Unsuccessful

Because I love you...❤️

Tessa' Point of View...

After leaving Matthew's office, Hardin offers me a ride back home. Me and Hardin, we sit quietly the entire ride. I cannot believe that the day which was supposed to end on a happy note is now ending on a sad one. I cannot believe that the Man I fell in love with, shattered my heart in to million pieces. I am still trying to process the entire situation that I witnessed just minutes ago. I saw Matthew, my fiancee, the love of my life, the prerson who promised to give me all the happiness and joy in the world, the Matthew Collins who I have been dating for the past 8 years, I saw him naked, having sex with another woman, with his secretary.

All these weeks, I have been dieing out of guilt because of what happened between me and Hardin. The guilt that I had was consuming me slowly like black hole, was killing me slowly like Slow poison. Never that I imagined that I will catch Matthew with another woman. God only knows if this was the first time or if he has been sleeping with this Rachel person behind my back. After witnessing what I witnessed, I now doubt if he has been faithful to me when we were in different colleges, across USA. Just by the memory of what I saw brings fresh batch of tears in my eyes.

I feel Hardin' hands on my lap and when I turn to look at him, I see him focussed on his driving. It's like he can read me like an open book. He mindlessly caresses my lap and then his hands leaves my lap and interwines our fingers. The entire ride , Hardin keeps his fingers locked with mine. Just having him here, with me, gives little bit of much needed console to my heart. Without even realizing, Hardin informs me that he is here for me, the time when I need someone to rely upon.

I turn my attention back on the road and realizes that he is not driving me to my home. I immediately panick and turns to see him. "Hardin, where are we going. Please don't tell me you are again kidnapping me to all the way to Seattle", he laughs and for the first time , after my tragic break-up, I feel a genuine smile marking my face. "No, don't worry. I am not taking you to Seattle. I mean if you want we can, just let me know. Actually, I am going tomorrow to Seattle for a week, if you want, you can join me. We will stay at our penthouse", just by the mere mention of his Seattle's penthouse, gives chills down my spine. That house holds some good and some bad memories. I don't know, which one at this moment, I should pick. I decide to pick the good ones, because honestly, I already had a fare share of bad memories for the day, I don't know if I can bear anymore. I remember the good memories that me and Hardin shared at his Seattle's penthouse. I remember how carelessly I watched and admired Hardin swim in his pool like a butterfly. I remember our first kiss in the pool, I remember how he took off my bra in the pool, I remember how we walked to his room, me without a bra, just in my panties and Hardin in his swim shorts, I remember how he undressed me that night and how I layed naked in front of Hardin, another man other then Matthew, I remember how he asked my permission every single time he kissed me or undressed me from my lingerie, I remember how he pleasured me that night. I remember everything about that amazing night in Seattle. Just by the memory of that night brings a smile on my face and I blush with embarrasment as that was the first time, Hardin saw me naked. As if he is a magician, Hardin catches me in my act of day dreaming.."Dreaming about our night together in Seattle", Hardin' voice brings me back from my dream land. "How do you know that I was thinking about our night together in Seattle", he smiles, that amazing smile on his handsome face, he shrugs and resumes driving. "I just know. We were talking about Seattle and then I lost you. But, since you had that beautiful smile on your gorgeous face, I just knew that you were reminiscing the good memories from the night we shared together at Seattle", I smile and give Hardin his confirmation. He continues to drive and he has still not given his response to my initial question. Where he is taking me. I silently presses his fingers in our interwined hands and he looks at me momentarily and then continues to drive. "Are you ever let me know where you are taking me. Hardin I hate surprises", Hardin laughs at my childlike anticts. " I am taking you to my favourite icecream shop, where I used to visit with my father and later with my mother when I was a child. Everytime I used to be sad or someone used to say something bad to me, my parents used to take me to this icecream shop, to brighten my mood. I know what you witnessed, you never thought that to happen in a million years, so, I guess I thought that I should take you to my place that used to help me brighten my mood when I was a kid", I smile at Hardin' thoughtfulness. It's rare to see this side of Hardin. In office, he is the famous Hardin Scott, rude, arrogant and professional personality. I wonder if he has ever shown this side of him to all the other girls he has been with. Out of curiosity I do ask my next question.."Have you ever taken..I mean, anyone from the other girls you have been with to this Icecream shop", he smiles and shakes his head. "No, I haven't, you are the first one. Like I said, you are my first one in many ways. You are the first girl, Tess, that I am genuinely interested at. Obviously, you let me down by choosing Matthew. I know this is not the correct timing to inform you how I feel towards you. After what happened to my father, I lost faith on the act of correct timing. I want you to know that I really like you. I know you are not ready, but, if you ever need a friend to rely upon, you can count me in. Obviously I want more with you, but, even if you allow me your friendship, I will be happy." Hardin' words makes me realize, how wrong I was towards him. I told him last week in his office that whatever happened between us in Seattle and in Texas, was a mistake. I never believed that those memories were a mistake, I just told them so that Hardin can tone down his actions towards me. Now, suddenly I have this urge to tell him, that I never meant my words. I face him and admire his handsome face. His perfect lips, his perfect eyebrows, his perfect chin, his perfect nose, his beautiful eyes. Everything about this man was an act of perfection. I cannot believe that Hardin Scott is telling me that he likes me and wants a relationship with me. But, I know Hardin. He doesn't believe in love or in romantic relationships, if he only expects me to agree to him for sex then it's better we stay friends. Also, I don't believe I can start dating anyone so soon. It will look like I was just waiting anyone of us, me or Matthew to screw our 8 year long relationship.