Cold Hearted ⭒ Cobra Kai

4.5.5

Chapter Sixty-Three: Regrets

"Should I give up? Or should I just keep chasing pavements? Even if it leads nowhere?"

~Chasing Pavements by Adele~

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Revised: May 23, 2023

Warnings: abuse, addiction, anxiety, biphobia/homophobia, depression, domestic violence, slight eating disorder, language, panic attacks, sexual harassment/assault/abuse, violence, and other mature themes

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Zion's POV

A/N: Flashback to six months ago.

"Miguel has been there for me. Ever since I moved to Reseda, I had him," I sob. "He was always so welcoming and protective and he'd help me and I'd help him and he'd never judge me and we'd laugh through the good times and cry through the bad..." My voice trails off as I sob embarrassingly loudly."A-And now..."

I feel the pain rise in my chest as I think about Miguel at the hospital. Is he even alive?

"Dad... I miss you. I'm so lost without you a-and I need your help." I take a breath, "I feel like I'm going in circles sometimes. Life is so hard, high school sucks, and I have nobody to help me navigate it; you were my rock."

Tears start to fall faster now.

"I feel like... like everything I do is wrong. The rules of life change constantly and it's confusing and I don't know how much longer I can take this feeling. I-I feel useless and weak. Especially since M-Miguel was the only stable and steady thing in my life... and now he's gone. I really need some guidance."

I take a moment, waiting for a response of some sort. I don't know what it would be, but I need my dad. More than anything.

"I'm losing hope. I'm losing my memories of you. I lost the fight today, I lost my boyfriend, I lost my best friend, I lost my dignity when I broke down in front of the whole school. I keep... losing," I say hoarsely. "Please. Please, give me a sign of what to do."

I wait again. I need a sign. I need to know what do next.

Ten seconds. Thirty seconds. Sixty seconds pass. And nothing. I'm so stupid. My dad isn't listening.

"Please, Dad. I-I'm scared," I plead weakly. "I'm scared Miguel won't make it, I'm scared of mom coming after me, I'm scared of losing more people. I-I'm terrified of losing karate because it could be all I have left." Fear does not exist. "I need your guidance."

I'm that naive, little girl Janice always said I was. I need to stop believing in fairytales and magic.

"I need my Dad."

My dad isn't here and neither is Miguel. I need to grow up.

"I... I never even got to say goodbye to him. To either of you."

Life is unfair. The real world shows no mercy. I know this. I need to stop crying about it.

I'm nauseous and the world is spinning. I'm shaking. Oh no. Not another panic attack.