office.