Unsuccessful

Maybe I can love back..

Hardin' Point of View...

Tessa surprises me by wrapping her hands across my neck and by kissing me. I am  currently seated in my car, outside my favourite icecream shop, kissing the girl I imagined to be my wife. This place was already special to me but now it tops my list of my new favourite places. One more beautiful memory has been added in context to this place. The beautiful memory of kissing Tessa. I know we have kissed before, but everytime she kissed me before today, she always had guilt in her heart and the thought in her mind that she is cheating Matthew by her actions, but, not today. Today Tessa Young is kissing me because she wants to, today she is the one who initiated our kiss, in true means tonight we share our first kiss, with no doubts, with no regrets, with no guilt. Today she kisses me because she wants me.

We have to break our kiss once oxygen becomes an issue. Both of us cannot contain our smiles, Tessa has her head pressed across my head and again tonight Blue meets Green and for the first time, her eyes reflects a certain sence of want and desire for me and towards us. I still cannot believe I told a girl that I love her and that if she chooses me, I will love her with my heart, for an eternity. I can see her beautiful smile enhancing her gorgeous facial features. "Does this kiss means a Yes", she breaks our moment and looks at me in confusion. "Are you giving me your "Yes" for Marraige. Will you agree to be my wife", I ask Tessa playfully. Once she realises that I am teasing her, she slaps my chest and pushes me away playfully. "Down boy. One step at a time", I smile at her playful attitude. This is what I love about her. I can be with her without the walls that usually guard my heart, without my fears, without my hesitations. She makes me free. She gives my soul a sence of independence that I never felt with any other girl, not even Coley. In this very moment, I realize for the first time that I have fallen in love with Tessa Young and I didn't even realized when that happened.

She takes my hand and wraps her fingers across mine and bents down to give my knuckles a gentle kiss. "Thank you Hardin. Thank you for tonight. Can I ask you something?", I nod and gestures her to continue. In the meanwhile, I put my car in ignition and drive us back to the highway. "Umm..can we take it slow. I really want to be with you. I do. I know you told me that you love me, sorry, but I don't know if I love you yet, maybe in sometime. I loved Matthew my entire life and he hurted me in the worst way possible. I just need some time to heal. I know if we start anything straightaway, then it won't do justice to you and most importantly to us. Please, can we take it slow and just take our time to understand eachother." Do I want to take our relationship slow, it's a simple answer for me, it's "No" for me. If someone has to ask me, I want to  take Tessa to my penthouse, make love to her all night and tomorrow claim her as my wife. But with my tough past, I have learnt that in every relationship we have to make compromises and I don't want to push Tessa in to something that she is not ready for. I nod and give her my "Yes". "Yes, we can take it slow, whatever way you want", I bring her hand to my lips and kisses her kunckles and her hand gently.

We drive in silence and in peace to Tessa' home. We were lost in our own world that we totally forget that today was Tessa' Engagement party with Matthew and everyone from her family and from Matthew's family were at Tessa' home. Once we reach our destination, we realize what awaits  ahead of us. I turn towards Tessa and find her sitting nervously on her seat. I gently press our fingers that are interwined with mine, "Are you ready", she turns and looks over me with her beautiful smile. "Don't worry about me Hardin, I will be ok. I do have to face them at some point, it's better to face them now and tell them the truth rather then hide the truth and continue to lie to them. " I nod and rests my car out of ignition. "Just know that I am with you. We will get through this together, ok?". She nods and we leave our car towards Tessa' home. As we enter Tessa' house, the decorations has been taken down. We see Tessa' elder sister sitting in the living area with her face burried in her hands. Her sister sences our presence and immediately rushes towards Tessa and hugs her in a tight embrace. "Suffocating here..", Tessa jokes and her sister ends her bone crushing hug and wipes away her tears. "I am sorry. Matthew's father got a call from him and apparently Matthew informed his father about what happened. We obviously don't know the details, we don't want to know the details until you feel comfortable to share them with us. His father only informed us that Matthew cheated on you and you saw him doing that and you broke up with him. Engagement has been called off", me and Tessa, we both nod in agreement.