Unsuccessful

Past..

Hardin Point of View...

For some people reminiscing old days brings back beautiful memories from the past, but, for me it's not the same. I am among those people, who never wants to remember my old days, my childhood days, my teenage days, my college days. I just don't want to remember them.

Everytime I do or someone do something in front of me that makes me remember my old days, my mother's sad face, my mother's pale face, my mother crying in the kitchen, my mother crying in her room, my mother crying in the washroom, that's what I remember. For me, I want to bury my past in the core of Earth so that no one can ever dug it out.

My past makes me remember the helpless, vulnerable, weak little boy I was. I was not able to protect my mother, whenever she used to cry, I used to stand in the corner and used to see her. I was so weak that I was not even able to wipe away her tears.

I don't want to be that weak, pathetic, helpless child anymore, I am now 28 years old and now I have changed. Now, no one can put a finger on my mother, because if they will, they won't be able to see the tomorrow's sun. Only man who still holds more power then me is my father..Mark Scott, the person I hate and the person I despised the most. It's because of him, that I am a man without emotions, emotions like love, care, kindness don't exists in me and I have to thank my father for that.

22 years ago...

Today, I have won first prize in the drawing competition. My mother is so happy and she made me my favourite choclate cake. She wants to celebrate my victory but sadly dad is again late. I am waiting for dad in my room and my mother is waiting for him in the living room. My dad was never late before, before we moved in to this huge mansion, before we lived in a small 2 bedroom apartment. He was always on time, but , now he is late everyday. He comes late at night and he is gone before I wake up in morning. I miss my dad.

From my room, I hear my father's car stopping and that sound, that comes everytime he walks out of the car. I know he is home. Should I go out?? No, I should wait for my mother to call me out. Dad will be so happy, to see my drawing and my medal. Maybe he will bring me a new toy car tomorrow. But, I hear my mother's voice coming from the hall.

" You are late again. I told you, today was a big day for Hardin, he had his drawing competition, he was expecting his father". My mother is standing in front of dad. He is looking tired and he is trying to undress himself.

"Lilly, please don't start this again. I told you , I had back to back meetings, I told you, I will try my best to make it but I cannot promise". My father looks sad and guilty. It's ok, dad , I forgive you. Mom, told me forgiveness is deserved by everyone.

" It's ok, I understand that you had back to back meetings, but, the least you could have done is to atleast call him, after I told you that he has won. All of his friends father's were there, you do realise this is the 4th time in 2 weeks that you have missed something important. Mark, We love you and we support you in whatever you will do in your life, but, what's the point of making so much money that can not even buy your own son' happiness. He is only 6 years old, he wants his dad in some of his school's functions. He is too young to feel ignored by his own father".

"What the hell you are talking about". My father screams, literally screams and my mother takes a step back and holds the chair that is situated ryt behind her. I have never seen my dad scream so loud.

" Don't shout, he is awake and is in his room. It's not good for him".

"So , stop pestering me for once. Everyday, I come back from work, I get to hear your complaints. You say you love me and support me but honestly it feels like you don't even know me anymore". My father is angry, he throws his bag across the room and starts approaching my room. I am scared, what if he scolds me or beat me, no, my father loves me, he will never do that. But, I am afraid, so, I run back to my bed and quickly pull the sheets above my head, hoping dad will go away, thinking that I am sleeping. He enters my room, switch on the lights and then switch them off and then leaves my room. I am crying and my tears ruins my winning drawing. I was not even able to make him see my drawing.