Unsuccessful

When you hit rock bottom...

Hardin's point of view...

It's 6 Am and I have been sitting here for the past one hour. I couldn't sleep knowing what happened tonight.

I can feel the fresh air on my face. It feels good. It's a complete contrast in comparison to the cigarette I hold in between my fingers. I take another shot and let the smoke consume me completely.

I recall the events leading up to the current moment. I never thought that anyone can hold such control over your identity, over your life, but, sadly someone does with me. It's Rinne. My mother's fucking best friend.

I scream at the top of my lungs. Something that I have been doing a lot tonight ever since I stepped here, on the top floor of the hotel premises I stand.

Rinne Maverick successfully destroyed me tonight. It's a feeling I never thought existed. I look down and all I see is nothing. 20 floors. I wonder how it will feel if I jump from here. Will it hurt?

Death. I never thought about it. My father left us a couple of months ago. He died in a car accident, I wonder if it was painful. His death. I never thought that I will be consumed with this feeling so soon to try or at least see how it feels. Death.

People die all the time. Some die with illness. Some die by accident, like my father. And some commit suicide, ending their life. I stand on the roof and again look down. I see no one. If I jump from here then at least for the next one hour no one will even bother to find my dead body.

I climb up the roof and then climb down. I repeat the same action couple of times until I decide to just sit and smoke my cigarette. It's better this way. It's useless if I die by jumping from a twenty-story building. The pain that I am feeling will go away in an instant and I don't want that. I want my pain to kill me slowly, like slow poison. I laugh at the irony. I want to end my life yet I want my death to approach me as a snake crawls its way to its prey, taking its sweet time.

I finish the last of my cigarette and get comfortable on the same roof on which I have been sitting for the past one hour. From the age of five, all I experienced was pain and hurt. First, my father let me have that experience as I witnessed my mother getting abused by him. Then at the age of sixteen, my mother's best friend got her paws under my skin. It feels like all these years Rinne dragged me from one floor to another and tonight she successfully pushed me down from the top floor, ending me by ruining my dignity.

8 hours ago...

Tessa and I complete our dinner in silence with eachother's company. Once done with our dinner I excused myself to go to the washroom.

I enter the washroom and put my hand inside my pocket to check what Rinne has given me. It's a piece of paper. I open it to read. It's the name of a hotel, most preferably the hotel she is staying at. She told me her room number. 305. She wants me to see her tonight in her room in the hotel she is currently staying at. It only means one thing. She wants sex. But, I cannot do that to Tessa. I cannot cheat on her. I cannot ruin the only relationship I have in my life that makes me happy. I cannot do that and I won't do that. But, I know Rinne. She will not stop until she gets what she wants.

I know Rinne. I understand her proposition. If I escape her tonight, she will take Tedd to my mother tomorrow morning. She doesn't care about my mother. She will destroy her by telling her the biggest secret of my life.

I helplessly open the tap and splash my face with cold water, hoping it will calm my nerves and will give me some time to think about the entire situation. I only have two options.

First. I escape Rinne and go home with my Tessa. Second. I escape Tessa and go to the hotel Rinne is staying at. If I choose the first option, Rinne will destroy my mother. If I choose the second option, I will destroy Tessa and our marriage. It's between Tessa and my mother. Whom should I choose? Both of them mean everything to me. I love both of them.