Cold Hearted ⭒ Cobra Kai

5.8.2

"Through bad situations, fixed the foundation, and now I'm doin' all right. Now I'm in a good place."

~Good Place by Demi Lovato~

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A/N: It's been farrrr too long since I've lasted updated. I apologize. I've been in hell since May tbh, and now school has started back up. Here are a little over 10,000 words as a peace offering <3

Please don't forget to comment and vote. The interactions motivate me to write and update sooner. This is especially important since Wattpad has been so dry recently.

Enjoy!

Warnings: abuse, addiction, anxiety, biphobia/homophobia, depression, domestic violence, gun violence, language, panic attacks, sexual harassment/assault/abuse, violence, weapons, and other mature themes

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My heart is heavy as I get ready for bed. The lesson today didn't exactly go as planned. I really thought it might be okay after all the preparation I did with Dr. Hillard, but the last half of the lesson was a mess. I want to fully blame Demetri, but I also blame myself. I don't know if everyone understood my lesson, but I hope so because of how important it is.

Miguel tried to assure me it was a good lesson. I know I'm not the best teacher, and that's okay. I knew that going in. I'm just disappointed in myself. What I was teaching was important, but all Demetri could see was the cobra I used to be. I want to fall asleep and forget this happened for a little bit.

I turn out the light and settle into bed. My keys lay on the nightstand beside me. Once my eyes adjust to the darkness, I look at the keychain with a slight frown.

I don't know if I should keep it on or take it off. Is it a good idea to hold onto hope for us? I don't want to get over Robby. We still love each other, but is it messed up to hold him in my heart and potentially lead him on?

So much made sense in love when I was with Robby, but now it seems nothing makes sense.

I reach for my phone to find something to distract me from the ever-lingering question.

I scroll through Instagram notifications until I see a notification from Google Photos:

Remember This?

I click on the notification. I think my phone can read my mind.

The photo I took of young Robby popped up on my photos. It's the picture Johnny has in his wallet. He looks so small and sweet.

There's a collection of photos within the suggested album full of me and Robby. I assume it's beacuse of facial recognition, but I think it's weird timing.

I scroll through some photos and see one from a couple of summers ago. There are a few, actually, but this one is a selfie from on top of the roof in downtown Santa Maria. I remember that we snuck up there for a better view of the dancing. I smile slightly at the photo; we took it right before going back down the ladder to go to my house.

I shut off my phone when I start to get sad. I don't want to go to bed sad or feeling like a hopeless romantic. If I want Robby, I should just go over to his place and get him.

None of that is logical, though. There's a reason I should be alone. I need to do what's best for me. I need to take a step back from dating. I need to focus on myself and my training.

Why does me focusing on myself make me feel like shit?

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I wash the dishes the next morning and still think about Robby and what could be. I know that I should talk to my therapist about this. I keep thinking I know what's best for me, but it's getting harder and harder to stay away when I see him everday.