Unsuccessful

When Tessa meets my mother..

Hardin' Point of View...

I enter my bedroom and throw myself angrily over my bed. I want to scream. I want to trash my bedroom. I want to slap myself for what I did to Tessa, for what I told her downstairs. How can I do that? How can I say those hurtful words to her?. I still remember how she hold me last night, how she consoled me last night, how she hugged me tightly and kissed me back to my sleep, how she hold me the entire time we slept together. I never felt so protected, so loved, so cared after my nightmares. It was the first time in a long time that I slept so peacefully after having my nightmares. No one knows about them and just like that Tessa again became my first, the first and only person to know about my nightmares. Even the person I love, my mother, she doesn't know about my nightmares.

My nightmares started after my 16th birthday, after my mother's bestfriend took away my innocence, took away my virginity, after it became almost a daily routine for her to visit me in absence of my mother in my room and make me do things to her that I never wanted to do. My father destroyed my happiness and my mother's bestfriend destroyed my soul. Ever since then, Rinne became a permanent visitor. During day she used to come herself and during night she used to haunt me in my dreams.

I don't know why and how I compared Tessa with other women I have slept in the past, even Coley doesn't comes closer to how I felt about Tessa last night. Even if we did not had sex, but, just her allowing me to kiss her, her allowing me to see her naked and her spending the night with me , made her the best sexual experience I ever had in my life. I destroyed and ruined the best experience I ever had with the best person I have known in a long time. Just the way Tessa hold me last night and kissed me to sleep and helped me, prooved me that she is not like other girls I have been with, she is different and she means a lot to me.

Just the realisation that Tessa can mean something more, something important to me , scares me. I cannot feel emotions like love towards a girl, I just cannot do that. Love hurts, Relationships hurts. The day my father left us, that was the day I decided to never love anyone other then my mother. My mother is the only person I love and no one can have that emotion from me.

Still the way I reacted and the hurtful words I said to Tessa were wrong, I need to apologise, I need Tessa to understand that my past is personal and there is no way, I will let anyone know about my past, my past will go with me in my grave. What should I do? If I know Tessa the way I know her, she will hate me for what I did to her, there is no way she will forgive me. But, again I don't really know her, maybe she will forgive me, if I will properly explain myself to her, I know she will understand me.

I quickly complete my shower and get dressed. I walk out of my bedroom and make my way to Tessa' bedroom. Should I knock, or should I just enter. I decide upon knocking first and then enter, have some sence of decency, Hardin. I knock and wait for her response. 2 minutes. No response. I knock again and wait for her response. 2 minutes. No response. God, she is killing me. What should I do? I don't wait any longer and enters her bedroom. It's empty. I don't see her anywhere. I quickly make my way to the bathroom area, it's empty too. I walk out and check any signs of her presence. Her handbag is still here, the files that we brought last night are still here. I see my laptop and I see the presentation that Tessa might have been preparing for the file that's kept in an open state along with my laptop. I finally breathe a little, she hasn't left me. I quickly walk out of her bedroom to check the corridor. She is not here in the corridor. I decide to check the swimming pool area, maybe she is there. I quickly dash to the pool area and what catches my attention is her red bra, it's currently floating inside the pool. I make a mental note to keep her bra with me, there is no way I am giving that back to her. I will keep that with me as it's a reminder of our first night together.

With every passing second, I become more restless. I need to check the kitchen area and the dinning area and the garden area. I did not even gave her a proper house tour, well now she won't even agree to see me, so , why will she care about a house tour. I finally realize it's useless to buy such a massive penthouse, god, I never gave a thought that if I have to find someone, it will take me ages to find that person in this massive sized penthouse.

I sprint downstairs, I should start with the kitchen area, maybe I will find here there.

Tessa'point of view...

After cleaning myself from all the reminents of last night, I dry myself and make my way out to the bedroom area. I change in to my red dress that I wore on my first day of office. I don't bother to put my bra, I know where I will find that. Just the memory of Hardin removing it from my body, fills my heart with disgust and shame and guilt, emotions that I no longer want to feel. I also leave my panties, there is no way I will wear them as well, considering Hardin was the one who removed them. So, yes I am going full commando. I don't care. I no longer care that Hardin will see me that way. He can see me naked and still I won't care. I already lost my dignity last night when I agreed to sleep with Hardin. There is nothing else to loose. After changing in to my dress, I start working on the pending presentations. I was about to start on my final presentation when I see Casey' name on my phone screen. I quickly reject her call, I am currently not in an emotional state to talk to her. I know eventually I will talk to her about everything that happened between me and Hardin and about the way he reacted and about coming clean to Matthew, she is the only one who will be able to understand me without judging me, I love Terra but Casey is better with emotional crisis situation.

I still decide to message her and to let her know that I will talk to her tonight. I find no reception and therefore I make my way out to find some proper network connectivity.

I walk in to the kitchen area to find a middle aged woman standing there and talking to the house staff. When she realizes my presence she turns around and she catches my attention. She is beautiful. She must be in her late 40'. She has long blond hair and deep blue eyes. She is slim and tall. With a beautiful smile on her face, she walks towards me. I don't even realize when she comes and hugs me.

"You must be Coley, Hardin' personal secretary?", I shake my head to let her know that I am not who she thinks I am. "Then who are you darling?". She is beautiful. "I am Tessa...I work for Hardin at the Scott Business Group as a legal consultant." I let her know my role. She looks at me with a mischievous smile and now I mentally slaps myself for making a bad judgement about not wearing anything underneath my dress, god, I don't even know who she is and she definitely knows Hardin personally and I am standing here in front of her wearing nothing underneath. Even if my red dress is covering my body, I feel exposed and uncomfortable.

All of sudden we hear another set of frantic footsteps entering the kitchen area. Both of us turns to see the new person who has joined us and we both say in unison..."Hardin" and in return he says..."Mom"...

----------Authors note-------------

My third update for the day. I plan to publish one more, let's see if I am able to do that. I hope you all will like this update.

Let me know if you have any suggestions for me. Thank you for your support and love towards my story. Stay safe everyone.